Subject: Daily Dose - 080122 - $25, BIZARRE NEWS, harpist, DDL, Rotten News

George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off.

Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

"Harriet, she's a prostitute."

"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"

"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to room 1217.

"Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?"

Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.

George asked, "How much do you charge?"

"$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."

Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25."

Bambi laughed derisively, "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."

"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye."

After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!"

George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."

At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

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BIZARRE NEWS...

Bizarre Buildings

The Ice Hotel at Jukkasjarvi, Swedish Lapland, offers the ultimate in cold comfort - a building constructed out of ice where the average room temperature is minus four degrees centigrade. The beds are made from packed snow topped with spruce boughs and reindeer skins. The hotel melts every April and has to be rebuilt the following winter.

The six-story Elephant Hotel at Margate, New Jersey, is in the shape of a huge elephant, complete with trunk and tusks. It was built in 1881 by James V. Lafferty as a real-estate promotion. The 65ft-high concrete elephant, named Lucy, was used as a tavern before being converted into a hotel. The reception area is in her hind legs and a staircase in each leg leads up to the main rooms.

The Pineapple Lodge stands in Dunmore Park, Central Scotland. The lower part of the building is an ordinary octagonal tower but from the tops of the columns sprout stone, spiky leaves, transforming it into a 53ft-high pineapple. It was built in 1761 at the request of the Fourth Earl of Dunmore for reasons known only to himself.

Sir Thomas Tresham was obsessed with the power of numbers and in 1597 ordered the building of a triangular lodge at Rushton, Northamptonshire, in which everything relates to the number three - a homage to the Trinity. It has three sides, each of which measures 33ft, three gables on each side, three stories and triangular or hexagonal rooms decorated with trefoils or triangles in groups of three. All of the Latin inscriptions have 33 letters.

The Crocodile Hotel near Ayers Rock in the heart of the Australian outback is a building complex in the shape of a crocodile. The 'eyes' protrude from the reception area, the rooms run along the 'body' to the 'tail' and the hotel swimming pool is located in the creature's 'alimentary canal.'

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Clumsy moose takes out telephone service

OSLO, Norway - Thousands of homes in Norway's Sor-Helgeland district were left without telephone service because a moose ravaged a switching station. The moose destroyed the box containing the switching equipment, cutting telecommunication services in the district, Aftenposten reported Friday.

The accident, which occurred earlier in the week, shut down telephone and broadband Internet connections over a wide area. The switching station and all the telephone and broadband connections were reportedly repaired by late Thursday, said telecom company Telenor.

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Tribe apologizes for cannibal ancestors

RABAUL, Papua New Guinea - Descendants of a tribe in Papua New Guinea have apologized for the killing and eating of four Fijian missionaries in 1878.

Fiji's high commissioner in the country, Ratu Isoa Tikoca, accepted the apologies, saying: "We at this juncture are deeply touched and wish you the greatest joy of forgiveness as we finally end this record disagreement."

The apology was made at a reconciliation ceremony near Rabaul in front of thousands of people Wednesday, Australia's Melbourne Herald Sun reported. Tolai tribesmen killed and ate a Fijian minister and three teachers, who were under the leadership of the Rev. George Brown of Britain, in 1878, said The (London) Telegraph.

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Fire ends teens' attempt to lose virginity

A TEENAGE couple having sex for the first time were interrupted when candles set fire to the girl's attic bedroom and forced them to flee naked from her parents' house, German daily Bild reported today.

The girl had wanted to create a romantic atmosphere for the occasion. But when the room suddenly became engulfed with flames, they had to make a hasty escape.

The couple, both 18, were pictured naked in the paper among the burned wreckage of the attic. A charred teddy had survived but the fire wrecked the entire top floor of the house causing around ($172,410) worth of damage.

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Bullet-proof backpack latest for kids

DANVERS, Mass. - New for this U.S. schoolchildren this fall -- stylish yet functional -- it's a backpack with a bulletproof lining.

The item is being marketed by MJ Safety Solutions, a company founded by Mike Pelonzi and Joe Curran of Massachusetts.

"I'm a parent and so is Joe and we wanted a way of keeping kids safe at school and this is what we came up with," Pelonzi told The Staten Island Advance.

The company sells two sizes, one for books and the other for laptop computers. Both have a light metal plate sewn into the back, guaranteed to stop bullets although weighing no more than a bottle of water.

The MJ Solutions Web site says there have been 328 school shootings since 1999, with 229 dead and 422 injured.

"In almost 97 percent of these documented incidents, MJ Safety Solutions' backpack could have provided the ballistic protection that could have saved lives," the site claims.

The makers say the backpacks will also protect against knives and other weapons.

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My friend Monica is an accomplished harpist, who frequently plays for weddings, reception, parties, and other such events. She is also blond and has an appropriately cherubic face.

She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel, and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray- haired man stepped on.

As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "And just how far up are you going?"

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DDL

A buck with two does and a fawn,

Relieved themselves on the back lawn,

Which can give one a pause,

For reflection, because,

They're making the yard a deer john.

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Discussion

Have you heard that Hillary, after meeting with George W., held a press conference and said they agreed on 60% of what they discussed?

When asked what they discussed, Hillary replied, "We were talking about The Ten commandments."

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Military Acronyms Involving The F Word  

figmo - f*ck it, got my orders  

fubab - f*cked up beyond all belief  

fubar - f*cked up beyond all recognition/repair  

fumtu - f*cked up more than usual  

snafu - situation normal, all f*cked up  

tarfu - things are really f*cked up  

janfu - joint army-navy f*ckup.  

gfu -   general f*ck-up  

samfu - self-adjusting military f*ck-up  

sapfu - surpassing all previous f*ck-ups  

susfu - situation unchanged, still f*cked-up  

WOFTAM - Waste Of f*cking Time And Money  

RTFM -   Read the f*cking Manual

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Rotten News....  (true)

Neorhinos promise weekly orgasms, marijuana for all

Thursday, November 8, 2007 | 4:12 PM ET

Canadian Press: Alexander Panetta, THE CANADIAN PRESS

OTTAWA - Talk about a party platform.

The Rhinos are back and they're hoping to lure voters with the tantalizing promise of weekly orgasms - and marijuana in every pot. The Neorhino party promises to declare Spanish as Canada's official language and pass legislation forcing Prime Minister Stephen Harper to go on a diet.

They're proud of smoking pot, they draw their political inspiration from cigar-chomping comics and rock legends, and they want to get elected so they can stick it to "The Man."

The new party - officially called neorhino.ca - is one of at least two groups claiming to be a reincarnation of the defunct Rhinocerous party that specialized in political satire. Like the old Rhinos, the party has no clear political ideology except for two deep beliefs: something's seriously wrong with the state of modern politics, and Canadian public discourse could use a lot more fun.

"We are a Marxist-Lennonist party - based on the philosophy of Groucho Marx and John Lennon," said party president Francois Gourd.

He calls himself "Yo" Gourd, which in French sounds just like "yogurt." He strode to the podium in the news-conference room near the House of Commons on Thursday sporting a cloth rhinoceros horn on his head.

The original Rhinos were founded in 1963 by Quebec author Jacques Ferron, and reached the pinnacle of their success in the 1980 election where they received 110,000 votes - or 1.01 per cent of the popular vote.

Among its other campaign planks: Replace soldiers' weapons with paintball guns; Create a national gas-barbecue registry; and replace the Defence Department with a Ministry of Laughter.

Beneath the thick veneer of gags, the party raises a serious point: people are so disenchanted with politics that almost 40 per cent of Canadians no longer bother voting in federal elections.

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Aussie voters said to prefer seeing Labor leader nude

Sat Nov 10, 11:53 PM ET

MELBOURNE (Reuters) - More Australian voters would like to see Labor Opposition leader Kevin Rudd naked than their current prime minister, John Howard, a poll showed on Sunday just two weeks out from a hard-fought general election.

The question was posed in a Galaxy poll of 1,200 voters and published in Zoo magazine, the Australian Associated Pres reported. The survey found 34 percent of respondents wanted to see Rudd, 50, with his gear off, more than double the 16 percent who said the same thing about Howard, 68.

Even Howard's usually strong following among the over 50s slipped, with the poll showing just 16 percent wanted to see him naked compared with 27 percent for Rudd.

"No one wants a prime minister who doesn't look good naked," Zoo editor Paul Merrill was quoted as saying.

(Reporting by Victoria Thieberger, editing by Roger Crabb)

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Coach blames stadium for poor record

Sat Nov 10, 9:32 PM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) - Cologne coach Christoph Daum has come up with a novel explanation for the second division side's failure to win promotion to top flight since he arrived a year ago -- the stadium is to blame.

"This isn't a football stadium," Daum, whose team is sixth in the division and three places away from a promotion spot, told reporters. "It's a torture chamber. There are things that happen here that you can't explain."

Daum signed a 3-1/2 year contract last November. He is believed to be one of the best-paid coaches in Germany, earning a reported 2.5 million euros (1.8 million pounds) a year at the club that was long a Bundesliga power but has fallen on hard times in recent years.

Cologne were in 10th place when he took over a year ago and ended up ninth.

The 51,000-seat Cologne stadium, which dates to 1923, was rebuilt between 2001 and 2003. There were five World Cup matches played in the stadium, including a 2-2 draw between England and Sweden on June 20, 2006.

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Photo News from the British Tabloids....

Amazing Coincidences…

Mystery Monk

In 19th century Austria, a near-famous painter named Joseph Aigner attempted suicide on several occasions. During his first attempt to hang himself at the age of 18, a mysterious Capuchin monk interrupted Aigner.

And again at age 22, the very same monk prevented him from hanging himself. Eight years later, he was sentenced to the gallows for his political activities. But again, his life was saved by the intervention of the same monk.

At age 68, Joseph Aigner finally succeeded in suicide, using a pistol to shoot himself. Not surprisingly, the very same Capuchin monk - a man whose name Aigner never even knew, conducted his funeral ceremony.

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Photographic Coincidence

A German mother who photographed her infant son in 1914 left the film to be developed at a store in Strasbourg. In those days some film plates were sold individually. World War I broke out and unable to return to Strasbourg, the woman gave up the picture for lost.

Two years later she bought a film plate in Frankfurt, over 100 miles away, to take a picture of her newborn daughter. When developed the film turned out to be a double exposure, with the picture of her daughter superimposed on the earlier picture of her son.

Through some incredible twist of fate, her original film, never developed, had been mislabeled as unused, and had eventually been resold to her.

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Book Find

In 1973, actor Anthony Hopkins agreed to appear in “The Girl From Petrovka”, based on a novel by George Feifer. Unable to find a copy of the book anywhere in London, Hopkins was surprised to discover one lying on a bench in a train station.

It turned out to be George Feifer’s own annotated (personal) copy, which Feifer had lent to a friend, and which had been stolen from his friend’s car.