Subject: Daily Dose - 070528 - Right and Wrong, BIZARRE NEWS, New Meat'Normous Sandwich, DDL, Rotten News

Right and Wrong

When I was in high school, Joel, a buddy of mine & I where discussing a girl from French class we had both befriended.  Her family had recently relocated to the metro area from a farm way out in the sticks.

We both agreed that we'd never met a sweeter girl before, but she was too naive and trusting.

Joel said, "Listen, for her own good, and as her friends, we've got to teach her quickly what's right & what's wrong."

I replied, "Agreed!  You teach her what's right."

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BIZARRE NEWS...

Bizarre Execution FACTS

The last public execution in America was the hanging of a 22-year-old black man named Rainey Bethea. He was executed at Owensboro, KY, in 1936 after being convicted of killing a 70-year-old white women. Twenty thousand people showed up to witness the execution.

The last person hanged in the U.S. for being a pirate was Capt. Nathaniel Gordon, in New York City on March 8, 1862. Gordon had been smuggling slaves into the US.

The last person to be burned at the stake was Phoebe Harrius. Harrius was convicted of coining false money and was burned at the stake in front of Newgate Prison in England in 1786.

The last public execution by guillotine was on June 17, 1939. Eugen Weidman was executed before a large crowd in Versailles, France. The last nonpublic use of the guillotine in France, at Baumetes Prison, in Marsailles, was the execution of convicted murderer Hamida Djandoubi, a Tunisian immigrant, on September 10, 1977.

During WWII Private Eddie Slovik was tried by court-martial and sentenced to death for desertion. He was shot by his own unit, the 28th Infantry Division, in a small town in northeast France.

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Hoarding mailman too lazy to deliver

JESSHEIM, Norway - A mailman in Jessheim, Norway, who just didn't feel like delivering the mail, stashed two weeks worth of letters, bills and tax returns in his house.

When the Posten Norge service received complaints from people expecting tax returns and other important items, inspectors visited the home of the unidentified mail carrier and found mounds of undelivered mail, the Romerikes Blad newspaper reported.

The service's information director, Line Fredriksen, told the newspaper that staff had picked up the entire load and was sorting it again for delivery. He said for the time being, the carrier's neglect was being treated as a personnel issue, as it didn't appear theft was the motive.

However, he said criminal charges had not been ruled out.

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Zoo gets polar bear cub death threat

BERLIN - The Berlin Zoo has received a death threat against the international celebrity polar bear cub named Knut, whose mother abandoned him at birth.

The Sun of London reported Thursday that the zoo received a fax on Wednesday that said: "Knut dead. Thursday noon." Police were called immediately and the little bear's enclosure was thoroughly searched.

While zoo staff was more vigilant Wednesday and Thursday morning, police spokesman Michael Maass denied Knut was under police guard. However, extra police were sent to the zoo in the afternoon as German President Horst Koehler opened a new exhibit, the report said. As many as 15,000 people line up to see Knut in two viewings each day.

The bear has appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair, and has his own blog and a television show documenting his mother's rejection and hand rearing by zookeepers.

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Four-legged duck loses a limb

COPYTHORNE, England - A Copythorne, England, duck famous for being born with four legs has lost one his limbs after it got caught in his special pen.

The duck, Stumpy, owned by Warrawee Duck Farm proprietor Nicky Janaway, had been put in a special pen to ensure he didn't get his back legs caught in the brambles that the other ducks wander through, The Telegraph reported Thursday.

However, he snared one of his extra limbs in the fence around the pen.

"He clean snapped it but he had no idea anything had happened so he may not have had any sensation in it," Janaway said.

Janaway said that Stumpy's accident resulted in the removal of his endangered leg, and he can now roam free with his girlfriend, Alice, and the other ducks.

"It has given him his freedom because if he had got his leg stuck in a hedge like he did in the pen, I would never have found him," she said. "The other leg is tucked up so it has no chance of getting stuck."

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Donkey in court leads to settlement

DALLAS - The appearance of a donkey in a Dallas civil courtroom led two feuding neighbors to reach agreement and drop charges against one another.

Buddy, a 3-year-old, 300-pound donkey belongs to oilman and ranch owner John Cantrell. Buddy was part of a nuisance lawsuit filed by his Dallas suburban neighbor, attorney Gregory Shamoun.

In his suit, Cantrell claims Shamoun started a shoving match in March 2006 after he complained to the city about a storage shed Shamoun was building, The Dallas Morning News reported Thursday. In return, Shamoun said he brought Buddy from his ranch, which incensed Cantrell.

"They're noisy," Cantrell testified. "They bray a lot any time day or night. You never know when they're going to cut loose."

After three hours of exchanges and Buddy's silent testimony, the jury went to deliberate. While they were out, the neighbors settled their dispute, with Shamoun agreeing to buy part of Cantrell's property and Cantrell agreeing to withdraw his complaint with the city, the newspaper said.

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Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Buying Burger King's New Meat'Normous Sandwich...

10. "How dangerous is four-digit cholesterol?"

9. "Am I comfortable using the word, 'meat'normous'?"

8. "Do I have $3.49 and a death wish?"

7. "Is that bigger than meat'gantic?"

6. "Does a massive coronary qualify as 'having it my way'?"

5. "Is this gonna spoil my breakfast dessert?"

4. "Should I ask my doctor about Lipitor?"

3. "Why do I have to sign a waiver?"

2. "Can I get it with egg whites?"

1. "Did Cheney like it?"

[Stolen from the Late Show with David Letterman

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DDL

There once was a fellow named Wagstaff
Who bought supermarkets in Flagstaff.
Then replaced all cashiers
With a truckload of queers.
And today Wagstaff's proud of his fag staff.

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"Ummm... a malt Glen Garry for me and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on it."
--Vince Vaughn in SWINGERS

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"Bad cholesterol is the kind that clogs arteries, shoplifts lipstick and lies under oath."

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A peculiar posting appeared one day on the company bulletin board. It read: Used tombstone for sale. Ideal for Person Named "Murphy."

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Vegetable Love

Do you carrot all for me?
My heart beets for you.
With your turnip nose
And your radish face,
You are a peach.
If we cantaloupe,
Lettuce marry.
We make a swell pear!

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Rotten News....  (true)

Malaysian DVD pirates want sniffer dogs dead

Thu Mar 22, 1:55 AM ET

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - Malaysian movie pirates have put a bounty on the heads of two sniffer dogs who busted a fake DVD ring with a seizure of discs worth about $3 million (1.5 million pounds), media and officials said on Thursday.

Lucky and Flo, two female black Labradors deployed by Malaysian authorities in their crackdown on pirated movie DVDs and music CDs, carried out their first major successful operation in Johor state on Tuesday.

The New Straits Times said syndicate bosses had offered an unspecified reward for the killing of the two dogs.

"As a result of the extent of loss to the pirate syndicate, we have information from the domestic trade ministry that the Johor syndicate is intent on killing Lucky and Flo," said Neil Gane, an official of the Motion Picture Association.

"The Malaysian authorities are taking this threat seriously and the security around the dogs' current location has been beefed up," he told Reuters.

In Tuesday's raid, the two dogs helped seize a cache of around a million pirated game and movie discs in the southern city of Johor Baru, neighbouring Singapore. At least six people were arrested.

The fake DVDs, replicating machines and other tools used to make and sell discs were hidden in concealed spaces and secret compartments spread over four floors of an office building.

Malaysia, which figures on a U.S. watchlist on piracy, has dramatically stepped up efforts to rein in copyright pirates as it negotiates a free-trade pact with the United States.

The dogs are being given a month's trial by Malaysian officials in a joint effort with the Motion Picture Association, which groups six major Hollywood film companies.

The dogs are trained to sit down when they smell plastic. Until now, the animals have been used mainly to check containers in cargo hangars.

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God-fearing villagers snub "satanic" bar codes

Wed Mar 21, 1:02 PM ET

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A hundred residents of a Russian village have refused to switch to new passports because they believe the documents' bar codes contain satanic symbols, state television reported on Wednesday.

"We believe these new passports are sinful," Valentina Yepifanova, an elderly resident of the village Bogolyubovo, told Rossiya television as she clutched an old, tattered passport she said she wanted to keep.

"They have these bar codes and people say they contain three sixes. We are against that."

Some residents of Bogolyubovo, which means "God-loving" in Russian, have also stopped collecting their pensions at the local post office because the payment slips also have bar codes that might contain the mark of the devil, Rossiya TV reported.

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Of beer and bubbles: The formula for a perfect pint

By Julie Steenhuysen

Thu Apr 26, 9:13 AM ET

CHICAGO (Reuters) - A mathematical formula can now predict how the frothy head on a beer changes over time, a finding that may have a wide range of commercial uses beyond pulling the perfect pint, U.S. researchers said on Wednesday.

The formula explains how the tiny bubbles that make up foam grow -- an explanation that could lead to the development of products such as metal shrink wrap.

The possibilities include "the heat treatment of metals or even controlling (the) head on a pint of beer," Robert MacPherson of Princeton University in New Jersey and David Srolovitz of Yeshiva University in New York report in the journal Nature.

Foam is made up of many tiny bubbles that scientists think of as cells with boundaries. The new formula calculates how these microstructures grow.

"What the theory does is it tells you how the size of every single bubble will evolve in time," Srolovitz said in a telephone interview.

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Vibrator 'threat to national security'

A British made radio-controlled vibrator has been banned in Cyprus after it was branded a threat to national security.

The Cypriot military are concerned the sex toy's electronic waves will disrupt the army's radio frequencies on the island.

A spokesman for makers Ann Summers confirmed its Love Bug 2, a small, egg shaped device operated by a remote control, was on sale for use everywhere in Europe - except Cyprus.

The Ann Summers spokesman said: "The remote control only has a range of six metres. We have still been selling them in Cyprus, but with a warning urging Cypriots not to use it unless they travel abroad."

In its promotional literature the company describes the device as a "deceptively powerful matt silver love egg", later adding: "Not for use in Cyprus".

Military officials refused to comment on the reasons for the ban, but the government's Communications and Works Ministry said it had been a purely military decision.

A spokesman said: "We never even saw them, they were banned before we even had a chance to check them, but if issues of national security are at stake then that is not surprising.

"The military does operate on a different frequency to the general frequency, but they do not share that information for obvious reasons, only they would have been able to decide what SRD's (Small Range Devices) might be a threat and what to do about it."

Lizzie Eddleston from the Ann Summers press office in the UK said: "It is a shame but we have to honour the request and have made it clear that the Love Bug is not for sale in Cyprus.

"We have been told the electronic waves given off by the 'Love Bug' would affect military frequencies, but we have told locals that we have a lot of other devices that are not banned which will satisfy their needs. After all, it's better to make love, not war."