Subject: Daily Dose - 050221 - No See, BIZARRE NEWS, issues with sex, DDL, Rotten News

No See

Tom pays a visit to a gorgeous young prostitute. After two hours of exhausting great sex he says, "Now you won't see me for a while."

The prostitute regrets to see a good customer leave and asks, "Are you too busy next week to pay me a visit?"

"No sweety, that's not what I mean. Please turn around..."

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BIZARRE NEWS......

Bizarre College Courses

At Georgetown University, you can boldly go where no other philosophy student has gone before in the "Philosophy and Star Trek" course, where students discuss the nature of time travel, the ability of computers to think and feel, and other philosophical dilemmas faced by the crew of the Starship Enterprise.

Students analyze the plots, themes, and characters of day-time soaps and discuss their impact on modern life in the University of Wisconsin's course entitled "Daytime Serials: Family and Social Roles."

If students wish to research how hot dogs, amusement parks, and the five-day workweek have impacted American leisure culture, they can take the University of Iowa course "The American Vacation." They'll learn how American families' varying backgrounds shape their vacation experiences.

Students at Bowdoin College can enroll in "The Horror Film in Context" in the school's English Department. Students read Freud and Poe and watch Hitchcock and Craven, all while discussing the horror genre's treatment of gender, class, and family.

At Williams College, students can learn more about those in the cement shoe industry by enrolling in "Comparative History of Organized Crime," which compares the work of goodfellas from the United States, Italy, Japan, and Russia.

Barnard College offers a course on "The Road Movie," which studies Easy Rider and Thelma and Louise, while also discussing the genre's literary precursors, like On the Road and The Odyssey.

Contemplate the relationship between sin and the art world at the Rhode Island School of Design's "The Art of Sin and the Sin of Art." The course catalog invites you to "lust with the saints and burn with the sinners."

At Centre College in Danville, Kentucky, students can take "Art of Walking," in which students not only read literature by noted perambulators like Kant and Nietzsche, but go for neighborhood strolls with their professor and his dog.

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Starting Off on the Wrong Foot

TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico - Even though it was his left foot that was infected, a patient emerged from surgery for his shocked family to discover that the doctor had amputated his right leg!

The patient, Alberto Lopez, had been admitted to a public hospital to seek treatment for a foot wound aggravated by diabetes. However, he came out of surgery with his right leg missing - and the original infection still intact.

According to his daughter, as of Sunday the elderly man still did not know that the wrong limb had been amputated.

Hospital director Jesus Siman acknowledged that a mistake was made and said the responsible doctor had been removed from the hospital while authorities investigate the incident.

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There's No Place Like Home

FORT VALLEY, Ga. - Some people will do anything to get home to their family. One man walked almost two miles with a bullet hole in his head to die surrounded by loved ones if that was his fate.

Larry Taylor had been walking to a friend's house when a man came up to him and asked to use his cell phone. When Taylor said no, the robber pulled out a gun and shot him in the head.

Bleeding severely from the wound, Taylor stumbled through the streets until he made it to his mother's house, only to discover she had moved to a nursing home.

After all this, Taylor was finally reunited with his family and was able to spend Christmas recovering from the trauma.

***

Robber Locks Keys in Getaway Car

LAKE STATION, Ind. - Nothing ever turns out the way you wanted no matter how much you plan. Dan Griggs was in the process of carrying out his plan to rob a convenience store when he locked his keys inside the getaway car.

That was only the beginning for Griggs. The convenience store he allegedly robbed was located right across the street from the police station.

Officers watched as Griggs smashed his car's window with a broom to gain access. Griggs was captured after a brief chase ended in a head-on crash with a squad-car.

He's now being held on a robbery charge without bond.

***

Resort for Guests to Rest, Relax and Reload

MONTROSE, Colo. - The Elk Mountain Resort is encouraging its guests to bring their guns along and get off a couple shots.

The new luxury resort offers a firearms training course and the chance to fire at a multitude of thugs, criminals and hijackers in a three-floor complex.

The resort's owner, Thomas Forman, charges up to $2,000 per night which includes gourmet meals, a cigar lounge and vintage wine.

Sounds like the perfect place for your next anniversary. Bring ear plugs.

_________________________

Phil goes to the school therapist. During the session, the therapist asks, "How is your sex life?"

"I have a lot of issues with sex," Phil replies.

"What kind of issues?" the therapist asks.

"Oh, mostly Hustler and Penthouse."

__________________________

DDL

There's an over-sexed lady named Whyte
Who insists on a dozen a night.
A fellow named Cheddar
Had the brashness to wed her -
And his chance of survival is slight.

___________________________

"A Washington state supreme court has ruled it's illegal for a parent to eavesdrop on their children's phone conversations without their consent. So the state is telling parents they can't listen to "their" kids on the phone they pay for. And of course, once the kid commits a crime, who does the state blame? The parents."
--Jay Leno

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"Today I was walking down 5th Avenue and that apartment building hawk swooped down and snatched my toupee."
--Dave Letterman

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My grandpa told me to remember two things in life. Look out for Number One, and remember your number.
--Orville Cogswell

***

"May I try on that dress in the window?" Vickie asks the manager of the designer boutique.

"Go ahead," the manager replies, "Maybe it'll attract some business."

***

The lion and the calf shall lie down together, but the calf won't get much sleep.
--Woody Allen

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Rotten News.... (true)

Girl, 10, Cuffed for Scissors in School

Sat Dec 11, 4:03 PM ET

PHILADELPHIA - A 10-year-old girl was placed in handcuffs and taken to a police station because she took a pair of scissors to her elementary school.

School district officials said the fourth-grade student did not threaten anyone with the 8-inch shears, but violated a rule that considers scissors to be potential weapons.

Administrators said they were following state law when they called police Thursday, and police said they were following department rules when they handcuffed Porsche Brown and took her away in a patrol wagon.

"My daughter cried and cried," said her mother, Rose Jackson. "She had no idea what she did was wrong. I think that was way too harsh."

Police officers decided the girl hadn't committed a crime and let her go.

However, school officials suspended her for five days. Administrators will decide at a hearing whether she may return to class, or be expelled to a special disciplinary school.

The scissors were discovered while students' belongings were being searched for property missing from a teacher's desk.

School district officials have promised a crackdown on unruly students this year, and new policies give administrators the power to expel students for infractions as minor as violating the dress code, chronic tardiness or habitual swearing.

Administrators say the steps are needed to regain control over a notoriously unruly school system, but some parents have complained that discipline has been overly harsh and that school officials have been too quick to call police about minor problems.

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Pa. Police Apologize for Scissors Arrest

Mon Dec 13, 9:56 PM ET

By MARYCLAIRE DALE, Associated Press Writer

PHILADELPHIA - The police chief and the head of the city's schools apologized Monday to the mother of a 10-year-old girl who was arrested and handcuffed after she brought a pair of scissors to school in her backpack.

Although officers were following protocol when they drove the girl to a police station with her hands cuffed in front of her, discretion will be used in future cases involving young children, Police Chief Sylvester Johnson said.

Johnson said he told Rose Jackson that the arrest of her daughter, Porsche Brown, was "extremely unfortunate" and apologized for "any trauma that her daughter experienced" on her way to the station.

The girl's suspension, initially set for five days, was amended to two days and she was expected to return to class Tuesday, district spokeswoman Barbara Farley said Monday. She said she knew of no plans to expunge the suspension.

********

German pensioner duped by naked invitation

Mon Dec 13,11:00 AM ET 

BERLIN (Reuters) - An 81-year-old German dropped his trousers and lost his wallet when two young women asked him to join them in a nude photo shoot but fled with his belongings as he stripped, police say.

"After the pensioner had removed his trousers in eager anticipation, the women left in a hurry," taking the man's wallet with about 250 euros (173 pounds) in cash, police in the western city of Wiesbaden said in a statement on Monday.

Don't slide too fast, you'll die.