Subject: Daily Dose - 070401 - hundred baby chickens, THIS is TRUE, reminder, DDL, Rotten News

A city slicker moves to the country and decides he’s going to take up farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, “Give me a hundred baby chickens.”

The co-op man complies. A week later the man returns and says, “Give me two hundred baby chickens.” The co-op man complies.

Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, “Give me five-hundred baby chickens.”

“Wow! The co-op man replies “You must really be doing well!”

“Naw,” said the man with a sigh. “I’m either planting them too deep or too far apart!”

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THIS is TRUE...

THIS AIN'T MAYBERRY: A rookie police officer in Los Angeles, Calif., arrested a suspect after a gang shootout. The rookie patted the suspect down, but as he was leading him away the suspect pulled out a gun and shot another officer, a 12-year veteran. His body armor saved him, and other officers shot and killed the shooter. The veteran officer was named -- Andy Taylor (Los Angeles Times)-- but the rookie was not....Barney Fife.

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THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED: Two convicted murderers are among 13 escapees from a prison in Sudbury, Derbyshire, England, in recent months. But most of the men, including the murderers, are still at large because police won't release their photos, since that could breach their human rights. "When making a decision to release any photograph, police forces must take into account numerous factors including the public interest test," lectured a police spokesman, "whether there is a strong local policing purpose and, of course, the Human Rights and Data Protection Acts." So now what? The spokesman said by escaping, the felons "abuse the trust we have placed in them," and "it's up to us to trace their whereabouts." (PA)
...While it's up to the public to worry about how the police abuse the trust we have placed in them.

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GET A LIFE: Blogger Darren Barefoot of Vancouver, B.C., Canada, says he's not anti-"Second Life", the online virtual world game with the slogan "Your World. Your Imagination." But the hype for "SL" has gotten to the point where Barefoot created a one-page parody site, GetAFirstLife.com, with the slogan "Your World. Sorry About That." where one can "Work, Reproduce, Perish." His site invited "Comments or cease and desist letters," but Linden Research, Inc., the San Francisco, Calif., company which owns SL, isn't biting. "Linden Lab objects to any implication that it would employ lawyers incapable of distinguishing such obvious parody," its lawyer wrote to Barefoot, and "your invitation to submit a cease-and-desist letter is hereby rejected." (AP)
...Corporations with a sense of humor, and lawyers with common sense? Wow: Second Life really is a fantasy world.

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THE LAST LAUGH: Kanawha County, W.V., Sheriff Mike Rutherford noticed a car weaving into his lane. Driving in an unmarked vehicle, Rutherford saw the car get behind him, and then start to tailgate him. "I thought he was going to ram me," he said. "He'd come right on my bumper, then he would just back off," so he got on the radio to see if a marked unit was available to come stop the driver. That's when the other driver made his move. "He was looking directly at me, giving me the finger and just ran into the guardrail," Rutherford said. Glenn Harold Vickers, 53, was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving. (Charleston Daily Mail)
 ...Give one finger to a cop, and odds are he'll want the rest.

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I GUESS THIS MEANS SHE LOST: "Woman Hospitalized after Trivial Pursuit Game"
-- Chicago Sun-Times headline

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Because I had forgotten the dates for a number of my friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on. I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced.

"Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked.

"Have you tried a wife?" he replied.

______________________________

DDL

A nudist who was indescreet,
Loved to dance in the snow and the sleet.
But one chilly December,
He froze off his member,
And retired to a monkish retreat.

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"No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it."
--Charles M. Schulz

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"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left."
--Oscar Levant

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"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."
--Gustave Flaubert

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"New Jersey is trying to make it illegal to smoke in a car while children are in the car with you. Do you think that will do much good? Which is worse? The smoke in the car or the air in New Jersey?"
--Jay Leno

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"You know what happened earlier tonight? The State of the Union address. The speech was so dull, behind President Bush, Nancy Pelosi and Dick Cheney were making out."
--Dave Letterman

***

"World Cup soccer fans in Germany are estimated at drinking 17 pints of beer per day. Apparently after 17 beers soccer becomes interesting."
--Conan O'Brien

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Rotten News....  (true)

Man crossed river to avoid 'bank charges'

A Canadian rescued from a rubber raft in near-zero conditions told rescuers he was paddling to the US to avoid bank charges. Wayne Kingwell, 40, ended up spending five hours on the Niagara River before he was rescued, reports Buffalo News.

He claimed he regularly crosses from his home in Fort Erie, Ontario, to Buffalo - using a small aluminum boat or the raft - to do his banking.

"He said he was coming across the river to pay off the balance of his credit card," Flynn said.

Kingwell claimed he was charged an $85 fee if he mails the payment, so he crosses the river each month instead.

There is a bridge - but Mr Kingwell claimed he was not allowed to use it because of a legal dispute with the Canadian government.

When he was rescued, authorities said, Kingwell was carrying more than $3,000 cash - enough to pay off a credit card bill that he really does owe.

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Latest must-have for baby -- a pram with aircon?

Mon Feb 5, 9:43 AM ET

TEL AVIV (Reuters) - Most parents worried about their baby getting too hot in a pram will adjust blankets or head for shade, but one dad wanted a more high tech solution for his young daughter -- a portable air conditioner.

"At first I was trying to cool her off with a hand-held fan. Then I thought of a much simpler idea -- a little air conditioner," Israeli Ofir Ben Aharon told Reuters.

The device, which weighs less than 2 kg (4.4 lb) looks like a motorised fan attached to the end of about a half-metre long pipe that can be fitted under a typical pram.

An air vent connected to the other side of the pipe is fitted with a puppet so it can be propped inside, looking like just another of baby's stuffed toys.

Ben Aharon says he wants to market the battery-operated machine in Europe and the United States in the next few months, although he has not yet come up with a retail price.

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Malaysian switched at birth wants to switch religion

Sat Feb 3, 1:00 AM ET

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - A Malaysian Muslim man switched at birth in a hospital mix-up wants to change his name after being reunited with his ethnic-Chinese biological family and become a Buddhist.

In multiracial Malaysia, ethnic Malays, who are mostly Muslim, form a majority of the population of roughly 26 million, while ethnic Chinese and ethnic Indians account for about 25 percent and 8 percent respectively.

Sales executive Zulhaidi Omar, 29, was raised in an ethnic Malay family, and discovered his true origins only after a Chinese woman at a supermarket where he worked noticed his features were similar to those of her father, newspapers said.

"The girl who was always looking at me was actually my elder sister who suspected that I was her brother because of my striking resemblance to our father," the Star newspaper quoted Zulhaidi as telling reporters.

Three visits by the girl and her parents convinced him to take a DNA test that confirmed the ties, he added.

Zulhaidi, who unwittingly spent 20 years just a few miles from his real family, now lives with them in Batu Pahat in southern Johor state. But it took him six months before he began to call his parents "Mum" and "Dad".

His natural father, Teo Ma Leong, 66, said he had always suspected the fifth of his six children was switched at birth, because the boy had a dark complexion, the Star said.

Now Zulhaidi wants to renounce Islam and take a Chinese name.

Whether Muslims can convert to another faith is a tricky legal question in Malaysia, where Islam is the official religion, although freedom of worship is a constitutional right.

Ethnic Malays are deemed to be Muslim from birth, but the country's highest civil court has yet to rule on whether they have the right to convert to another religion.

The family was also contemplating a suit against the Batu Pahat hospital over the mix-up that split and traumatised it, the New Straits Times newspaper added.

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Alcohol legal in Kuwait

Kuwait Times
Published Date: April 01, 2007

KUWAIT: In a surprise move aimed at fostering tourism, Kuwait's government announced yesterday that alcohol would be legalised in Kuwait starting May 25 after more than 40 years of prohibition. Alcohol will be available only in five star establishments or at state liquor outlets and sold only to non-Muslim expatriates holding a liquor-consuming ration cards.

Each expatriate will be allowed five bottles of liquor or 100 bottles of beer per month at government regulated stores. Any Muslim caught buying or consuming alcohol will face stiff penalties.

In December 1964, Kuwait's government banned all liquor within its borders following a series of drunken driving fatalities, primarily of citizens. Prohibition triggered a flourishing underground bootlegging trade both in smuggled alcohol and bathtub gin.

This past week, international beverage firm Eastern Liquors has won the sole distribution license and will be partnering with local establishments for sales and marketing. EL is a regional leader in beverage distribution, with operations in Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Doha and Manama.

Sources within the security forces told Kuwait Times that a special squad of 225 local police have already undergone training in the United Arab Emirates and Britain for handling drunk drivers. Persons caught driving while intoxicated face up to five years in jail and a KD 10,000 fine.

(Damn shame this report came out April 1st......)