Subject: Daily Dose - 070529 - Whiskey, News Stories from the British
Tabloids, Magic Wand, DDL, Rotten News
Attitude Toward Whiskey
A Congressman was once asked about
his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the
mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm
against it."
"But if you mean the elixir of
Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts
needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm
for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
______________________________
News Stories from the British
Tabloids
Dropped footballer ploughs up pitch
A Serbian football player ploughed
up his club's pitch with a tractor in revenge for being dropped from the team.
Midfielder Slavomir Milnovic, 25,
was furious when he found he'd been dropped from local amateur side FC Mramor,
near Nis in southern Serbia.
He took a tractor from his family's
farm and churned up the pitch so no one else could play.
Milnovic was arrested and charged
with damaging private property after people living nearby heard the tractor and
called police.
***
Pensioner sues over sex marathon
A retired Polish teacher is suing
the organisers of a world record sex session after they forgot to pixelate his
face.
Leszek Szwerowski, 61, was spotted
standing in line to take part in the contest organised as part of the World Sex
Championships in 2003.
The contest involved three young
women having sex with as many men as they could over the course of several
hours.
But Szwerowski, from Warsaw, said
the company behind the event, Pink-Press, reneged on promises to keep his
identity secret and hide his face on film.
He said he was left embarrassed when
his young nephew saw him on a later DVD of the event and told the rest of his
family.
He said: "I was told that the
faces of the participants would be blurred on the computer on which the film
was saved. But this was not the case."
Szwerowski is demanding £2,500 in
damages.
***
Woman swallowed lover's false teeth
A Romanian woman needed medical help
after she swallowed her lover's false teeth during a moment of passion.
The 38-year-old woman, from Galati,
went to hospital with stomach pains claiming she had swallowed a foreign object
but without saying what it was.
Doctors were surprised when the
x-ray showed false teeth in her stomach.
Eventually she admitted she gulped
down the denture while experimenting a 'special type of passionate kiss' with
her boyfriend.
After spending two days in hospital,
the foreign object left the woman's body the natural way.
***
Escaped prisoner 'missed mates'
An escaped convict turned up at his
old prison and asked to be let back in because he was missing his mates.
Bulgarian thief Vassil Ivanov, 37,
had been on the run since disappearing during an Easter break at home in 2005.
He said: "I couldn't stand it
any more. I had been inside for nine years and I just couldn't get used to life
on the outside again. I missed my pals here and I was miserable being a free
man."
Wardens at the Stara Zagora prison
in Bulgaria immediately took Ivanov back into the prison where he will serve
the remaining two years of his 11 year sentence, and is likely to serve extra
time for escaping.
______________________________
Magic Wand
Little Sandy was with her father
when they stopped by the beauty shop to pick-up her Mom. She wasn't quite
ready, so they sat down and waited.
Without any warning, Sandy goes over
to her mom's stylist and blurts out, "My Daddy says you're a fairy. May I
see your magic wand?"
______________________________
DDL
Once a young lady from Yew,
Was dozing one day in her pew.
When the preacher yelled "Sin!"
She said, "Count me in!
As soon as the service is through!"
______________________________
"Scientists say they have
located the gene that causes obesity. Yeah. His name is Gene Millman and he
invented Krispy Kreme douighnuts."
-Conan O'Brien
***
"There's a rumor that Jennifer
Lopez broke up with Marc Anthony. Yeah. And today's rumor: She's dating Julius
Caesar."
-Craig Ferguson
***
"Here's a great story: A guy in
Alaska goes fishing and he catches a 90-year-old fish, a 90-year-old fish. You
know, I look at it this way - if I want a 90-year-old fish, I'll just order the
seafood platter at Red Lobster."
-Dave Letterman
______________________________
Rotten News.... (true)
March 23, 2007
Baring for rights' reason
By ROBYN STUBBS
The day an Ontario woman was
convicted of indecent exposure for going topless in public, Linda Meyer vowed
to prove women's constitutional right to bare their breasts.
That was 15 years ago, and since
then the Maple Ridge resident has been making top-free appearances at public
swimming pools across the Lower Mainland.
In the process, she's become very
familiar with police handcuffs and constitutional law, setting a judicial
precedent in B.C. Supreme Court in 2000 that it is not illegal to go top-free
in B.C.
"I went from the swimming pool
to the police department to jail to court for 10 straight years," she
said, all to prove her right to go top-free in public.
But, after a run-in with the
Vancouver Police Department last year, "my law is under attack," she
says. "Now, I guess I have to go pool by pool again - whatever it
takes."
Meyer has made quite a name for
herself here in B.C., but her relentless top-free activism is well recognized
beyond the border as well.
"Linda Meyer is the most
successful top-free activist in North America in that she has won more court
cases than any other activist," says Paul Rapaport, of the Top-free Equal
Rights Association based in Ontario.
**********
Tatt-wooed at last
A Norfolk man is to finally marry a
woman whose name he had tattooed on his arm 32 years ago.
Andy Cheeseman's decision to
proclaim his love for Annette Law as a 17-year-old appeared somewhat rash when
they split up before she had even seen it.
After more than two decades and two
broken marriages the couple got back together again after a chance reunion
through Friends Reunited and Annette was finally able to see the tattoo for the
first time.
Andy, 49, of Gorleston, said:
"It's very emotional."
**********
Maturing cheese becomes Internet
star
Thu Apr 26, 9:08 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - A large English
cheddar cheese has become a star of the Internet, attracting more than 1
million viewers to sit and stare at it as it slowly ripens.
First placed in front of a webcam in
late December, the Westcombe cheddar from West Country Farmhouse Cheesemakers
leaped to public attention in early February and has since attracted viewers
from 119 countries.
"The hits went over 1 million
this morning. It has been a real challenge keeping the cheese up and running
with all the interest it has generated," a spokesman for the company
running the website, www.cheddarvision.tv,
said Wednesday.
Watchers have tuned in from as far
afield as Albania and New Zealand, although most are from the United States
where a school has even sent in pictures of two crocodiles to guard the cheese.
"The whole idea was to show
people how real food is made -- and it seems to be working," cheesemaker
Tom Calver said. "It takes a year for the cheese to mature. This is not
fast food. It is slow food."
************
Rooftop romp watched by thousands
A video of two lovers caught in the
act on top of a London building has spread like wildfire on the internet.
Staff at Soho production company,
MJZ, filmed the pair and posted the video on YouTube, reports the Sun.
The 'Sex and the City' clip has
already received thousands of hits from all over the world on the video sharing
site.
A producer at MJZ said she was
shocked to look out from her 2nd floor window and spot the pair engaged in
their sunshine romp. She said: "I was working away and looked up and saw
this bloke and a girl in the doggie position going at it on top of a building
across the road.
"I couldn't believe it, I
started laughing and shouted to a couple of my colleagues and then one of the
girls grabbed a camera and began filming it."
During the 30-second clip a male
voice says "this is insane" before a female screams "how can
they not think everyone's looking?"
The MJZ staffer added: "It was
brilliant afternoon entertainment but I bet they are regretting it now. They
are the laughing stock of London."
It is believed the pair were on top of the Windmill Theatre building in Great Windmill Street but their identities are unknown. The Windmill International, an upmarket table top dancing club in Great Windmill Street, denied their staff were involved.