Subject: Daily Dose - 050427 - Missing Husband, TRUE Stella Awards, weekend pass, DDL, Rotten News

Missing Husband

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer in charge looked at the photograph she handed him, questioned her, and then asked if she wished to give her husband any message if they found him.

"Yes," she quickly replied. "Tell him...Mother didn't come"

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Hey Martha....  (true)

March 15, 2005 

Theme is to shiver as you drink at ice-cold bar in steamy Singapore

SINGAPORE (AP) - It's not only the drinks that are ice cold at the Eski Bar, a new nightspot in tropical Singapore. The room temperature is so cold that staff wear heavy coats and ski caps, and patrons get a 10 per cent discount if they show up in winter wear.

The bar contains a decorated, industrial strength freezer, with the mercury ranging from -2C to just above zero. The goal is to attract thirsty clientele who need a break from the round-the-clock, sweltering, Southeast Asian heat.

So far, the gimmick is working. The directors of Eski Bar, which officially opened this month near Singapore's Chinatown, plan to open another, larger outlet next month.

"It's a very clean look. They get a lot of women coming in groups," said Violet Oon, a public relations consultant to the bar project. "It's not a traditional idea of a night place. Everything is white and ice blue. If you go inside, it's like an igloo. There's wraparound upholstery. Perhaps it's psychological, they feel cocooned from the world."

Eski Bar features a "freezer" room with glass mosaic tiles on the bar counter, an alternative to a stainless steel surface that might be sticky and painful for patrons' elbows.

There's also a "chiller" room, where the temperature is a more normal 18C, and an outdoor area for those who can't stand the cold.

The decor features ceiling and wall lights shaped like melting ice cubes, as well as a transparent plastic curtain at the entrance to keep out the heat. Beer and white spirits such as vodka are served ice cold, and one cocktail is called Sleeping Polar Bear.

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January 18, 2005 

Seeing-eye dog delays NBA game

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) - Who didn't let the dog out?

A stink was raised during halftime of the Detroit Pistons-Orlando Magic NBA game on Tuesday night when the start of the second half was delayed by three minutes after a seeing-eye dog relieved itself on the court. The dog was with a charity organization, Canine Companions for Independence, that was receiving a $10,000 US donation from the Orlando Magic Youth Foundation.

When the Pistons came out for warmups, Rasheed Wallace walked up to the lane where the excrement had fallen, stopped and stared in disbelief. His teammates were just as confused before wide smiles broke out.

A custodian was enlisted to scoop up the mess and wipe up the remains with cleaner, a mop and towels.

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Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out weekend passes, I thought I had a good reason.

"My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the C.O. Much to my surprise he said, "Permission granted."

Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a weekend pass. His wife wasn't pregnant, so when the C.O. asked why he should grant him permission, my friend responded, "My wife is getting pregnant this weekend and I want to be with her."

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DDL

From the crypt of the church of St. Giles
Came screams that were heard round for miles.
"Oh bloody good gracious"
Cried Father Ignatius,
"I forgot that his lordship had piles."

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"It's Chinese New Year. It's the year of the rooster. The funny thing is I'm still writing year of the monkey on my checks."
--Dave Letterman

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"I've been using that joke since the year of the donkey."
--Dave Letterman

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"Budweiser announced they are coming out with a beer that has caffeine in it. "I am so tired in the morning. I really don't get moving until I have my first cup of beer."
--Jay Leno

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"I thought I had PMS, but my doctor said, 'I've got good news and bad news. The good news is, you don't have PMS. The bad news is, you're a bitch.'"
--Rhonda Bates

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"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
--President George W. Bush

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Rotten News....  (true)

January 12, 2005 

Bank accidentally recycles ATM

OSLO, Norway (AP) — Arild Tofte and Kaare Heggdal know that recycling pays, but they weren’t quite prepared for the jackpot that a scrapped cash machine contained.

It was still full of cash. Enough to buy a house and take a luxury vacation. The two Norwegians run a recycling company in the western Norway town of Aaroedalen, and had been hired by the Sparebanken Moere bank to remove an outdated automatic teller machine from a gas station.

Tofte, 30, said the woman on duty at the gas station was more than a little skeptical when two men showed up with a trolley and a truck, wanting to remove her ATM.

“She calmed down when I explained that the machine was empty and that we had a contract to pick it up,” Tofte told the local Romsdals Budstikke newspaper.

During their rounds to pick up more scrap, they got a call saying a security guard was seeking the machine.

“The guy was apparently a bit agitated,” said Tofte. “He was very eager to empty the cash from the machine.”

The cash was removed. The bank — which blamed the incident on a communications mix-up — didn’t say how much was in the ATM. But Tofte said the guard who emptied the machine told him it was enough to buy a house, take a luxury vacation and still have money to burn.

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Billboard targets mulesing

From correspondents in Los Angeles

December 23, 2004

AMERICAN animal rights activists have erected a large, gruesome billboard near one of the busiest thoroughfares in the US as the next step in their campaign to create a worldwide boycott of Australian wool.

The billboard holds nothing back and will be seen by almost 100,000 US motorists and pedestrians a day.

It is dominated by a photo of a sheep's mutilated, bleeding rear end after undergoing the controversial mulesing technique favoured by some Australian farmers.

Alongside the giant photo are the easily read words: "Did Your Sweater Cause a Bloody Butt? Boycott Australian Wool!"

PETA is behind a high-profile campaign to stop Australian farmers using mulesing and to ban the live export of Australian sheep in what the group describes as cruel conditions.

Mulesing involves farmers cutting pieces of skin from a sheep's behind. The technique is used to prevent flystrike in the animals.

Australia is the largest producer and exporter of wool, accounting for 28 per cent worldwide.

AAP

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Men Arrested for Dumping Dirt in a Forest

Wed Dec 1, 9:33 AM ET

COEUR D'ALENE, Idaho - Two men have been arrested for dumping dirt in a national forest. The Kootenai County Sheriff's Department said the men, who have not been publicly identified, were arrested at a garage in Coeur d'Alene where the dirt had been removed and the base apparently prepared for paving.

Deputy Robert Gomez said the U.S. Forest Service confirmed that it was illegal to dump anything, including dirt, on the federal land.

Gomez said he asked the two men about dumping dirt in the national forest "and they went off on a tirade about Mother Earth."

The deputy quoted the pair as saying they had taken "perfectly good dirt" from the garage area and dumped it under a big fir tree where they used rakes to spread the soil to make it look nice.

"They both said it was a good job having given back the dirt to Mother Earth," Gomez said.