Subject: Daily Dose - 070515 - Greek style, BIZARRE NEWS, 1979 Cadillac, DDL, Rotten News

A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn't take long before he is on the stool next to her.

They talk for about fifteen minutes and then the man says to the woman, "You're really hot!"

"You're pretty cute, too," she says. "I'll tell you what, I live just around the corner. What do you think about coming up to my place?"

"It sounds great!" the man eagerly replies. "Before we go up there though," the woman says, "I have to ask you one question: Do you like doing it Greek style?"

"Well...uh...I'm not exactly sure what that is," man answers, "but it sure sounds interesting and I'm willing to learn! Let's go!"

So the two of them walk over to her apartment. As soon as they get inside the door, the woman rips off all her clothes. The man can't believe his eyes. The woman has an incredibly beautiful body.

"Now, you're sure," the woman asks, "that you want to do it Greek style?"

"Definitely!" the man replies.

"All right, then," says the woman. "Take off all your clothes, and get up on the bed on yours hands and knees."

"Sounds like fun!" the man exclaims. He leaps out of his clothes and climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees. The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front of the man. She kneels down in front of his head. She asks him again, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"

"Yeah! Yeah!" says the man.

The woman grabs the man with her arms right under his armpits, getting him in a lock hold. He can't move at all, and his head is pressing right into her chest. One more time she says, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"

The man's muffled voice can barely be heard from between her breasts. "Yeah!" he mumbles, "Greek style!"

The woman's grip on him tightens like a vice, and she yells out, "OK, GUS! COME ON IN!"

______________________________

BIZARRE NEWS...

Hospital sued for removing wrong testicle

LOS ANGELES - An Air Force veteran is suing the West Los Angeles VA Medical Center for removing the wrong testicle.

Benjamin Houghton, a 47-year-old father of four, underwent surgery last June for the removal of his potentially cancerous left testicle. Doctors instead removed his healthy right testicle, The Los Angeles Times reported.

Houghton and his wife, Monica, are seeking about $200,000 for future healthcare costs and an undisclosed amount in damages, the newspaper said. The lawsuit claims Houghton was deprived of the testosterone the healthy testicle produced, creating the potential for complications including sexual dysfunction, depression, fatigue, weight gain and osteoporosis.

***

Breeder believes N. Korea killed rabbits

BERLIN - A German breeder of giant rabbits said he believes the animals he sold to begin a breeding program in North Korea were killed and eaten by officials.

Karl Szmolinsky sold 12 giant rabbits to Pyongyang to help the country start a breeding program to alleviate food shortages, The Times of London reported Thursday. Szmolinsky said after he was contacted by a North Korean official who said his trip to the country to provide advice on setting up a rabbit farm has been canceled that he believes the animals were killed and eaten at a birthday banquet for North Korean leader Kim Jong Il.

However, Szmolinsky said he has no hard evidence to back up his belief. "It's an assumption, not an assertion," Szmolinsky said. "But I don't think the animals are alive anymore, I think they've been eaten."

"North Korea won't be getting any more rabbits from me, they don't even need to bother asking," he told The Times. "I was looking forward to going on such a trip while I'm still fit enough."

***

Engagement ends in suit over ring

NAPERVILLE, Ill. - An Illinois couple's engagement began romantically with a $48,000 ring and ended in court with a suit over the pear-shaped diamond bauble.

Richard Phebus and Renee Mingilino of Naperville, Ill., broke up in February, two months after he went down on one knee in a Chicago-area Italian restaurant and put the ring on her finger. This week, a judge ordered Mingilino to return the ring, the Chicago Tribune reported.

Mingilino said she only hung on to the ring because Phebus wrote her telling her she could keep it. "He can have his ring -- he can shove it as far as it goes," Mingilino said to the Tribune. "Just seeing my name on the same paperwork with this guy is enough to make me want to vomit. I don't want anything to do with that ring; I don't want anything to do with that guy."

Phebus was more charitable, describing the court action as "a sad thing." "She's a woman. She's emotional -- I didn't want her to do something silly out of anger," Phebus told the newspaper.

______________________________

After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979."

"You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.

"No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."

______________________________

DDL

A virile young shepherd named Rex,
Was considered a master at sex
By a Queen he was dating,
Her Ladies-in-Waiting,
And his sheep who were all nervous wrecks.

______________________________

"In a recent poll, one in four people said they'd donate a kidney to a complete stranger. Yeah, sure... 90% of people won't even let a stranger merge in traffic!"
--Jay Leno

***

My firend Tom said he stopped watching golf on TV. His doctor recommended that he get more exercise. So now he watches tennis.

***

"I failed my driver's test. The guy asked me, "What do you do at a red light?"

I said, "I don't know, look around, listen to the radio"
--Bill Braudis

***

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
--Albert Einstein

***

"Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey (which is true in both mechanics and politics)"
--T-shirt slogan

***

"Just because it takes the Jaws of Life to get my wallet open doesn't mean I'm cheap!"

______________________________

Rotten News....  (true)

UFO science key to halting climate change: former Canadian defense minister

Wed Feb 28, 2:45 PM ET

OTTAWA (AFP) - A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change, a local paper said Wednesday.

"I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation ... that could be a way to save our planet," Paul Hellyer, 83, told the Ottawa Citizen.

Alien spacecrafts would have traveled vast distances to reach Earth, and so must be equipped with advanced propulsion systems or used exceptional fuels, he told the newspaper.

Such alien technologies could offer humanity alternatives to fossil fuels, he said, pointing to the enigmatic 1947 incident in Roswell, New Mexico -- which has become a shrine for UFO believers -- as an example of alien contact.

"We need to persuade governments to come clean on what they know. Some of us suspect they know quite a lot, and it might be enough to save our planet if applied quickly enough," he said.

Hellyer became defense minister in former prime minister Lester Pearson's cabinet in 1963, and oversaw the controversial integration and unification of Canada's army, air force and navy into the Canadian Forces.

He shocked Canadians in September 2005 by announcing he once saw a UFO.

**********

A room for me and my...donkey

Friday, March 2, 2007

A room for two please!Hmmm, we found this story hard to believe but loved it anyway...

A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his hotel room in Galway, Ireland, because he was advised "to get out and meet people."

Thomas Aloysius McCarney, from south Galway, was reported to have a fixation with the Shrek movies and even signed into the hotel as 'Mr Shrek'!

McCarney was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before a court. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.

Solicitor for the accused, Ms Sharon Fitzhenry, said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.

"Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things," she said.

Mr McCarney had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist.

Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of 'super rabbit' which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city.

The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the police. McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed.

He was fined €2,000 (£1,346) for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837.

**********

Husband kills wife's lover; wife charged

POSTED: 2245 GMT (0645 HKT), March 30, 2007

ARLINGTON, Texas (AP) -- Darrell Roberson came home from a card game late one night to find his wife rolling around with another man in a pickup truck in the driveway.

Caught in the act with her lover, Tracy Denise Roberson -- thinking quickly, if not clearly -- cried rape, authorities say. Her husband pulled a gun and killed the other man with a shot to the head.

On Thursday, a grand jury handed up a manslaughter indictment -- against the wife, not the husband.

The grand jury declined to charge the husband with murder, the charge on which he was arrested by police.

"If I found somebody with my wife or with my kids in my house, there's no telling what I might do," said Juan Muniz, 33, who was having lunch Friday with one of his two small children at a restaurant in the middle-class suburban Dallas neighborhood where the Robersons lived. "I probably would have done the same thing."

Tracy Roberson, 35, could get two to 20 years in prison in the slaying of Devin LaSalle, a 32-year-old UPS employee.

Assistant District Attorney Sean Colston declined to comment on specifics of the case or the grand jury proceedings but said Texas law allows a defendant to claim justification if he has "a reasonable belief that his actions are necessary, even though what they believe at the time turns out not to be true."

**************

Hair dresser

A Croatian company has made a dress entirely from human hair.

Designers at the Artidjana company used 165ft of blonde hair in the dress which was modelled at a fashion show in the capital Zagreb.

Model Simona Gotovac stunned the crowds when she appeared on the catwalk wearing the human hair dress.