Subject: Daily Dose - 070407 - depression, BIZARRE NEWS, motel conference rooms, DDL, Rotten News

Two friends meet in the street. The one man looked rather forlorn and down in the mouth. The other man asked, "Hey, how come you look like the whole world caved in?"

The sad fellow said, "Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me ten thousand dollars."

"I'm sorry to hear about the death, but a bit of good luck for you, eh?"

"Hold on, I'm just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked the bucket and left me twenty thousand, free and clear."

"Well, you can't be disappointed with that!"

"Yep. But, last week my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost one hundred thousand dollars."

"Incredible... so how come you look so glum?"

"Well, this week...nothing!"

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BIZARRE NEWS...

Worst Disguise Ever!

MONROE, N.C. - Sheriff's deputies say a man who robbed a convenience store in Union County, N.C., used an unusual and low-tech disguise -- a pair of boxer shorts on his head.

Deputies said the man, who robbed a BP gas station convenience store Tuesday night, wore red boxer shorts on his head to conceal his identity, WSOC-TV, Charlotte, N.C., reported Thursday. The sheriff's office described the man as a black man between 35 and 38 years old with a gray beard, green sweatshirt and black pants.

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Bus Stops Now With Porno

SOFIA - A city-run bus company is showing dirty movies on monitors at bus stops to help commuters in the Bulgarian capital while away the wait after midnight. During the day, a bus timetable is on the monitors, the Serbian news agency FoNet reported Thursday.

An official at the transportation company in Sofia said the company wanted to entertain passengers as they wait for buses. Erotic movies are being shown only late at night when there is little chance children are on the streets, he said.

Some Sofia residents praised the new service while others said it brings shame on the city. Some Bulgarians complained security in Sofia has been reduced as police officers prefer to watch pornographic films instead of chasing criminals, the report said.

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Senator Repeats Profanity-Laced Criticism Posted Online

Senator Scott Brown was discussing his stance on gay marriage during an assembly at King Philip Regional High School when he decided to share the vulgar comments written about him by students on facebook.com.

The site dedicated to the pro-gay rights history teacher at the school, stated "I hate Scott Brown" and "Scott Brown ascends from the underworld," two of the more tame comments on the site. With more profane descriptions also including pictures of Brown edited with devil's horns, a devil's tail and a pitchfork, and the comments weren't just limited the comments to Brown.

His daughter, Ayla Brown, a former American Idol finalist and scholarship basketball player at Boston College was also targeted. Concerning the controversy over his comments, Brown said "If the kids can write it, the kids can hear it."

The students then became immensely involved in a discussion about issues such as gay marriage. "I felt really good about it. And now I find out I'm being portrayed as a vile-speaking hate-monger. It's pretty saddening. I feel very badly that I'm being victimized here," he said.

After reading the comments verbatim and even naming the individual students who wrote them, he outraged both students and teachers. The mother of the student who created the site stated that she thought that Brown acted inappropriately.

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Woman on the Wrong Bus Lost For 25 Years

BANGKOK, A woman who boarded the wrong bus on an attempted shopping trip from Thailand to Malaysia has returned home after 25 years.

Jaeyana Beuraheng told her eight children she accidentally boarded a bus bound for Bangkok instead of Malaysia, and once there she boarded a second incorrect bus because she could not read or speak Thai or English, The Times of London reported Wednesday.

Beuraheng, who speaks only the Yawi dialect used by Muslims in southern Thailand, said the noise and traffic of the big city confused and disoriented her, leading her to board the second wrong bus to Chiang Mai, near the border with Burma. The woman said she spent five years begging on the street in the city and was often mistaken for a member of a hill tribe because of her dark skin tone.

She was arrested in 1987 on suspicion of being an illegal immigrant and was sent to a social services hostel when authorities were unable to determine her origins. However, last month, three students from her home village arrived at the hostel for training, and they were able to communicate with Beuraheng and help her find her way home.

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Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of "Show and Tell" that day had been parents' occupations.

The teacher pulled me aside.  Whispering, she advised, "You might want to explain a little bit more to your daughter what you do for a living."

I work as a training consultant and often conduct my seminars in motel conference rooms.

When I asked why, the teacher explained, "Your daughter told the class she wasn't sure what you did, but said you got dressed real pretty and went to work at motels."

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DDL

A pushing young man in Pachogue
Runs a Radio Hour for the Dog.
His program of growls,
Barks, bays, whines and howls
Is setting the dog world agog.

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Each one of us is a mixture of good qualities and some perhaps not so good qualities. In considering our fellow man, we should remember his good qualities and realize that his faults only prove that he is, after all, a human being. We should refrain from making harsh judgment of a person just because he happens to be a dirty, rotten, no-good son-of-a-bitch.

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"It's important to pay close attention in school. For years I thought that bears masturbated all winter."
--Damon R. Milhem

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A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says, "Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!"

"Son, you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."

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"After Mama gave birth to 12 of us kids, we put her up on a pedestal. It was mostly to keep Daddy away from her."
--Dolly Parton

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"New York City now has a major rat problem. You have no idea how big these rats are until you go to Central Park and take a ride in one of our rat drawn carriages."
--Dave Letterman

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"Tonight was the debut of Martha Stewart's "Apprentice" show. Ironically, it was followed by an episode of "Law & Order."
--Jay Leno

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"There's a more important reason to keep NASA's programs going strong ... to achieve that greatest of discoveries, the thing we as human beings need most: space oil."
--Daily Show correspondent Stephen Colbert

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Rotten News....  (true)

French health minister seeks nap study

PARIS - The French already enjoy a 35-hour work week and generous vacation. Now the health minister wants to look into whether workers should be allowed to sleep on the job.

France launched plans this week to spend $9 million this year to improve public awareness about sleeping troubles. About one in three French people suffer from them, the ministry says. Fifty-six percent of French complain that a poor night's sleep has affected their job performance, according to the ministry.

"Why not a nap at work? It can't be a taboo subject," Health Minister Xavier Bertrand said Monday. He called for further studies and said he would promote on-the-job naps if they prove useful.

France's state-run health insurance provider will send letters explaining the importance of good sleep. The Health Ministry's Web site offers tips on how best to get a good night's rest.

The ministry's online "Passport to Sleep" recommends cutting down on coffee, tea, colas, and athletic activity after 8 p.m., shunning TV time or working late in the evening, and listening better to the body's own sleep signals, such as yawning.

Bertrand said sleepiness causes 20 percent to 30 percent of highway accidents across France each year.

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Man loses wife at poker

A Russian man lost his wife in a game of cards after putting her up as a stake instead of cash.

Andrei Karpov, from Murmansk, had run out of money in a game of poker and offered his opponent his wife instead of cash to stay in the game.

When he lost the game and his opponent Sergey Brodov turned up to claim his winnings his wife Tatiana was so angry she decided to divorce her husband and started a relationship with Brodov.

She has since married Brodov, and said she does not regret leaving her first husband.

She said: "It was humiliating and I was utterly ashamed. But as soon as my ex-husband did that I knew I had to leave him.

"Sergey was a very handsome, charming man and I am very happy with him, even if he did 'win' me in a poker game."

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Big Ballet bound for Britain

A ballet troupe made up of Russian women weighing an average of 20 stone is bound for Britain. The Big Ballet company are set to perform at 27 theatres over 30 days.

It is the first time the 16 dancers, who each weigh a minimum of 17 stone, have toured the UK.

Venues still have to be confirmed because health and safety officials need to check the stages are strong enough.

"These girls are big stars," says their promoter, Alexei Ignatov. "They're proof that you don't have to be thin to look graceful."

Big Ballet's Dance captain Katya Yurgowa said: "We eat normal amounts of food, and the same kind of food, as everybody else - our size is in our genes."

Performed on a black-box stage with hand-made costumes the first section of the show is a parody of popular classical ballets such as Swan Lake and The Nutcracker.

The second is faster-paced as the larger-than-life dancers perform to contemporary music, such as Robbie Williams, Tom Jones and the Pet Shop Boys.

The Big Ballet was set up 13 years ago by top Russian choreographer Panfilov. He set out to prove people of larger build can move with the same grace, dignity and flair as traditional dancers.

("Nutcracker"???   I would have thought it would have to be renamed "Ballbuster"...)

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SARAJEVO (Reuters) - Sarajevo artists raised a monument to canned beef on Friday in a gesture ridiculing donors for providing such an unpopular food as humanitarian aid during the Bosnian capital's 1992-95 siege.

"The Monument to the International Community" from the "Grateful Citizens of Sarajevo" reads an inscription at the marble foundation of the 1-metre-high golden can of beef.

Bosnians have accused the international community of not allowing them to defend themselves after imposing an arms embargo in the 1990s, while feeding them with outdated canned food instead.

"The message is clear," said Dunja Blazevic of the Centre for Contemporary Art, which launched the initiative placing the work by artist Nebojsa Seric Soba in the centre of Sarajevo.

"The Ikar canned beef is remembered by the people of Sarajevo with disgust. Cats and dogs did not want to eat it and people had to," she said. "Everybody agreed that we should do the project in this way. It's witty, ironic and artistic."

At least 100,000 people were killed during the Bosnian war, 10 percent of them in Sarajevo alone through constant shelling and sniping by Bosnian Serb forces from the surrounding hills.