Subject: Daily Dose - 060218 - Frederick II, BIZARRE NEWS, not scared of anybody, DDL, Rotten News

Consider the case of Frederick II, an 18th-century king of Prussia. Frederick fancied himself an enlightened monarch, and in some respects he was. On one occasion, he is supposed to have interested himself in the conditions of a Berlin prison. He was escorted through it so that he might speak to the prisoners.

One after the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before him, bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter innocence of all charges that had been brought against them.

Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick's curiosity was aroused.

"You," he called. "You, there!"

The prisoner looked up. "Yes, your majesty?"

"Why are you here?"

"Armed robbery, your majesty."

"And are you guilty?"

"Entirely guilty, your majesty. I richly deserve my punishment."

At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and said, "Warden, release this guilty wretch at once. I will not have him here in jail where by example he will corrupt all the splendid innocent people who occupy it."

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BIZARRE NEWS...

Boyfriend Gives The Kiss of Death - Literally

SAGUENAY, Quebec - Sometimes a kiss is more than just a kiss. In the case of 15-year-old Christina Desforges, a kiss from her boyfriend meant her death.

Desforges' boyfriend had just eaten a peanut butter snack before giving her a kiss. The problem - she was allergic to peanuts and it caused a severe allergic reaction, hospital officials said.

Desforges was taken to the hospital and given a shot of adrenaline, but doctors were unable to treat the reaction.

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New Condoms To Make 'Huge' Debut

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - Guys, want to make a "big" first impression with your new lady? Soon you'll be able to with a new condom featuring the brand name "HUGE."

Although they're not any bigger than the normal variety, these prophylactics come in a slightly larger package with the word HUGE displayed in big letters.

A news release promotes HUGE condoms as bringing fun to safe sex. According to company founder Dexter Gabbard, they're aiming to give a witty, clever edge to the product.

The HUGE condoms will be available first in Florida, with a national roll-out anticipated sometime next year.

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Looks Like Ronald McDonald is Really the Hamburglar

MANCHESTER, N.H. - Talk about irony - a New Hampshire man named Ronald MacDonald has been charged with stealing cash from the safe at a Wendy's restaurant where he works.

The store manager called Manchester police early Monday when he discovered two men taking cash from the office safe. He detained MacDonald, 22, and Steven Lemay, 20, until police arrived, the Manchester Union-Leader reported.

The booking affidavit said MacDonald told the store manager that while Lemay acted as a look-out, he used his driver's license to pick the lock to the office.

After repeated requests, MacDonald returned the $133 that had been taken.

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And You Thought A Back Seat Driver Was Bad...

OTTAWA - Canada is testing an electronic nagger as a way of getting motorists to slow down.

The devices use GPS technology to make the accelerator hard to press when they exceed the posted speed limit by a fixed percentage. They are loaded with a digital map of the speed limit.

Transport Canada has fitted up the cars of 10 Ottawa-area drivers with the Swedish-made devices, the Toronto Globe and Mail reports. Another 10 volunteers are testing a commercially available device that uses a blue warning light and a voice warning when drivers go too fast.

Peter Burns of Transport Canada said speeding is a factor in 25 percent of fatal crashes in Canada.

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At the pub, a little blonde guy exchanged words with a big bald guy, and it looked like they were about to go to blows.

"You've got a lot of nerve for such a shrimp!" snarled the big guy.

"Look, you big jerk," barked the little blonde guy, "I'm not scared of anybody, or anything! I come from a long line of jumpers. My great-grandfather jumped with no parachute from a balloon. My grand-father jumped without a 'chute from a biplane. My mother and father both jumped from a jet. And tomorrow, I jump from a rocket!"

"You're crazy, you little twerp," said the big guy. "You could be killed!"

"So what?" said the little blonde guy. "I have no family!"

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DDL

There was a young lady of Totten
Whose tastes grew perverted and rotten.
She cared not for steaks,
Or for pastry and cakes,
But lived upon penis au gratin.

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"The rioters are said to be upset because they are immigrants who have been treated poorly by the French. What? French people treating foreigners rudely? I can't believe that!"
--Jay Leno

***

"Regis Philbin and Donald Trump have recorded a CD full of Christmas music. It's doing very well overseas. The police in Paris are using it to disperse rioters."
--Dave Letterman

[Gotta love that topical humor.]

***  

"Today is Election Day. In New Jersey they're voting for governor. As we speak it is way to close - not the race, but New Jersey I mean."
--Conan O'Brien

***

How do you know you're living in Tennessee?
You get married for the third time and have the same in-laws.

***

"My objective? Well I object to taking a girl out, you know, and buying her dinner and then she won't put out for you."
-- Emmett Fitz-Hume (Chevy Chase) Spies Like Us

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Rotten News....  (true)

Old prostitutes find work in rural Australia-study

Tue Nov 29, 4:27 AM ET

CANBERRA (Reuters) - Prostitutes as old as 70 continue to work in rural Australia, pushed out of the cities due to strong competition from younger and more attractive sex workers, the author of a study said on Tuesday.

Brothels are legal across most of Australia, but states have strict laws against soliciting and running brothels in residential areas, and near churches or schools.

The research, by John Scott of the University of New England, examined prostitution in rural areas of New South Wales state. He found the sex industry has flourished in rural towns, with many prostitutes making regular visits.

"I've likened some of them to travelling musicians, in that some of them might be based in metropolitan centres and they go out and travel -- they tour the bush," Scott told Reuters.

He said a sex worker might pass through a country town every couple of months, but would advertise in advance and book up appointments. He said sex workers in rural areas tended to be older, and provide more companionship than city sex workers.

Scott examined ads in rural newspapers and talked to sex workers for his study. He said the oldest sex worker he spoke to was 58 years old, but those interviewed reported working with older women in their 60s and one as old as 70.

Scott said rural clients tended to be more polite, and be interested in company as well as sex.

"A lot of the time these blokes just want a bit of a cuddle, or to talk," he said.

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Longer needles needed for fatter buttocks - study

Mon Nov 28, 1:48 PM ET

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Fatter rear ends are causing many drug injections to miss their mark, requiring longer needles to reach buttock muscle, researchers said on Monday.

Standard-sized needles failed to reach the buttock muscle in 23 out of 25 women whose rears were examined after what was supposed to be an intramuscular injection of a drug.

Two-thirds of the 50 patients in the study did not receive the full dosage of the drug, which instead lodged in the fat tissue of their buttocks, researchers from The Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Dublin said in a presentation to the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America.

Besides patients receiving less than the correct drug dosage, medications that remain lodged in fat can cause infection or irritation, researchers Victoria Chan said.

"There is no question that obesity is the underlying cause. We have identified a new problem related, in part, to the increasing amount of fat in patients' buttocks," Chan said. "The amount of fat tissue overlying the muscles exceeds the length of the needles commonly used for these injections," she said.

The buttocks are a good place for intramuscular injections because there are relatively few major blood vessels, nerves and bones that can be damaged by a needle. Plentiful smaller blood vessels found in muscle carry the drug to the rest of the body, while fat tissue contains relatively few blood vessels.

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Lingerie Store Window Has Live Models

AUGUSTA, Maine - In this town, window shopping is attracting a lot more guys than usual. A lingerie store called Spellbound is grabbing attention with live models in the window. Some people have complained, but police say there is nothing illegal about the lingerie models.

"It's tainting the wholesome businesses down here," said Carrie Rossignol, co-owner of Video Game Exchange. "I think it's selfish, and I think it's morally reprehensible."

Another downtown merchant likes the idea, saying the models are attracting more potential customers to the area.

"It's like a New York thing. It's urban. It's edgy," said Stacy Gervais, owner of Stacy's Hallmark Store and a founder of a downtown merchants group. "We need a shtick — something that we do that attracts people and gets us remembered."

Spellbound owner Felicia Stockford said she has had no trouble finding staffers. She said the young women enjoy strutting their stuff in the shop window.