Subject: Daily Dose - 060205 - Commandments, BIZARRE NEWS, debt, DDL, Rotten News

God came down and first he went to the Germans and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better."

And the Germans asked, "What are Commandments?"

And the Lord said, "Rules for living."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shalt not kill."

"Not kill? We're not interested."

So He went to the Italians and said, "I have Commandments."

And the Italians wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal."

"Not steal? We're not interested."

He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."

The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife."

"Not covet my neighbor's wife? We're not interested."

He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."

"Commandments? How much are they?"

"They're free."

"Good then, we'll take 10!"

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BIZARRE NEWS...

Bizarre Abraham Lincoln Facts

During the 1860 Republican National Convention, his campaign managers forged convention passes in order to pack the galleries with Lincoln supporters, shutting out hundreds of his opponent's supporters in the process.

Lincoln hated being called "Abe" - friends called him Lincoln.

Although Lincoln's voice is often portrayed in movies as being deep and booming, his actual voice was high-pitched, piercing and shrill.

Lincoln wasn't always honest: After one trip to Springfield, Illinois, he filed for compensation for the 3,252 miles he claimed to have traveled. The actual length of the trip was 1,800 miles.

He really did carry important documents in his stovepipe hat.

About a week before his assassination, Lincoln had a dream in which he "awoke" to the sound of sobbing and went to the East Room of the White House - which had been prepared for a funeral. When he asked a guard who had died, he replied: "The President."

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Man Finds Himself in Sticky Situation

GREENSBURG, Pa. - A Pittsburgh man is seeking damages from the former girlfriend who has admitted supergluing his genitals and buttocks together while he was asleep.

Kenneth Slaby told a jury that he was in "severe pain" when he woke up. He was also puzzled because his head was painted with nail polish.

"I was more worried about my groin because I was all stuck together," he said.

Slaby and Gail O'Toole had had a rocky relationship even before their final breakup. They dated, broke up and got back together in May 2000. Then Slaby spent a weekend at O'Toole's home and made the mistake of nodding off.

In her testimony, O'Toole, who pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault, admitted the gluing. But she said that Slaby took it as a joke, telling jurors he "laughed quite a lot."

***

Fossils Caught in the Act

LUCKNOW, India - Scientists in India were amazed to find two fossils stuck together in sexual union...for 65 million years. This is the first time that sexual intercourse has been seen in a fossil state, according to the findings.

However, unless you have a microscope, you won't be able to view the miniscule lovers. The fossils are tiny swarm cells that reproduce by "fusing." When the cells fuse, threadlike appendages known as flagella are lost.

The fact that the fossils were found in a fused position with their flagella shed is proof that the cells were indeed having sex.

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Trendy Home - $60,000; Blushing Bride - Priceless

DENVER - A businesswoman who wants to sell her house in Denver and acquire a husband decided to do both at once.

Deborah Hale is asking $600,000 for the bungalow-style home. She lists herself as priceless. She is seeking a compatible man who would like to spend his life with her.

"I'm looking for my soul mate," Hale told the Rocky Mountain News Tuesday. Hale said that she has received about 60 responses to her ad so far.

"I have to say that the e-mails that I have got have been very kind and very nice," she said. She has set Valentine's Day as the deadline for meeting that special person.

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Seagull Thought To Have Bird Flu Was Actually Drunk

SUNDSVALL, Sweden - A seagull in Sweden thought to be under the weather was actually just under the influence.

Veterinarians in Sundsvall thought the bird flu virus had made its way to Sweden after recent reports of sick poultry in other parts of Europe. They found the gull with yellow liquid coming out of its beak and anus, The Local reports.

The seagull was on its back and kicking its legs. Lab results showed that the seagull, which was put to sleep, was actually drunk.

Experts believe the bird ate yeast at a garbage dump.

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A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?"

"Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.

"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer.

"But it's only $500," replied the man.

"Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him."

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DDL

Said a just-wed professor named Ted,
To a redhead coed in his bed,
"The weather's so snowy,
And gusty and blowy,
Won't you swallow my pride, dear, instead?"

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"It's TGIF. Do you know what that means? Thanksgiving is finished."
--Jay Leno

***

"Every Thanksgiving this happens with every family, either before or after the dinner. At some point someone turns to mom and says, 'How long has dad been drinking like this?'"
--Dave Letterman

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"According to a new survey one out of five New Yorkers is obese. As a result New York is thinking of changing its name to Wisconsin."
--Conan O'Brien

***

The American colonists said, 'We discovered new lands and territories.' Hey, if you believe that, I can go to court and say, 'Your honor, I was exploring some fire escapes and discovered this man's apartment. I planted my flag in his living room and now all his stuff is mine!'"
--Warren Hutcherson

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"There's a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They prefer to buy the bird live and then push it in front of a subway train."
--Dave Letterman

***

"If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing."
--Benjamin Franklin

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Rotten News....  (true)

December 6, 2005

State trooper or panhandler? Drivers fooled

By Jennifer Sullivan

Seattle Times staff reporter

In the three years since state lawmakers gave cops the go-ahead to pull over people for not wearing seat belts, the State Patrol has become creative about spotting scofflaws.

But one new approach has raised a few eyebrows — while providing results troopers call impressive.

On Saturday, a trooper stood on a street corner in Spanaway, Pierce County, and helped bust 30 people for not wearing their seat belts. The trooper, wearing plain clothes and a cardboard sign around his neck that read "Happy Holidays Buckle Up," was able to keep a close eye on passing traffic from the southeast corner of Highway 7 and 112th Street East. When he spotted someone who wasn't wearing a seat belt, the trooper radioed fellow troopers parked nearby who pulled over the offender.

In four hours, 41 cars were stopped and 30 seat-belt tickets, costing violators $101 per infraction, were handed out, Trooper J.J. Gundermann said. Troopers also made one drug arrest and six outstanding-warrant arrests.

Some motorists, seeing a man on the roadside wearing a sign, offered him money, apparently figuring he was a panhandler, the State Patrol said. The trooper refused the money.

While the tactic proved successful, some are questioning whether it was proper.

University of Washington criminal-law professor John Junker said police have a right to work in an undercover capacity. They also have a right to penalize people for what can be seen in plain view — such as not wearing a seat belt.

The seat-belt operation was first used last month in Vancouver, Wash. Dressed in a windbreaker, jeans and a baseball cap, Sgt. Jason Linn smiled as he held up a cardboard sign wishing motorists a happy holiday season and urging them to buckle up. Again, some motorists thought he was panhandling and offered him money.

One passenger rolled down his window, hollered obscenities at Linn and hurled a half-full can of soda before he realized Linn was a trooper. The man was given a $1,050 littering ticket. A 15-year-old who was driving the car was cited for not having a valid license and for allegedly stealing his father's rental car, Kesler said.

Several of the people caught in the Vancouver bust were agitated by the operation, and one person called it "slick," Kesler said. But Gundermann, the Pierce County trooper, said people stopped in Spanaway were supportive.

"We got real positive feedback," Gundermann said. "One of the gals we stopped thought it was a great idea."

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India to appeal for clemency against Saudi sentence

December 06, 2005 11:45 IST

The Indian embassy in Saudi Arabia is going to make an appeal for royal clemency for a jailed expatriate worker following a court order that his one eye be gouged out for partially blinding a Saudi national in a fight.

Abdul Lateef Naushad, 34, from Kerala got into a fight with a Saudi man and injured him in 2003. The Saudi man reportedly lost sight in one eye several weeks later.

According to the sentence by a court in Dammam, one of Naushad's eyes should be gouged out as punishment for causing the injury to the Saudi. The case has now been transferred to the higher court in Riyadh following an appeal.

"The Indian Embassy will make an appeal for royal clemency," an embassy official was quoted as saying by the Arab News.

Naushad's wife Sulekha, 30, and their two children live in Kerala. Naushad has not seen his three-year-old daughter because he has been in jail for the last three years.

According to Naushad's colleagues, a settlement appears remote as the Saudi man refuses to accept monetary compensation or pardon the Indian despite concerted efforts by the defendant's lawyer and his employer.

In a similar case recently, the same sentence was given to an Egyptian who threw acid into the eyes of a Saudi.

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Arsonist Torched Himself, Court Hears

Mon Dec 5, 6:24 PM ET

BRISBANE, Australia - A bungling arsonist who allegedly tried three times to torch a hairdressing salon ended up setting himself ablaze, an Australian court heard Monday.

Shane Long was allegedly hired to set fire to the salon by neighboring shop owner Erich Alexander Sorger.

Prosecutor Kate Youngson told Brisbane District Court that Sorger, who has pleaded innocent to four arson charges, set fire to his TV repair shop in the east coast city of Brisbane in March 2004 and then hired Long to set fire to the hairdressing salon, in a possible attempt to throw police off the scent.

But Long, who allegedly was paid 400 Australian dollars ($300), proved to be a hapless arsonist, failing on three separate occasions to set the salon alight and ending up torching his own clothes with a petrol bomb, Youngson said. He was not injured.

Long has been charged with being an accessory to the arson. His case is being dealt with separately.