Subject: Daily Dose - 080528 - legal and logical, BIZARRE NEWS, Over 60 Q's and A's, DDL, Rotten News

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his professor about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as it is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam."

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

(Thanks Sonia...)

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BIZARRE NEWS...

Bizarre Presidential FACTS

Ronald Reagan, the 40th U.S. president, saved 77 people from drowning as a lifeguard in his youth at a riverside beach near Dixon, Illinois.

20th president of the United States James Garfield could write Greek with one hand while writing Latin with the other.

Abe Lincoln, the 16th president of the United States, carried letters, bills, and notes in his notorious black, top-hat.

First U.S. president George Washington rejected a movement among army officers to make him king of the United States.

William Taft, 27th president of the United States, weighed more than 300 pounds and had a special oversized bathtub installed in the White House.

The 38th president of the United States, Gerald Ford turned down offers to play professional football for the Green Bay Packers and the Detroit Lions.

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Police seek nude drive-through customer

LAKE MARY, Fla. - Authorities in Lake Mary, Fla., are searching for a man who allegedly drove his red Corvette through a Dunkin' Donuts drive-through while nude below the waist.

Employees at the emporium said the man visited the location without his pants three times Thursday and once Friday, ordering coffee on each occasion, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Tuesday. The employees did not get the man's name or license plate number, but they described him as a bald, white male driving a red Corvette.

They said he only ordered coffee on each occasion and did not wait to collect his change, which amounted to 40 cents per visit. Police Detective Matt Schaefer said the matter is under investigation.

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Mom arrested for going on parenting strike

OCALA, Fla. - A Florida mother-of-four was charged with child neglect after she told police she went "on strike" from taking care of her boys more than a month ago.

Melissa G. Dean, 33, was arrested after she told authorities that she left her kids, ages 17, 16, 14 and 13, home alone for hours each day because they fight too much, WKMG-TV, Orlando, Fla. reported.

In a charging affidavit, Dean reportedly said her kids needed to stop arguing and start cleaning and she possessed no control over them. Dean allegedly told a Department of Families official that she chose to go "on strike" because she couldn't get help taking care of her boys from the police or courts.

Police said they arrived at the home Monday because two of the boys were fighting about a computer cord and called from a neighbor's house. Authorities have visited the home on multiple occasions in the past, WKMG said.

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Mounties pants go missing in break-in

MAPLE RIDGE, British Columbia - The Royal Canadian Mounted Police in British Columbia lost several pairs of pants in a burglary of a dry cleaning store, the RCMP said.

The burglary happened at 5:15 a.m. Monday in Maple Ridge, some 30 miles east of Vancouver at Anthony's Fine Cleaners, RCMP Cpl. Ryan Schlecker said in a statement. The store owner reported a small amount of cash and an Air Canada flight attendant's jacket also stolen, but the police pants weren't noticed missing until the officer who owned them came to claim them, the Maple Ridge News reported.

Schlecker's statement said there were concerns the pants with a distinctive yellow strip down each leg could be used by someone impersonating a police officer, the Vancouver Sun reported.

"We're alerting the public to this theft so they can be aware," the statement said. "If any member of the general public is not certain that you are dealing with a police officer, you have the right to see supporting identification, which all police officers carry."

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Over 60 Q's and A's

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60+ year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?

A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where do 60+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?

A: Their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: "I remember these".

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DDL

There was a young girl of Machias

Whose bloomers were cut on the bias,

With an opening behind

To let out the wind,

And to let the boys in once or twias.

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"In LA a 500-pound man was arrested for stealing food from a restaurant. Police say it took five minutes to catch the suspect and two hours to pat him down."

-Conan O'Brien

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"The U.N has evidence of global warming. And right now they are working hard, around the clock to do nothing about it."

--Dave Letterman

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"This week, a woman whose car was swept away in a flash flood said she survived because of something she saw on a 'Fear Factor' episode. Those reality shows really are lifesavers. It's only by watching 'Extreme Makeover' that I realized I looked stupid with bangs."

-Dennis Miller

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Rotten News....  (true)

Community service for wombat rape claim

A Motueka man who claimed to have been left speaking Australian after being raped by a wombat has been sentenced to 75 hours' community work for his trouble.

Arthur Ross Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker, admitted in the Nelson District Court yesterday to the charge of using a phone for a fictitious purpose, after calling police with the message, 'I've been raped by a wombat'.

Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that on the afternoon of February 11 Cradock called the police communications centre, threatening to "smash the filth" if they arrived at his home that night. When asked if he had an emergency, he replied "yes", Mr Stringer said.

On a second subsequent call to the communications centre, Cradock told police he was being raped by a wombat at his Motueka address, and sought their immediate help. He called police again soon after, and gave his full name, saying he wanted to withdraw the complaint.

"I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out,'' Cradock told the operator at the communications centre, who had no idea what he was talking about, Mr Stringer said. "Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all,'' Cradock then told the operator.

Mr Stringer said alcohol had played a big part in Cradock's life. However, defence lawyer Michael Vesty said alcohol was not a problem that day.

Judge Richard Russell said he was not quite sure what motivated Cradock to make those statements to the police. In sentencing, he warned Cradock not to do it again.

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Naked calendar gets forces Sask. to re-pave road

By Tim Cook, THE CANADIAN PRESS

REGINA - The citizens of southwest Saskatchewan have learned just how influential a middle-aged man with a camera standing naked in a pothole can be.

The provincial government announced Wednesday that it will fix Highway 32 - a broken stretch of blacktop between Swift Current and Leader - a year after people in the area doffed their clothes and made a calendar to draw attention to the state of their crumbling road.

"My daughter still won't speak to me, but it was very much worth it," said Gord Stueck, or Mr. January.

Stueck owns a pharmacy in Leader and was the driving force behind the cheeky protest.

Stueck's photo features him standing in a pothole in his birthday suit, a long-lens camera strategically placed to cover his manly parts.

"It's a good thing it was cold that day," Stueck jokes.

Other pictures feature a man in the buff riding in a canoe in a pothole and a nude man planting potatoes. The lone woman in the calendar is seen hiding behind a bright yellow danger sign while another man covers his stripped self behind a broken windshield.

The 2007 calendar became a hot commodity, Stueck said. It was featured in news stories across the country and around the world. The man planting potatoes actually had an admirer call him from northern Alberta, inviting him to come for a visit.

The 3,000 copies were sold for $20 a piece and ended up raising $40,000 for the community of Leader.

"How this took off we're not sure. Other naked calendars have been done. I like to think it's because of the models," Stueck said. "I believe it's because everybody has a road to hate so that's why it took off. Picking on the government. Everybody loves to pick on the government."

It will take three years to complete the work on the 50 kilometre stretch of road that is in the worst shape.

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Circus "slave" forced to swim with piranhas

Tue Mar 25, 3:57 PM ET

ROME (Reuters) - Police rescued two teenage Bulgarian sisters from a circus in southern Italy which forced one of them to swim with flesh-eating piranhas for the amusement of guests, police said.

While the 19-year-old sister swam in a transparent tank, the younger, 16-year-old was forced into a container where the circus staff tossed snakes at her. She was injured by one of the snakes, police said.

Police arrested three Italians who ran the circus south of Naples, in Salerno province, accusing them of forcing the sisters to live in virtual slavery. The women were paid 100 euros ($155.8) per week and lived in a trailer that had previously been used to transport animals, they said.

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Photo News from the British Tabloids....

Mondex the frog-dog

A chihuahua in a scuba suit has won a canine fashion show in the Philippines.

Five-year-old Mondex wore a four-legged wetsuit, air bottle, four little flippers and goggles for the day.

Mondex was joined by other pampered pooches in the pet fashion show held in a mall in suburban Manila. He faced stiff competition from Tucker, another five-year-old chihuahua, who was dressed as a cowboy but eventually emerged victorious.

Rumours that he is now set to pursue a career as a police frog-dog are understood to be wide of the mark.