Subject: Daily Dose - 070508 - TRIANGULAR PLOT, BIZARRE NEWS, Organic, DDL, Rotten News

A sweet girl of Seventeen is very eager to offer a small lovely "TRIANGULAR PLOT" for sale which is centrally located on the slope of the lower area but not observed or explored by anybody till date. For the last Seventeen years the plot being tenderly cared and looked after by the girl herself.  The plot is fertile and can bear best result even in the first planting.

For the last four years the plot was covered with shiny  black curly grass which is very tender to touch. No machine has yet been used for trimming the grass which has now covered the whole area. Another thing which adds beauty of the plot is the fantastic pond hidden under it. Offer are immediately invited from young men with firm and energetic capital which can be put in easily and this must give outflowing white liquid capital.

The young men should be strong enough to plough in hard with his own tool. Although initially it will be hard and a bit difficult to cut open  he gate seal. Once the capital is put in the entrance will not repent and will be delighted to have ventured into the site.

Since the neighbors are waiting for an opportunity to the pounce this marvelous plot make haste to be first to enter into the site. Yet another fact to be disclosed regarding the site is that the "DOUBLE HILLS" on the top of the said plot is already captured by the local students. Anyhow, they are not permitted to go down.

Offer for lease or retail will not be accepted.

NB :  ENTRANCE FROM THE BACK GATE STRICTLY PROHIBITED.

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BIZARRE NEWS...

Is that Nine Parrots in Your Coat or...

BLAGOVESHCHENSK, Russia - Russian authorities arrested a woman at an airport after nine rare parrots were found hidden under her coat.

Denisa Mrazova was stopped by a customs officer who noticed her coat moving at an airport in Blagoveshchensk, Ananova reported Thursday. She had arrived in Blagoveshchensk on a flight from China.

Officers said the beaks of the birds had been taped shut to prevent them from making sounds but they could be seen squirming under Mrazova's heavy coat. She was ordered to remove the coat and the nine birds were found strapped to her body.

The birds were placed in quarantine.

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Burglars' Break-In and Bump Uglies

DARWIN, Australia - Burglars who broke into a house in Darwin, Australia, had sex in the victim's master bedroom before fleeing with their loot.

The Northern Territory News reported the homeowner returned from vacation to find he had been robbed of cash and alcohol while a housesitter he had employed slept throughout the raid in another bedroom.

"He'd been out drinking and didn't hear what was going on," said the householder, who asked not to be named. "But the evidence of what the thieves got up to before leaving was there for all to see," he told the News.

"The sheets have been taken away for DNA sampling and I've told the police that I don't want them back."

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29 percent celebrate April Fool's at work

CHICAGO - Chicago-based CareerBuilder.com released a survey saying 29 percent of respondents have been on the giving or receiving end of an April Fool's prank at work.

The survey of 6,823 workers over the age of 18 was taken Feb. 15-March 6. The survey had a margin of error of 1.5 percentage points.

CareerBuilder.com chose as the most memorable prank of this year's survey a joke carried out by a worker who sent a letter signed by the president of the company to all employees informing them that bathroom breaks must be taken in alphabetical order.

Also in the Web site's top 10 were employees reducing the size of a boss's lab coat for several weeks, putting dry ice in a urinal, exchanging a boss's reading glasses for clear glass, sending a co-worker a message informing them to contact "George" with the number to the White House, taping up the doorway to the bathroom with a co-worker inside, installing a "random burping" program on a boss's computer that belched at random intervals for several days, filling jelly donuts with ketchup, having someone with a "questionable" profession call the office for directions and a chief executive placing a "For Sale" sign on the company building.

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Exhibit features pyramid of condom boxes

SAN FRANCISCO - Transamerica Corp. isn't embracing the work of an artist who built a model of San Francisco's landmark Transamerica Pyramid out of condom boxes.

"Transamerica Corporation is not a sponsor of the exhibit, nor does it endorse the products or services of Old Glory Condom Corp. or any other vendor participating in the exhibit," the company said in response to the condom-box artwork of Jay Critchley, the San Francisco Chronicle reported.

Critchley, whose company, Old Glory Condom Corp., logo is an American flag running along a condom, made the 3-foot-tall model of the iconic part of the San Francisco skyline for the Corporate Art Expo '07 exhibit at the LAB gallery in San Francisco.

"I would hope that Transamerica is pleased to know that their image is being associated with global corporate responsibility, in line with their stated core values of respect, quality, transparency and trust," Critchley, of Massachusetts, told the Chronicle.

Critchley said the goal of his products and his artwork is to keep safe sex on people's minds.

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Organic

Harry Henpecked had been ordered by his wife to buy only organic vegetables from the market garden.

"These vegetables are for my wife," he said. "Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?"

"No," said the gardener, "you'll have to do that yourself."

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DDL

A farmer who was a bit queer
Could not tell a bull from a steer;
He bought one for his cows;
It did nothing but browse;
It had neither the interest nor gear.

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"According to Newsweek, they've now come out with the carbon diet. An environmentally friendly diet that reduces greenhouse gases. Let me tell you something. If your diet is so bad that you are causing global warming... just stay out of Taco Bell."
-Jay Leno

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"I love spring in New York. Isn't it great? I mean, today, it's sunny and 61. Just like Katie Couric."
-Dave Letterman

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"The Postal Service is getting ready to introduce a new set of Star Wars-themed stamps. The plan is in May they're going to issue a really cool set of Star Wars stamps, then in 15 years, they'll release a second set of Star Wars stamps that suck."
-Jimmy Kimmel

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"My sister got some of the fat sucked out of her bum and injected in her face, so she'd have a much fuller face. Bad news is she doesn't look any better. The good news is I now officially get to call her ass-face."
--Harland Williams

***

"Strange times we live in. A town in Florida with a street named 'Gay Avenue' is changing its name because a resident says people automatically thought he was gay. He wants the new name of the street to be 'I Ain't No Homo Lane'."
--Conan O'Brien

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Rotten News....  (true)

Stand-in Chinese mistress sought to take wife's abuse

Tue Feb 27, 1:01 AM ET

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese businessman has advertised on the Internet for a stand-in mistress to be beaten up by his wife to vent her anger and to protect his real mistress, Chinese media reported on Monday.

"When the woman found out her husband had a mistress, she insisted on beating her up," the Beijing Youth Daily said, citing the advertisement posted on a popular online jobs forum on sina.com.

More than 10 people had applied for the job, the newspaper said. The "successful" candidate would be 35 and originally from northeastern China and would be paid 3,000 yuan ($400) per 10 minutes, it said.

Many Chinese businessmen keep mistresses in second homes, a trend banished after the Communists swept to power in 1949 but which has made a comeback with market reforms in recent decades.

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Man tries to cash $50K check from God

HOBART, Ind. - Kevin Russell found out it's not easy trying to cash a check from God. The 21-year-old man was arrested Monday after he tried to cash a check for $50,000 at the Chase Bank in Hobart that was signed "King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant," Hobart police Detective Jeff White said.

Russell was charged with one count attempted check fraud and one count intimidation, both felonies, and one count resisting law enforcement, a misdemeanor. He could face prison time.

Police were called to the bank after Russell tried to cash the check, which was written on an invalid Bank One check with no imprint, White said. Russell had several other checks with him that were signed the same way but made out in different dollar amounts, including one for $100,000.

Russell struggled with police as they tried to detain him, White said, and then threatened police as they transported him to the Hobart Police Department.

"I've heard about God giving out eternal life, but this is the first time I've heard of him giving out cash," White said.

No court date has been set for Russell. He was being held Wednesday at the Lake County Jail on a $1,000 bond.

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Chinese faller saved by pile of, er, excrement

Wed Apr 4, 3:06 AM ET

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese woman survived a plunge from a sixth-floor balcony thanks to a convenient pile of excrement which broke her fall, local media said.

The accident happened when the woman was hanging out laundry on Monday in Nanjing, capital of the eastern province of Jiangsu, the Kuaibao tabloid said on its Web site (www.kuaibao.net).

"Workers happened to be emptying the building's septic tank, which had not been tended for a long time and had regularly blocked sewage pipes," the newspaper said.

"She probably stretched out too far and fell ... right on to a 20 cm-thick heap of excrement."

The woman suffered only slight injuries, the newspaper said.

In March, a six-year-old girl broke only her left leg when she fell six floors on to a pile of snow in the northeastern province of Heilongjiang.

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Fake snakes take the pee

Austrian officials fed up with motorists stopping to urinate by the roadside have put up fake snake warnings to scare them into using toilets.

Franz Perder, manager of a motorway restaurant in Guntramsdorf where some of the signs have been placed, said: "The idea is that people stop to relieve themselves, see the warning about snakes and get back in the car instead of going to the bushes to take a leak.

"Of course there are no snakes but they don't know that. The warnings have worked really well."

Officials say the worst culprits are East Europeans. The signs read 'Beware, mortal danger. Snakes' in Polish and Czech alongside a picture of a cobra. It also has the sign in English and German.

Perder said: "People were fed up with the smell of urine in the car parks, even though the toilets are free.

"We tried other signs but they were useless. These signs though have really worked. You see men coming up to bushes, getting ready to have a pee and then quickly zipping up their trousers again when they see the signs."