Subject: Daily Dose - 080501 - Nekked
as a Jay Bird, BIZARRE NEWS, registrationm DDL, News from the British Tabloids
Grandpa Nekked as a Jay Bird
A young man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"
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BIZARRE NEWS...
Bizarre Legendary Monsters
THE BEAST OF TRURO - As pet cats were found slaughtered in the Cape Cod area of Massachusettes, speculation grew as to whether the beast was a mountain lion even though none existed in the region. Its identity remains a mystery today.
GOATMAN - Described as having the upper body of a human, the legs of a goat and cloven hooves, Goatman has been known to leap out on unsuspecting courting couples parked in lover's lanes in Virginia. It is theorized that the creature was the result of a science experiment on goats that went wrong.
THE JERSEY DEVIL - The story goes that somewhere in the wooded Pine Barrens area of New Jersey lurks a monster with a large horse-like head, wings and a long serpent's body. In 1951, strange screams were heard coming from the woods, which were said to be the cry of the Jersey Devil.
MO-MO - In the summer of 1971, two girls stopped for a picnic near the town of Louisiana, Missouri, when a half-ape half human emerged from some bushes and tried to break into their car. Monster hunts in the area failed to reveal the culprit.
THE FLATHEAD LAKE MONSTER - Visitors to Flathead Lake, Montana, have sometimes spotted something "huge and black" in the water. A major sighting was in 1963 by Ronald Nixon who calculated the creature to be around 25ft long. A reward was offered for the first good photograph of the beast went unclaimed.
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Skydiving spouses cause a stir in Hazelton
HAZELTON, Pa. - In an end to an already unorthodox Hazelton, Pa., wedding, the bride and groom jumped from an airplane nearly two miles above the snow-spattered ground. Jeanie and Jamy Knittle, both 30, were married by Mayor Lou Barletta at Hazleton Municipal Airport before separately skydiving from 10,000 feet, where skydiving expert Don Kellner said the temperature was around zero, the Hazelton Standard Speaker reported Monday.
"It drops about three degrees for every 1,000 feet you're up in the air," he said. "And they were free-falling at 120 mph -- maybe a bit more" until the airfoil opens.
Barletta called the ceremony perhaps one of the most unusual he has performed. "I've married about 200 couples before this and this certainly wasn't your typical wedding," he said.
Barletta said the skydive about 45 minutes after the ceremony made the marriage unusual. "I'm sure my wife would like to see me jump out of an airplane -- without a parachute," he joked.
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Modern-day Rapunzel chops her locks
NEW YORK - A Ukrainian native living in New York had her hair cut for the first time in 45 years Monday.
Darka Jakymchuk, 59, had refused to trim her auburn tresses until they reached her ankles the New York Daily News reported. Having achieved her goal, the Queens woman walked into a salon and left with a giant braid in a gold box.
"It feels so much lighter," said Jakymchuk. "I'm glad it's so curly."
She had not had a serious haircut since 1962 when her father lopped several inches off her waist-skimming do. The longer it grew, the more attached to it she became, even though it took hours to dry. It also had caused some embarrassments, including setting off an airport metal detector because of all the bobby pins she used, and getting caught in the wheel of her office chair and needing a maintenance man to free her.
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Police chief breaks into own office
OLD COLWYN, Wales - A Welsh police chief took his radical antics to the next level when broke into his own office to test the building's security.
Chief Constable Richard Brunstrom tried the break-in because he was concerned about scaffolding going up around the North Wales Police headquarters in Old Colwyn, the Daily Mail reported Monday.
Under the veil of darkness and with the stealth of a cat burglar, Brunstrom climbed the scaffolding then slipped through an open window. Brunstrom apparently told senior officers he wanted to prove how easy it would be for a burglar to enter the building as it undergoes a $6.8 million refurbishment, the British newspaper said.
"His unexpected arrival didn't set off any alarms," a police officer said. "He just walked into an office and told everyone how he got in."
Some of Brunstrom's antics include being shot with a stun gun to prove they're safe, using graphic accident photos to promote driver safety and setting up numerous camera to catch speeders.
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On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the flashing blue lights in my rearview mirror made me realize that I'd been over the limit. I handed the officer my license and made small talk while my wife dug through the glove compartment for the registration.
"I'm usually very careful about my speed," I told him as my wife handed me the paperwork.
The officer studied it and then gave it back. "Sir," he said gruffly, "this is not your registration."
It was a warning ticket I had received for speeding in South Carolina.
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DDL
A passionate lady named Popper,
In heat goes completely improper.
She gets hotter and hotter
Till brawny men totter;
The job's not to start but to stop her.
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"A man is known by the company he avoids."
--Unknown
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"Daddy, Charlie asked me to marry him, but I told him I couldn’t leave Mama."
"Oh, that’s okay. Take her with you."
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"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs."
--Samuel Goldwyn (1882-1974)
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"Tradition is what you get when you don't have the time or the money to do it right."
--Kurt Herbert Adler (1905-1988)
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News from the British Tabloids
Backing for house on moon
A Swedish artist who wants to put a house on the moon has won the backing of his country's space agency
Artist Mikael Genberg, 44, unveiled his red-house-on-the-moon project in 2003 and has now been given the backing of the Swedish Space Corporation. He has already attracted multi-million pound sponsors including car rental firm SiXT, his local county council and Swedish Employment Minister Sven Otto Littorin.
The space agency's Fredrik von Scheele said: "If we manage to do this Sweden will be the third country to stake a claim on the moon."
Genberg said: "It's going to be an unmanned landing, and the house has to be very light, but it will also have to be sturdy enough to remain standing for thousands of years once it's up there. The house will be contained within a package that will be sent up to the moon and once there it will turn itself into a proper structure," Genberg said of the 10 sqm cottage.
He added that he wanted "to prove the impossible is possible" and boost Sweden's sense of national pride.
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Collision cancels 800-pound man's date
By Olga R. Rodriguez, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
MEXICO CITY - When Manuel Uribe went out on a date, he made all the necessary arrangements: a forklift to carry him out of the house and a flatbed tow truck big enough to haul the formerly half-ton man and his bed to a party.
But even the open road wasn't big enough to handle Uribe's dream of celebrating a budding romance and his success in losing about 440 pounds.
Uribe was halfway to a picnic near his Monterrey-area home on Sunday when one of the posts holding a sun-shielding tarp over his bed hit an overpass. Uribe's blood pressure dropped so much that his doctors advised him not to go on and the celebration - being documented by about two dozen photographers and reporters from around the world - was cancelled.
"We were going to celebrate that I've been losing weight for two years and that it was my girlfriend's birthday," Uribe said in a telephone interview. The saddest part was that I couldn't fulfill my dream of taking my girlfriend out to eat."
Uribe says that after losing weight on a high-protein diet he started two years ago, he's down to about 800 pounds. Last year, Uribe left his house for the first time in five years.
Six people pushed his iron bed on wheels out to the street as a mariachi band played and a crowd gathered to see the man who once weighed 1,235 pounds. At the time, the 42-year-old mechanic rode through the streets of his native San Nicolas de los Garza to enjoy the sun and wave to neighbours.
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Shoes too big for coffin
A Romanian man lodged an official complaint after claiming a coffin he bought for a deceased relative was too small. The man, from Piatra Neamt, complained he couldn't close the coffin's lid because the dead man's shoes were too big.
The man, who has not been named by local media, said: "It was a real shock for me and my family when, in front of all the mourners, we could not close the coffin because the shoes wouldn't fit.
"We couldn't bury our relative bare-footed so we had to try harder but you can imagine how embarrassing and disrespectful that felt."
Nicoleta Nica, from the consumer's office in Piatra Neamt, said: "It was the first time we had such a complaint and I have to admit it was strange. Usually the undertaker does the measurements but it seems they forgot about the shoes. We couldn't fine them for that but we noticed the papers were not in order so we had to give them a warning."
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Photo News from the British Tabloids....
Rare anti-masturbation device up for sale
This anti-masturbation device was used in 19th-century Catholic France Collectors are expected to bid up to £3,000 on eBay for an unusual antique – an anti-masturbation device.
The rare copper item was used in 19th-century Catholic France.
It was designed to enclose the genitalia to make sure boys did not commit the 'sin' of masturbation.