Subject: Daily Dose - 080522 - Analogy,
THIS is TRUE, undesirable habit, DDL, Rotten News
Analogy
Bad is never good until worse happens
- Danish Proverb
QUITE AN ANALOGY
I buy a bird feeder. I hang it in my back porch and fill it with seed. Within a week, we have hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.
But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere.
Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.
And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.
After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.
Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.
Now lets see . . .
Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.
Then the illegals come by the tens of thousands.
Suddenly our taxes go up to pay for free services. Small apartments are housing 5 families.
You have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor.
Your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.
Corn Flakes now comes in a bilingual box.
I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English.
And people waving flags other than " the Maple Leaf" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.
Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.
What do ya think...?
(Thanks Jim...)
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THIS is TRUE...
NO REALLY -- I'M VERY SORRY: Vince Hogg, 45, and Beverley Burns, 42, "regularly had furious rows," a court in Fife, Scotland, heard. Their latest was no different: Hogg pulled Burns's hair and threw her against a wall. "He was angry about the fact a shower was leaking and caused a carpet to get wet," the prosecutor said. Hogg pled guilty and got probation rather than jail. But there have been "serious consequences for his line of work," prosecutor Joanna Nicholson told the court. Hogg has worked for the National Health Service for 27 years, she said, and was "heavily involved" in the Zero Tolerance Campaign Against Domestic Violence. He was recently promoted to anger management counselor, but that promotion was rescinded after his arrest. In the meantime, he was suspended with full pay, and will return to work at NHS. (Glasgow Daily Record)
...Remember kids, loopholes in "Zero Tolerance" are only for those who make the rules.
***
BIG SISTER IS WATCHING: To cut down on shoplifting in stores, police in Derbyshire, England, have been providing shops with life-sized cardboard cutouts of one of their active-duty constables, Anna Gaskell, 25. She recently picked up 10 more cutouts of herself. "They're very realistic and looking at ten of me was surreal," she said. The program has been a success, with dramatic reductions in shoplifting in stores where the cutouts are set up, conspicuously watching over shoppers. There was one notable failure in one shop, however: in the town of Belper, a shop had its cardboard cutout of PC Gaskell stolen. (Manchester Evening News)
...A cardboard cutout of a police dog is hot on the suspect's trail.
***
OK BUDDY, WHERE'S THE FIRE? When the Anchorage Inn in Rouses Point, N.Y., caught fire, the small town at the extreme north tip of the state called for help from neighboring fire departments. The town of Lacolle, Que., Canada, which is just 8 miles away, sent an engine, but it was stopped at the border by a U.S. Customs official. "I've been crossing this border for 30 years, and the only question we were ever asked was, 'Where's the fire?'," said Lacolle fire chief Jean-Pierre Hebert. This time, however, the firefighters were delayed for as long as 15 minutes while they explained why they didn't have their passports in their bunker gear. "When you're answering a call at midnight, all you think about is putting on your pants," Hebert said. "You don't think about taking your wallet." Two other trucks behind them, also running with lights and sirens, were also delayed. Hebert said American authorities promised the "isolated incident" would not be repeated. Too late for the restaurant: it was completely destroyed. (Toronto Globe and Mail)
...Which is probably more than any firetruck-borne terrorists could have accomplished.
***
ANOTHER FIREMAN IN HEAT: "Columbus police utilized this topless woman to snare this man," argued Sam Shamansky, the attorney for Columbus, Ohio, firefighter Robin Garrison. "He's not some seedy pervert." The woman, who is not a police officer, was sunning herself in a city park; women and men alike are allowed to sunbathe topless, and at one point Garrison, 42, stopped to talk to her -- and unzipped his pants and exposed himself. The incident was recorded on video by police on a stakeout from a distance, but the tape was good enough to be used as evidence. The jury, not impressed with the "entrapment" defense, convicted Garrison of public indecency. Shamansky says he plans to appeal, and says the woman asked to see Garrison's genitals "and, like a fool, he does it" -- in the public park. (Columbus Dispatch)
...Which pretty much makes him a seedy pervert.
***
EVERY DAY SEEMED LIKE A LIFETIME: "Richard Nolte, Three-Week Ambassador During Six-Day War, Dies at 86"
-- New York Times headline
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Waiting for our aerobics class to begin, several of us were standing around in our leotards chatting about fitness and diets. One woman said that her brother-in-law had quit smoking, gone on a diet and lost weight all at the same time.
Thinking to myself that no human being could possibly do this without acquiring at least one other undesirable habit for compensation, I jokingly asked her, "What did he start doing instead of these things?"
After a slight pause, she smiled and said, "Well, my sister is pregnant now."
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DDL
A much-diddled dolly named Mabel
Always gets hers bent over a table.
"Fucking's fun," the gal said,
"But it's more fun in bed,
And best in the hay in a stable."
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"Castro announced his retirement on the Internet. This is the man who blocked the Internet in his own country. He has a blog. Probably has a MySpace page as well — Current mood: Evil."
-Craig Ferguson
***
"Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Texas. They're really nervous over at the Hillary camp. To give you an idea how nervous she is, she showed up in a pantsuit and chaps."
-David Letterman
***
"Yesterday, Fidel Castro announced he is stepping down. He will be replaced by his brother Raul. According to the State Department, Raul is the Jim Belushi of Central America."
-Conan O'Brien
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Rotten News.... (true)
Dodgy China salon's haircuts no snip at $1,700
Mon Apr 7, 5:51 AM ET
BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese hair salon has been shut down and fined 500,000 yuan (36,000 pounds) for holding two customers hostage and charging wildly excessive fees for haircuts, a newspaper reported on Monday.
College students Zhang Yi and Yuan Sha Sha went for a haircut at Baolou International Beauty Salon in Zhengzhou, in the central province of Henan, expecting to pay the 38 yuan (2.72 pounds) advertised on the window. But when the barbers were done, they produced a joint bill for 12,000 yuan (855 pounds), enough to make anyone's hair curl, the Beijing News reported.
"After borrowing from 16 people, the two were only able to come up with 9,800 yuan and it wasn't until after 10 pm were they allowed to leave the hair salon," it reported.
It was not the first time that the shop tried to cheat consumers. One was slapped with a bill for 4,776 yuan when she came in for a haircut last September. In December, another customer opted for a 68 yuan haircut, but was asked to pay 5,670 yuan.
The shop was eventually shut down with nearly 100 local residents applauding outside, the newspaper said.
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World's fastest internet connection 'used to dry laundry'
Published: 31 Mar 08 13:44 CET
Last summer a 75-year-old woman from Karlstad became the envy of internet users worldwide.
With her blistering 40 gigabits per second connection, Sigbritt Löthberg had the world's fastest internet connection - many thousands of times faster than the average residential link and the first time ever that a home user had experienced such a high speed.
So, after nine months with the ability to download a full high definition DVD in just two seconds or access 1,500 high definition HDTV channels simultaneously, how has Sigbritt's life changed?
Not much, according to Hafsteinn Jonsson, who is heading up the fibre network operation for Karlstad Stadsnät.
"She mostly used it to dry her laundry," he told The Local. "It was a big bit of gear and it got pretty warm."
Sigbritt's son, Swedish internet legend Peter Löthberg, was behind the project, which was intended to demonstrate how a low price, high capacity fibre line could be built over long distances. Löthberg has now taken the equipment up to Luleå, in the north of Sweden, for further testing.
The secret behind the ultra-fast connection is a new modulation technique which allows data to be transferred directly between two routers up to 2,000 kilometres apart, with no intermediary transponders. According to Karlstad Stadsnät the distance is, in theory, unlimited - there is no data loss as long as the fibre is in place.
Sigbritt may have been denied her world-beating internet link but she still has an admirable 10 gigabits per second connection. And there may be another surprise in store for her.
"We're considering giving her a 100 gigabits per second connection in the summer," said Hafsteinn Jonsson. "Then she'll be able to dry all her neighbours' laundry too."
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Cosmetic castration banned
Wed Apr 2, 9:48 AM ET
BANGKOK (Reuters) - Thailand's health chiefs barred hospitals and clinics on Wednesday from castrating would-be "ladyboys" amid growing concern about the operation being seen as a cheap and quick alternative to a full sex-change.
In a letter to 16,000 private health units, the Public Health Ministry said doctors performing the operation outside formal sex-change therapy -- which requires rigorous physical and mental evaluation of the patient -- faced up to six months in jail. However, senior health official Tara Chinakarn admitted that policing the temporary ban might be difficult as cosmetic removal of the testicles was such a quick operation and easy to conduct in secret.
"It's hard to track them down as it takes only 15-20 minutes to have the surgery," Tara told Reuters.
Thailand is home to a large number of "ladyboys," or "katoey" in Thai, a term that covers anything from a transvestite to a man who has undergone a full sex change. The tolerance shown towards the "third sex," as it is often referred to, has led to the country becoming a world leader in sex-change surgery.
However, at the lower end of the market, clinics have responded to demand from teenage boys to look more like girls by posting Internet advertisements offering castration for as little as 4,000 baht ($125).
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Photo News from the British Tabloids....
Row over fish in urinal
A Chinese restaurant has been criticised - for keeping ornamental fish in a urinal.
The restaurant in Changchun city has around 20 fancy carp in the four-metre long trough in the gents' bathroom.
The Eastern Asian Economic and Trade Daily says experts have condemned the move as harmful to the fish and "disrespectful to China's fish culture".
A spokesman for the restaurant insisted the urinal contained a mixture of urine and water which was not harmful to the fish.
"The water is running, and each day we change the water at least twice and add oxygen into the water. It's not much different to a fish tank," he said.
The owner added that the fish were intended as an attraction for diners and were not used in dishes.
Guests seemed surprised to find fish swimming in the trough which has sign saying "Please urinate here" above it.
"If they didn't have the sign here I would have thought it was a new fish tank," said one diner, Mr Wang.
"It's really interesting," added another, Mr Sun, who said he was planning to use the bathroom again, just to repeat the experience.