Subject: Daily Dose - 080213 - problem
with her check, News from the British Tabloids, lead foot, DDL, Rotten News
A blonde called her new boss to explain there was a problem with her check.
In checking the timesheets the boss noticed that she had not punched in since her first day of orientation. He tried to explain that her check was right since she had only worked the one day for the company. The blonde went on insisting that her check was short, and that the company apparently had problems with their math in figuring out her check.
She asked her boss how many days were in a year. He said there are 365. She asked if he knew how many weeks were in a year. And he replied there are 52.
She went on to say that since there are 52 weeks per year in which she had 2 weekend days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since she was scheduled to work 8 hours a day, she spent 16 hours each day away from work, and that added up 170 days, leaving only 91 days for work. She went on to explain that during the day she spent in company orientation she learned that the company allowed her 30 minutes each day for her two coffee breaks, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days for work.
Orientation also informed her that she would be given a 1-hour lunch each day, which used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. The company also allowed 2 days per year for sick leave, leaving her only 20 days per year to work. The company additionally allowed her to be off 5 holidays per year, bringing her available working time down to 15 days.
Then there were the 14 days vacation the company so generously allowed all employees which leaves only 1 day for her to work .... and well, the boss has already conceded that she did time in and out on her orientation day, so would he please get her check corrected. And if it would be easier for the accounting department ... they could go ahead and make it out for her yearly salary, since she had obviously already put in her share of work for that year.
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News from the British Tabloids....
Tourist slept in shop window bed
An Irish tourist has been arrested in Bulgaria after breaking into a furniture store to sleep in a bed for the night because he couldn't find his hotel.
David Gibbons, 30, was arrested when staff arrived for work to find him snoring away - and he is now facing criminal charges and a fine of up to £2,000.
Gibbons was on holiday at the Bansko ski resort and lost his way after drinking with pals - and rather than checking into another hotel he broke into the furniture store by forcing open the door.
He was woken up the next morning by cops who were called in when staff turned up to find him in one of their showroom beds.
A police spokesman said: "He was furious when officers tried to get him out of his bed, we believe he had been drinking. It took him a long time to realise where he actually was."
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Man found £200 inside fish
A Chinese man found £200 in the belly of a rotten fish his dog had found in the rubbish.
Mr Wang, of Huichun city, says he noticed his dog enjoying a fish, and, curious, decided to check it out.
"I lifted the fish, and saw it was already rotting. But then a package wrapped in oily paper dropped out," he told the City Evening.
"I used a stick to poke the package to make sure it wasn't a prank or something."
Wang says that when he saw money inside, he couldn't believe his eyes. The money came to 3,000 yuan, nearly £200.
"The fish must have been given to someone as a present. But I guess they didn't know about the money," he added.
Wang says he will return the money if anyone can correctly identify the colour and other characteristics of the package.
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Belgium up for sale on eBay
Internet auction site eBay has removed an unusual lot - the country of Belgium.
Bidding had reached 10 million euro before eBay withdrew the spoof sale, reports GVA.
It was put up for sale by former journalist Gerrit Six who wanted to protest that Belgium still had no government, 100 days after its elections.
The advert said: "Belgium a kingdom in three parts. Possible to buy it as a whole, but not advisable.
"Possible the three parts separately but beware of the public debt of 300 million euro."
Bidding started at one euro and reached 10 million euro after 26 bids before eBay removed it from the site.
Peter Burin, a spokesman for eBay said: "We can't allow bidding on something virtual or unrealistic. People must be able to buy and sell on eBay in a neutral way."
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Manilow forced on noisy neighbours
A US judge is punishing noisy neighbours - by forcing them to listen to Barry Manilow.
Also on Judge Paul Sacco's punishment playlist are The Carpenters, Dolly Parton and Barney The Purple Dinosaur.
Offenders who break the noise laws in the Colorado city of Fort Lupton have to listen to the music - loud - for one hour.
Judge Sacco explained: "When you have a person playing rap at extreme volumes all over the city, and they have to sit down and listen for an hour to Barry Manilow, it's a horrible punishment."
One offender, Luis Cano, told TV station CBS4 that "at about 20 minutes into it, I was trying not to fall asleep".
Judge Sacco says offenders who go through the Manilow procedure, which takes place about four times a year, rarely re-offend.
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Yorkshire boy talks posh after op
A Yorkshire boy who had a brain op after suffering meningitis woke up talking like a southern toff.
William McCartney-Moore's family were stunned when the 10-year-old York lad started chatting like a member of the Royal Family.
Mum Ruth, 45, told The Sun: "He went in with a Yorkshire accent and came out all posh.
"He no longer has short 'a' vowel sounds - they are all long in words like 'bath'. We couldn't believe it because he had a northern accent before his illness. He just thinks he is speaking normally."
William was struck down with a rare form of meningitis. He was in hospital for 13 months but has now recovered and is back at school. The op affected a part of his brain that controls speech.
William can also now play the trumpet and piano better than he did before the op.
Music teacher Ruth said: "He lost everything after the surgery. William couldn't read or write and his speech was bizarre."
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My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.
"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.
"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"
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DDL
A nasty man, Old Ebeneezer,
Was mean to his wife, the old geezer.
She said, without bitchin',
"Come into the kitchen."
(You'll find the old boy in the freezer.)
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"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."
--Bertrand Russell
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On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond a "blue, four-door sedan."
"It's the one on fire," he replied.
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"My ten year old daughter asked me what a colon was and I explained that it was a part of the body that food goes through before being eliminated. Then she asked me what a semicolon was and I told her that it was a colon the size of a truck with eighteen wheels."
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Rotten News.... (true)
Eat more chocolate and help the environment
Wed Nov 7, 4:28 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - Chocoholics can assuage any guilt they may feel after a new process was developed that turns the by-products of making chocolate into a biofuel -- meaning you can eat your chocolate and be eco-friendly.
A truck, fuelled by the biofuel, will set out from Poole on the English south coast to Mali in West Africa later this month on a charity mission.
"The chocolate waste used to be used in landfill. But now we can make it travel as biofuel," said organiser Andy Pag who will be one of the two drivers on the trip.
North western English firm Ecotec has taken waste from the chocolate manufacturing process, turned it into bio-ethanol and mixed it with vegetable oil to produce biodiesel.
Some biofuels have come under fire for either diverting much-needed food crops or leading to massive deforestation as land is cleared to grow crops specially for biofuel production.
"This is to show that you can have environmentally-friendly biofuels and that you don't have to convert normal diesel engines to use it," Pag told Reuters.
But vehicles using the novel product will not exude the sweet smell of success. "No! I'm afraid the exhaust doesn't smell of chocolate," said Pag.
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Court rules employee worked to death
Fri Nov 30, 12:18 PM ET
TOKYO (Reuters) - A Toyota Motor Corp employee died of overwork after logging more than 106 hours of overtime in a month, a judge ruled Friday, reversing a ministry's earlier decision not to pay compensation to his widow.
The Toyota Labor Standards Inspection office, a local branch of Japan's labor ministry, refused to pay the widow the usual compensation for a spouse's work-related death, saying the man had only logged 45 hours of overtime in the month before he died, Japanese media reported.
But the court ruled that the employee had worked far more than that, said Yomiuri Online, a Japanese news website. The Nagoya District Court in central Japan said the ruling overturned the labor ministry's decision.
The employee, who was working at a Toyota factory in central Japan, died of irregular heartbeat in February 2002 after passing out in the factory around 4 a.m.
Overworking is a serious issue in Japan, where an average worker uses less than 50 percent of paid holidays, according to government data.
In fiscal year 2005-2006, the labor ministry received 315 requests for compensation from the bereaved families of workers who died of strokes and other illnesses seen as work-related.
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Show seeks to love match migrants and U.S. citizens
Sun Dec 2, 4:07 AM ET
PHOENIX (Reuters) - A Los Angeles company is touting a new reality game show called "Who Wants to Marry a U.S. Citizen" that aims to create televised matrimony between legal citizens and immigrants who have temporary visas.
The show's backers at Morusa Media hope to make a sort of love match between reality TV and a national obsession with immigration. But the producers make no promise that a marriage will occur or lead to U.S. citizenship.
Show creator Adrian Martinez said that Morusa Media has not yet found a network to produce or air the show, but he is currently in talks with one cable TV network and already has signed up contestants for six episodes.
"It's this generation's 'Dating Game,' but with a twist -- it aims to show love knows no borders," Martinez told Reuters.
As in the "Dating Game," which ran on network TV for more than two decades starting in the 1960s, a single U.S. citizen gets to ask contestants various questions. Toward the end of the show, he or she decides which one to select as a potential mate.
So far, most of the contestants are Hispanic immigrants, although at least one is from the Philippines, Martinez said.
In a statement, Morusa said that while it does not guarantee marriage or legal status, it will pay for a wedding party and honeymoon should a marriage result.
"We're just out to play matchmaker," said the show's host, Angelo Gonzales. "There are thousands of U.S. citizens seeking a spouse, and just as many immigrants seeking the same. So we want to make it a win-win situation for all involved."
Reuters/Nielsen
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Photo News from the British Tabloids....
Meet the world’s smallest bodybuilder!
This 2ft 9in Indian would kick your ass if he could reach it
Jebediah Springfield, the founder of The Simpsons’ home town, famously declared that ‘a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man’ (and yes, ‘embiggens’ is a perfectly cromulent word). The living embodiment of this sentiment can be found in the world’s smallest bodybuilder, Aditya ‘Romeo’ Dev.
According to the fine journalists at The Daily Mail, crowds flock to see Romeo blast his guns on a daily basis in his hometown of Phagwara, India, and he regularly lifts 1.5kg dumbbells, despite only weighing in at 9.05kg himself.
In a brief break from his hectic schedule of maxing the envelope, Romeo said: “I’ve been training as a bodybuilder for the last two years and by now I think I must be the strongest dwarf in the world. I have always been fit but since I started working out I have become famous for my strength.”
The nineteen-year-old and his trainer Ranjeet Pal are making good money through dance and bodybuilding shows, but being rich is not one of Romeo’s goals.
“My dream is to travel a lot - I want to perform in London with my idol, Jazzy-B.”
Unfortunately for the little guy, Jazzy B is a UK music producer, who has nothing to do with the world of body building.