Subject: Daily Dose - 070424 - Verdict, BIZARRE NEWS, Airplanes Versus Women, DDL, Rotten News

Verdict

The three-time felon felt a wave of panic come over him as he surveyed the jury in the courthouse. Positive he'd never beat the murder rap, he managed to get hold of one of the kinder looking jurors, and bribe her with his life savings to go for a manslaughter verdict.

Sure enough, at the close of the trial the jury declared him guilty of manslaughter. Tears of gratitude welling up in his eyes, the young man had a moment with the juror before being led off to prison. "Thank you, thank you - how'd you do it?"

"It wasn't easy," she admitted. "They all wanted to declare you 'not guilty'..."

______________________________

BIZARRE NEWS...

Bizarre Laws Australia

In Victoria, it is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday Sunday.

It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of a footpath.

In Victoria, only licensed electricians may change a light bulb. The fine for not abiding by this law is 10 pounds.

It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burglar.

Children may not purchase cigarettes, but they may smoke them.

In Victoria, you must have a neck to knee swimsuit in order to swim at Brighton Beach.

In Tasmania, until the Port Arthur Killings it was legal to own an AK-47 but not legal to be gay.

***

Man pays steep power bill in pennies

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. - An Illinois man is protesting a recent utility rate hike by paying his electric bill with pennies.

Robert Hancock of Carterville, Ill., said one of his bills from power company Ameren totaled $526.62, more than three times what he paid for electricity before a rate freeze ended in January, WLS-TV, Chicago, reported.

In protest, he paid about $50 to mail 52,000 cents -- 315 pounds of pennies -- to the company Saturday.

***

Man tells court he has six kids on the way

AVONDALE, Ohio - An Avondale, Ohio, music producer convicted of attempted theft told the court he is the expectant father of six children -- with six different women.

Hamilton County (Ohio) Common Pleas Judge Melba Marsh asked Ricky Lackey, who was convicted of defrauding U.S. Bank out of $3,975 by depositing bad checks and inserting empty envelopes into automatic teller machines, how many children he had, and the 25-year-old responded: "None, but I have six on the way," the Cincinnati Enquirer reported Monday.

Lackey clarified before being silenced by his lawyer that the six children, due in August, September and October, are with six different mothers.

Court records showed that Lackey had since repaid the money to the bank and Marsh declined to impose additional punishment, the Enquirer said.

***

Scavenger hunt results in 40 arrests

LAREDO, Texas - Police arrested 32 adults and eight juveniles in Laredo, Texas, engaged in a high school scavenger hunt, which officials called "organized criminal activity."

The senior-sponsored scavenger hunt included a requirement to abscond with the globe at the Texas A&M International University's entrance to become an "automatic winner," the Laredo Morning Times reported.

The globe was not taken, officials said, but a total of 40 students were taken into custody after a scavenger hunt list containing things like traffic signs, garden hoses, game consoles and other items was found by police.

"I'm sure it started out as a prank; but, when they started taking other people's property and taking stop signs and traffic signs and compromising people's safety, that's when they crossed the line from fun and games, to criminal activity," said Laredo Police spokesman Juan Rivera. "Items recovered include assorted clothing and other items including, water hoses, electric drills, Christmas trees, three fast food restaurant signs, five Xbox game consoles, one United States flag, five traffic control barrels, one El Metro bus stop seat, four fire extinguishers, one speed limit sign, five handicapped parking signs, two stop signs, and five dead end signs," Rivera said.

***

Buddhists seek help with ant problem

GEORGETOWN, Malaysia - A group of Malaysian Buddhist monks, who are forbidden from harming living creatures, are seeking help with a fire ant infestation.

The monks at the Ang Hock Si Temple in Georgetown say they are seeking imaginative non-violent solutions to stop the fire ants from biting worshippers, the BBC reported Monday.

The head monk at the temple, the Venerable Boon Keng, said the ants drop from the temple's sacred bodhi tree and bite worshippers meditating. Keng said the ants are not a problem for he and other monks who practice what he referred to as "letting go" meditation, which entails "letting go" of the pain, but he is looking to displace the ants out of consideration for those who practice less advanced meditation.

Keng said an attempt to relocate the ants using a vacuum cleaner failed. He said the temple's Buddhists cannot encourage anyone to harm the ants but if someone were to kill the insects without the monks' knowledge it would be seen as the will of the universe.

______________________________

Airplanes Versus Women

Airplanes can kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.

Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.

Airplanes don't get mad if you 'touch and go.'

Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.

Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.

Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.

Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.

Airplanes don't come with in-laws.

Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown before.

Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.

Airplanes don't mind if you like to look at other airplanes.

Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.

Airplanes expect to be tied down.

Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.

Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.

However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's a bad thing.

______________________________

DDL

A lad lusted after his tutor,
Who tutored him on the computer.
Her talents computable
Made her unscrutable,
Up to the day that he wooed her and screwed her.

______________________________

"Mitt Romney is now running for president on the Republican ticket. I really like his campaign slogan: 'Mitt Happens.'"
--Jimmy Kimmel

***

"Presidential candidate Tom Vilsack... not a lot of name recognition there. Be honest. Before you came here today, how many had heard the name Vilsack? How many thought it was a pickle?"
-Jay Leno

***

"I don't even know why I try. My Valentine's dinner was very embarrassing. My date, after dinner, went around the bar handing out her card."
-Dave Letterman

***

If you only strive to be average, don’t forget the average person is dead.

***

A man is incomplete until he is married… then he is finished.

***

They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage is love; after marriage is self-defense.

______________________________

Rotten News....  (true)

In U.S., fear and distrust of Muslims runs deep

Fri Dec 1, 2006 9:07am ET

By Bernd Debusmann, Special Correspondent

WASHINGTON (Reuters)- When radio host Jerry Klein suggested that all Muslims in the United States should be identified with a crescent-shape tattoo or a distinctive arm band, the phone lines jammed instantly.

The first caller to the station in Washington said that Klein must be "off his rocker." The second congratulated him and added: "Not only do you tattoo them in the middle of their forehead but you ship them out of this country ... they are here to kill us."

Another said that tattoos, armbands and other identifying markers such as crescent marks on driver's licenses, passports and birth certificates did not go far enough. "What good is identifying them?" he asked. "You have to set up encampments like during World War Two with the Japanese and Germans."

At the end of the one-hour show, rich with arguments on why visual identification of "the threat in our midst" would alleviate the public's fears, Klein revealed that he had staged a hoax. It drew out reactions that are not uncommon in post-9/11 America.

"I can't believe any of you are sick enough to have agreed for one second with anything I said," he told his audience on the AM station 630 WMAL (http://www.wmal.com/), which covers Washington, Northern Virginia and Maryland. "For me to suggest to tattoo marks on people's bodies, have them wear armbands, put a crescent moon on their driver's license on their passport or birth certificate is disgusting. It's beyond disgusting.

"Because basically what you just did was show me how the German people allowed what happened to the Jews to happen ... We need to separate them, we need to tattoo their arms, we need to make them wear the yellow Star of David, we need to put them in concentration camps, we basically just need to kill them all because they are dangerous."

The show aired on November 26, the Sunday after the Thanksgiving holiday, and Klein said in an interview afterwards he had been surprised by the response.

**********

Saudi women can sell - not drive - cars

By DONNA ABU-NASR, Associated Press Writer

Sun Dec 3, 4:01 PM ET

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — Saudi women still can't drive cars, but they can sell them. Potential buyers can go to an all-women showroom where, for the first time, other women will help them choose a car and answer questions about horsepower, carburetors and other automotive features.

Neither the saleswomen nor the female buyers can take the car out for a test drive because women are banned from driving in Saudi Arabia — even though they have been allowed to own cars for decades and hire male drivers. Almost half the autos belong to women.

The kingdom's strict interpretation of Islam has long limited what women can do outside the home, seeking to keep them from coming into contact with men who aren't relatives.

So touchy is the issue of women driving that people who previously called for dialogue about whether Saudi Arabia should remain the only Arab nation that bans female drivers have been largely silenced by a wave of condemnation from conservatives. Mindful of those sensitivities, the Riyadh car dealership that opened the all-women showroom asked that its name not be used.

The seven female saleswomen at the spacious showroom insist they aren't pushing for female driving but only providing comfort for women who want to buy cars and don't like to go to dealerships run by men. With the sexes segregated in schools, restaurants and banks, interaction between salesmen and women customers is awkward for many Saudis.

"I don't support women driving even if a permission is given for them to do so, because the society is not prepared for such a step," said Widad Merdad, one of the saleswomen, which is privately owned and — like many in Saudi Arabia — offers a range of cars.

While the introduction of car saleswomen into the work force may seem a gain for Saudi women, some say that for every step forward, women suffer other setbacks.

The woman, who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of being harassed, said she was forced to cancel a women-only private viewing of new models of a popular car a year ago when religious police agents stormed into the dealership hours before the reception.

When told the reception was intended only to show cars to women, the police retorted that the vehicles could be taken to the women's homes for private viewings, she said.

It's not only men who oppose women driving, however.

Ruqiya al-Duwaighry, in a letter to the opinion page of Al-Watan, wrote that driving "strips women of their femininity" and puts them in situations that might violate the ban on the sexes mixing.

Driving "may subject her to give up the veil or mix with strange men, such as workers at gas stations or security men at checkpoints," she wrote. "Women, by nature, cannot cope with such hard work."

**********

Muslim woman gives sex advice on Arab TV

By NADIA ABOU EL-MAGD, Associated Press Writer

Sun Dec 3, 4:44 PM ET

CAIRO, Egypt - Heba Kotb is a conservative Muslim, wears an Islamic head scarf, and goes on television once a week to talk — frankly and in great detail — about sex.

On her show, "Big Talk," Kotb answers questions from Muslims all over the Middle East about the most intimate bedroom issues with an openness that is shocking and revolutionary in a society where discussing the subject is taboo.

"How do I talk about these issues? Very seriously," the Egyptian sexologist says. "I put on a mask-like face and make sure I speak in the right tone of voice."

She also does it by talking about sex in an Islamic light, arguing that the faith is in favor of pleasure for both men and women, with one important caveat — that it be only in the context of marriage.

"I'm very proud of my religion," Kotb told The Associated Press in an interview at Cairo University, where she teaches forensic medicine. "My studies revealed to me more and more how Islam was ahead in all sexual matters .... I discovered that Islam understood sex long before the rest of the world."

For example, Islam "stresses the importance of foreplay," Kotb said, and she often stresses to listeners that women should also enjoy sex.

Kotb's frankness is a hit in a region where sex education is minimal, male-female contact is often discouraged and talk on the subject is usually in hushed tones, allowing myths to circulate freely.

She lectured in Saudi Arabia and Yemen recently, where she said many men in the audience where shocked, while women — some with veiled faces — bombarded her with questions.

Much of her advice is straight biology — laying out facts rarely aired elsewhere. Nothing is too sensitive. She discusses sexual positions, female orgasm, oral sex (allowed, "since there is no religious text banning it"), even masturbation (frowned upon but at least preferable to unmarried or adulterous sex, which is "haram," meaning forbidden by religion).

"It's a beautiful thing what she is doing," said Abier El-Barbary, a psychotherapist and faculty member of American University in Cairo. "It's a long overdue topic tastefully done," she said.

**********

Grannies' G-strings go global

G-strings crocheted by Polish grannies have proved such a success they are being sold worldwide on the internet.

No longer able to sell their hand-crafted doilies and table clothes, women in the tiny Polish mountain village of Koniakow turned their crocheting skills to making sexy lingerie.

And the business has proved such a success that the crochetiers have now launched an online shop for people around the world to buy the knitted underwear.

Tadeusz Rucki, who funds the granny g-string firm, said: "People aren't only mad about g-strings in traditional white crochet, but also in red and black."

But the head of the local Society for Folk Art, Helena Kamieniarz, is not happy with the new business, saying: "What is being done to our old traditions is a disgrace. The art of crochet is not intended for making such garments."

The crocheted g-strings can be ordered from http://koniakow.com for around £17 each.