Subject: Daily Dose - 080513 - man's best friend, BIZARRE NEWS, dyslexic, DDL, News from the British Tabloids

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for one hour.

When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?

(By George...  you're right!     Thanks George...)

______________________________

BIZARRE NEWS...

Bizarre Facts

When antelopes become excited and leap vertically into the air, it is called "pronking."

The average human bladder can hold 13 ounces of fluid.

There are 1,575 steps from the ground floor to the top of the Empire State building.

When in the shower, 75 percent of people wash from top to bottom.

In poker, a pair of Queens is also referred to as a "Seigfried & Roy."

The average American looks at eight houses before buying one.

The army controlled by the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz were called the Winkies.

***

Crematorium plans to create 'body heat'

MANCHESTER, England - A crematorium near Manchester, England, has introduced the idea of using heat produced by burning bodies to keep mourners warm.

Tameside Council officials are planning to use heat generated from cremating bodies to keep people warm at Dukinfield Crematorium, the Daily Mail reported Monday. The council said the plan would reduce its carbon footprint by capturing and reusing the energy. The heat generated could be enough to power the boiler and light the chapel.

The idea has already been given the green light by a few locals. "I have no problem with it," said Rev Tim Hayes of St John's Church. "They treat people with real dignity at the crematorium, but the procedure itself is a very scientific process. I'll be very interested to see how the plans unfold."

The Rev. Dr. Vernon Marshall of Old Chapel called it a "final act of generosity" that is "a lovely way for the dead to provide comfort for the living at a difficult time."

***

Group seeks pardon for witchcraft

EDINBURGH , Scotland - A Scottish group specializing in the paranormal is calling for the country's Parliament to pardon the last person in Britain to be convicted of witchcraft.

Full Moon Investigations announced it plans to submit a petition to ministers that calls for them to lobby the Home Office to fully pardon Helen Duncan, who was convicted and jailed for witchcraft in 1944, the Edinburgh Evening News reported Monday. Duncan was arrested after conducting seances in locations across Britain, but was allegedly arrested after concerns were raised that she would reveal details of the upcoming D-Day landings.

The organization said it is also working to obtain posthumous pardons for nearly 4,000 people prosecuted, tortured and executed in Scotland under the witchcraft act.

"The pardon of the 4,000 prosecuted as witches is very relevant in today's society," said Full Moon founder Andrea Byrne. "Occupations such as herbalists, acupuncture, midwifery, reiki (spiritual energy therapy) and health foods can all be seen as having roots in the traditions and people who would have been classed as witches in their day."

***

Inmates sue over bland jail food

AURORA, Ill. - Three Kane County, Ill., inmates have filed a $2 million lawsuit, claiming the jailhouse food is "distasteful and disgusting."

A sheriff's department official said officers eat the same food and not one of them has complained, The Beacon News in Aurora reported Monday. However, not only do the three inmates claim the food is often cold and the baked goods "soggy," their suit also contends the calories and nutritional value are "not up to par."

"We can't serve a cajun chicken breast," said Lt. Pat Gengler. "Our officers eat the same food as the inmates, and I have yet to hear an officer complain about soggy cookies or bland food." Meals are somewhat generic because they have to be served to a large, diverse population, he added.

The suit, filed against Sheriff Pat Perez, says the meals are provided by Aramark Food Service. The civil suit was filed in Kane County Court by inmates Michael Nance, Devalius McDonald and Deandre Clemons.

***

Church members do away with complaining

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - Members of a Charlotte, N.C., church have taken a New Year's pledge to halt all complaining for 21 consecutive days.

Rev. Nancy Ennis of the 135-member Unity of Charlotte church said purple rubber bracelets were passed out to her congregation to show they are working to help create "a complaint-free world," the Charlotte Observer reported Monday.

Church members who catch themselves complaining are required to move the bracelet to their opposite wrist and restart their 21 days at the beginning. The program was first used in 2006 by the Rev. Will Bowen at a Unity church in Kansas City, Mo. Bowen's church has since shipped 6 million bracelets worldwide to people who requested them and Bowen authored a book on the subject, "A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted."

Ennis said participants are encouraged to take legitimate grievances to the subject and work their concerns out amicably, rather than simply complain.

"We are here to build up with love," Ennis told her congregation, "not tear down with criticism and complaining."

______________________________

I'm dyslexic, and attended a conference about the disorder with a friend. The speakers asked us to share a personal experience with the group. I told them stress aggravates my condition, in which I reverse words and letters when I'm tense.

When I finished speaking, my friend leaned over and whispered to me, "Now I know why you named your daughter Hannah."

______________________________

DDL

When he's phoning obscenely, old Potts

Gives a spinster who'll listen the hots

By describing how whangs

Shoot a wad during bangs!

He's a kink who likes calling the shots.

______________________________

"Starbucks has canceled its plans to sell a one-dollar cup of coffee. A company spokesman said, 'You'll still be able to get a one-dollar cup of coffee at Starbucks but it's going to cost you eight bucks.'"

-Conan O'Brien

***

"U.S. officials have now approved the first anti-obesity drug for dogs. I'm no veterinarian, but if your dog is over eating, try putting a little less food in the bowl. Do we really need to give him a pill? Is the dog taking your car keys and driving to McDonalds?"

--Jay Leno

***

"How about this? On this very day in 1861, the first elevator was introduced here in New York City. First elevator ever in New York City, or, as we call them now, restrooms. And it took them ten more years to develop the 'ding.'"

--Dave Letterman

______________________________

News from the British Tabloids

South Africa’s Green TV

IN South Africa: “Spending fever has reached all walks of South African life. Here’s a fellow who lives in a squatter camp beyond Somerset West in Western Cape who now wants a television set – a new one, mind, not that second-hand thing in the pawn-shop window – so he buys one from the High Street furniture retailer.”

But he’s back next day, saying the things keeps switching off just at the crucial moment. The shop checks it out and can find nothing wrong, but soon enough he’s back with the same complaint.

This time the shop sends out a technician to pop round to see what the problem is. When the technician gets there, he discovers our guy’s shack draws its electricity from a nearby traffic light, and that the TV only works when the light is green.

Is is pelican crossing?

**********

Oranges calm criminals!

Tough criminals in Holland became less aggressive and had fewer fights when exposed to the scent of oranges, a new study found.

Rotterdam police said the four week study suggested that criminals, many of them violent drug pushers, were calmer and more malleable when the perfumes were circulated through cell air vents.

The head of police social services, Herma Heester, told the Daily Telegraph: "It's amazing, fighting in the cells has been dramatically reduced and we are using 10 per cent fewer sedation drugs."

Rotterdam has one of the highest crime rates in the Netherlands, with violent drug-related crimes accounting for more than half of arrests.

**********

Man drives stolen car to police station

ANDERSON, S.C. - Authorities say a man drove a stolen car to the Anderson County Sheriff's Office to demand the return of nearly $2,000 officers seized from him during a drug arrest last June.

Deputies said after they told Charles Chambers, 36, to leave Tuesday afternoon, an officer noticed he got into a car that matched the description of a vehicle stolen about three hours earlier. Another officer pulled the man over and told him to stop the car. The officer said Chambers stuck a screwdriver in the ignition to shut it off because the vehicle's key switch had been removed.

Authorities say Chambers was charged with possession of a stolen automobile, driving under suspension and a tag violation.

______________________________

Photo News from the British Tabloids....

Tongue artist has a fresh lick of paint

Struggling painters must suffer for their art, slumming it in filthy digs and eating whatever's in the fridge, even if it's not food. But Ani K licks those lightweights – he paints with his tongue and regularly, if not surprisingly, deals with nausea, cramp and headaches.

I don't know if it's art, but I lick it: Ani K with one of his pieces

'First, I tried with my nose but noticed others were already doing it. I thought of giving my tongue a try and succeeded,' the 30-year-old said. 'A few newspapers reported it. I got a good response. Then I made it a regular practice.' Ani devised his technique last year, after seeing another artist paint using his foot.

When he first started, he got severe head and body aches every time he tried to use his tongue. He was sick because of the pungent fumes but has grown immune to the effects, he claimed.

So far, the drawing teacher has finished 20 watercolours including – rather appropriately – a 2.4m (8ft) wide rendering of Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper, featuring Jesus and his disciples. It took him five months to finish.

He now plans to show 150 works in a gallery he is building in his home in Kerala, India. He hopes to be ready in six months because, now his body is used to the unorthodox method, he can complete one canvas in about four days. Already, Ani has works featuring Mahatma Gandhi and Osama bin Laden. He added: 'I'm always looking for something different.'

The artist is not the only one who uses unusual body parts for art.

Di Peel swapped her brushes for breasts to create abstract works, while fellow Australian Tim Patch earned the nickname 'Pricasso' after pioneering the use of his penis to paint. He can only paint for a short time, though.

And Stan Murmur paints with his bottom – but lost his job as an art teacher when he gave a TV interview demonstrating his technique.