Subject: Daily Dose - 080107 - Sheep
for sale, News from the British Tabloids, educational toy, DDL, Rotten News
I called the local newspaper's classified section to complain about an ad I'd placed.
It was obvious the person who took my information had never spent any time on a farm.
"I said 'ewes,'" I argued.
"Pardon?" replied the operator.
"Ewes. It makes a difference to some people."
The ad that was placed read: "Sheep for sale - USED."
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News from the British Tabloids....
Man gets Puff tattooed on penis
A tattoo enthusiast has had Puff The Magic Dragon etched on to his penis.
John Bevan's artwork, which extends from his belly to his lower back, took 85 hours to complete.
The 63-year-old, from South Wales, joked: 'It was painful but worth it. You can't see much when it's asleep but it's a monster when it's awake!'
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Twins have different dads
A Chinese man is suing for divorce after discovering that he is the father of only one of his twins.
Liu Yuan of Nanjing city says he noticed the difference between the babies the day they were born, reports Longhu Network.
"The baby that came out first was much bigger than the second, who was very weak and sickly," he said.
Liu says he started to be suspicious when the smaller baby turned out to have a different blood type, along with the fact that it doesn't look like him.
Liu had his own and the two babies' DNA tested - and discovered that he was the biological father of only the bigger twin.
"My wife admitted that she'd had sex with her former boyfriend after we got married," he said.
Doctors explain that it's quite rare, but possible, since a man's sperm can survive for 72 hours in a woman's body
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Parking chief sacked for illegal parking
This picture has nothing to do with the story, but it is of a car doing something illegal on the Spanish Steps in Rome, so it's pretty close Rome's mayor sacked the city's traffic and parking chief on Sunday after a newspaper reported he parked his car in a no parking zone and displayed a handicapped permit that belonged to an 86-year old woman.
Giovanni Catanzaro parked his red Alfa Romeo Brera in a tow away zone near the Spanish Steps in central Rome before heading off to a restaurant on Friday night, Roman daily Il Messaggero reported on Sunday, complete with pictures from the scene.
His car displayed a permit for disabled drivers that was no longer valid and initially issued to a senior citizen, the paper said, noting that officials almost never tow away a disabled person's vehicle no matter where it is parked.
A spokesman for Rome Mayor Walter Veltroni said Catanzaro had been removed from his post as head of the city's municipal police force that oversees traffic and parking violations after the newspaper report.
Rome has a series of restrictions on driving and parking along many of its narrow, cobblestoned streets, though parking illegally - often on sidewalks and crosswalks - is a common sight across the city.
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Our ssson sssleeps with hisss sssnake
The struggle to find that perfect pet for their child can send some mothers and fathers loopy.
Luckily for the parents of six-year- old Sambath Uon, his best friend slithered right into his lap.
The boy refuses to go to bed without the 6m (20ft) Burmese python named Lucky.
'I love the python like my sister,' said Sambath. 'All my friends are jealous of her.'
When Lucky first slunk into the Cambodian village, she was 50cm (20in) long and Sambath was just three months old.
His parents tried to return it to the forest three times but she kept coming back.
Sambath's mother, Kim Kanara, said: 'We would find it asleep next to Sambath. They have slept together every night for the past six years.
'She is a member of the family now. We shelter, feed, bathe and even pray to her.' Lucky, or Chomreun in Khmer, is thought to have healing powers.
Mrs Kanara added: 'Some recovered from sickness after being blessed by her.'
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Two Women One Cup: Grandmother Ethel McEwan Saved By Ingesting Daughter’s Turds
Now we learn of a grandmother who contracted a potentially fatal superbug. She was saved by ingesting her daughter’s poo.
Ethel McEwan, an 83-year-old from Scotland, contracted Clostridium Difficile, the Daily Record reports.
But she survived after her daughter Winnifred gave her a “faecal transplant” - a sample turd is liquidised and fed down a tube into the patient’s stomach. The treatment restores bacteria to a level that can aid the recovery process.
“When you tell people about the treatment, they wrinkle their noses,” says Mrs McEwan. “But it’s not like they put it on a plate and have you eat it. You don’t ever see or smell a thing.
“People will have a blood transplant or a kidney transplant – what’s the difference with this?”
Why tell her? What’s to gain?
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The young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy.
"Isn't it rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk.
"It's designed to ease the tot into living in today's world, madam," the shop assistant replied. "Any way he tries to put it together is wrong."
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DDL
An ingenious young fellow named Herman,
Tied a bow on the end of his worm, and
His wife said, "How festive!",
But he said, "Don't be restive -
You'll wriggle it off with your squirmin'."
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"New York City now has a major rat problem. You have no idea how big these rats are until you go to Central Park and take a ride in one of our rat drawn carriages."
--Dave Letterman
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"The lady at the bank asked, 'What do you want on your checks, wildlife, scenery?' I said, 'I want a picture of a big, thick-necked guy on my checks. A bouncer - that's what my checks are going to be.'"
-Bob Kubota
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"No matter how much money you make, you always need an extra $40 a week. I'm sure it was Einstein who first stated: Expense equals salary plus forty bucks."
-Jeffrey Jena
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"I fell in love once, and I thought she fell in love with me too. Are you familiar with the situation? I sat with an engagement ring, waiting for an answer. I was a single guy with an engagement ring. It was like having a loaded gun laying around the house. I was frightened I'd marry somebody by accident."
-Jake Johannsen
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My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
--Ashleigh Brilliant
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He who blows the coals in a quarrel that he has nothing to do with has no right to complain if sparks fly in his face.
--Benjamin Franklin
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Rotten News.... (true)
Shooter says he mistook cow for coyote
Thu Nov 22, 7:26 PM ET
COLFAX TOWNSHIP, Mich. - A man says he shot and killed a neighbor's cow after mistaking it for a coyote.
Authorities and the owner are skeptical.
The undersheriff in northern Michigan's Benzie County says he doesn't see how anyone could confuse a 1,400-pound, pregnant cow with a coyote, which typically weighs 20 to 45 pounds.
And anyway, shooting coyotes is illegal during deer-shooting season. Authorities asked the county prosecutor to bring charges.
The 42-year-old man told authorities he was out to shoot coyotes near his home Saturday when he killed the cow, Undersheriff Rory Heckman said. Heckman said the man then tried to drag the cow home.
"The part of his story he his holding to is he shot at a coyote. I don't know how he hit a several-thousand-pound cow mistaking it for a coyote," Heckman said.
The cow, named Hannah, had wandered away from her farm.
"My husband thought that he should go through some therapy looking at repeated pictures of cows and coyotes, because they look nothing alike," said owner DeAnn Mosher. "It didn't make any sense to me."
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Indian villager marries daughter
Tue Nov 20, 2:13 AM ET
KOLKATA, India (Reuters) - A villager in eastern India married his teenage daughter on grounds that he was following divine instructions, police said on Tuesday.
Afazuddin Ali, 36, appeared before a court on Monday after villagers in West Bengal complained that he had confessed to marrying his daughter, who was now pregnant, six months ago. But he was released because police had filed the wrong charges.
Police said they would try to bring new charges against him.
"This is a very strange case as no one in the family has complained, but we will conduct medical tests to verify the girl's exact age, before filing a strong case against her father," said Ravinder Jit Singh Nalwa, a senior police officer.
"She has never been to school as well and seems clearly terrified," Nalwa said on Tuesday.
Ali, a daily wage labourer, showed no sign of remorse after he was released from court.
"I have not committed any crime, don't you see it was God's will," a police officer quoted him as saying.
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School textbooks, rife with errors, tentatively approved
04:07 PM CST on Friday, November 16, 2007
By TERRENCE STUTZ / The Dallas Morning News
AUSTIN – Proposed math books for elementary school children and their teachers have resulted in one computation that publishers would just as soon erase – 109,263.
That's the number of errors that were uncovered in proposed math textbooks that are under review by the State Board of Education for distribution to schools in the fall of 2008.
The total number of errors was nearly five times the total for last year, thanks to one publisher whose books contained more than 86,000 errors – 79 percent of the total.
Publishers will have until the spring to clean their books up. After that, they can be fined up to $5,000 for every error that makes it into the final editions of books shipped to Texas schools.
Students may wish some of the errors had not been uncovered – particularly the inclusion in some books of the answers to math quizzes at the end of each chapter. The answers were supposed to appear only in teacher editions of the books.
In other cases, Spanish versions of the books had incorrect translations. And some computations were just wrong.
Despite the errors, state board members tentatively approved most of the books for use in public schools beginning next fall – subject to correction of the errors. Total projected cost for the elementary school math books is $116.8 million.
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Photo News from the British Tabloids....
Tumour man has second face operation
Huang Chuncai poses before his second tumour operation
Huang Chuncai underwent his second operation to remove the tumours, which currently weigh around 10kg (22lbs), at a hospital in Guangzhou, in southern China's Guangdong province, on January 3.
Huang, a 32-year-old native from a remote village in China's southern province of Hunan, said he is relieved after parts of his facial tumours, which originally weighed about 23kg, were removed in July last year.
Huang eats in his ward before his operation
His second operation will remove another section of the tumours, weighing 4.5kg.
Huang suffers from Neurofibromatosis, which is a genetic disorder of the nervous system that primarily affects the development and growth of nerve tissues.
Huang resting before the operation
His facial tumour first became noticeable when he was just 4 years old, the hospital said in July. Since then it grew larger at an ever faster rate, blocking his left eye, pushing his left ear to shoulder level, knocking out his teeth and deforming his backbone.