Subject: Daily Dose - 050126 Names, THIS is TRUE, Social Security, DDL, Rotten News

Names

A Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist pastor and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they're standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. "I can't let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."

Then came the Methodist."Sorry, can't let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy."

The Baptist turned to his wife and whispered nervously, "It doesn't look good, Fanny."

_________________________

THIS is TRUE....

IT'S THE WATER, AND A LOT MORE: "We couldn't ask for better sales," says a spokesman for Koyo USA in Kona, Hawaii. "At this point, we can't make enough." The company is "making" water by sucking it out of the sea, running it through a salt removal process, and selling it to eager customers in Japan for $4-6 per bottle. Koyo says it's shipping more than 200,000 bottles per day, and is eager to expand its distribution. "There's a lot of water out there," says Mark Anderson of Hawaii's Foreign-Trade Zone Division. "I don't think they're going to run out." (AP)
...Odds of the plant running out of sea water: low. Odds of its customers running out of money: significantly higher.

***

JUST CAN'T STOP: Medical researchers are excited about a drug that may help fight all addictions -- from food to cigarettes to alcohol to marijuana. Rimonabant, developed by France's Sanofi-Aventis, seems to work by normalizing the brain's reward center. "I think it's going to have a big impact on the treatment of addiction," says Dr. Charles O'Brien, a U.S. addiction expert. "I'll try to get my hands on it as quickly as possible" to begin studies, he says. (AP)
...Once that's done, then he can start the search for a drug to cure rimonabant addiction.

***

WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED? "Visitors Told to Stay Away as Chocolate Festival Proves Too Popular"
-- AFP headline

___________________________

Social Security

Nina and Liz are having a conversation during there lunch break.

Nina asks, "So, Liz, how's your sex life these days?"

Liz replies, "Oh, you know.  It's the usual, Social Security kind."

"Social Security?" Nina asked quizzically.

"Yeah, you get a little each month, but it's not enough to live on."

___________________________

DDL

A Southern Alberta Rotarian
Was possessed of a long and a hairy 'un.
It was always erect
And is why, we suspect,
He was known as "Bone-on the Calgarian"

___________________________

"When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to some place expensive. So I took her to the gas station."

***

"There's a new microwave waterbed just been developed, it's claimed to give you 8 hours sleep in 30 minutes."

***

Clean diapers cause poop

***

POEM OF UNITY:

The election is over - The results are now known.
The will of the people has clearly been shown.
We should show by our thoughts and our words and our deeds
That unity is just what our country now needs.
Let's all get together; let bitterness pass.
I'll hug your elephant, you kiss my ass.

___________________________

Rotten News....  (true)

Brazilian Seeks Ban on Human Pet Names

Thu Oct 28, 5:42 PM ET

BRASILIA, Brazil - A Brazilian legislator wants to make it illegal to give pets names that are common among people. Federal congressman Reinaldo Santos e Silva proposed the law after psychologists suggested that some children may get depressed when they learn they share their first name with someone's pet, said Damarias Alves, a spokeswoman for Silva.

"Names have importance," said Alves. The congressman "wants to challenge people's assumptions that it's acceptable to give animals human names," she said.

If the law is passed, pet stores and veterinary clinics would be required to display a sign noting the prohibition of human first names for pets.

Brazilians who break the law would be subject to fines or community service.

Alves admitted the law's chances of passage were slim but said Silva hoped the bill would call attention to his other efforts to protect animals.

"He's proposed many laws to protect wildlife in Brazil, but this is the only one that has ever gotten any attention," Alves said.

*********

Canadian suicide bomber fails to kill anyone

CAS rocked by man on suicide mission

Kelly Patrick and Craig Pearson

Windsor Star

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

A suicidal ex-Children's Aid Society worker who slammed his fiery pickup truck into the agency's headquarters Tuesday wanted to hurt the agency for "dicking around" with money and staff levels at the group residence he used to run, says a teen at the home.

"The story isn't what he did, it's what CAS does every day," said the 14-year-old male, who can't be named because he's a CAS ward. "They dick everyone, every way they can, to save money. Well, they wound up losing $1.5 million -- not to mention me almost losing a friend."

The teen and other sources said the truck's driver was 49-year-old Jim Malone, an ex-contract employee who in September left his job running a CAS group home at 1641 Lincoln Rd.

Around 7:30 a.m. Tuesday, Malone lit a pair of 20-pound propane tanks inside the cab of his blue Ford pickup and sped toward the north facade of the sparkling Riverside Drive East building, said police.

Malone also filled the truck's bed with aerosol spray cans and two five-gallon gas cans. The ensuing blaze caused more than $1.5 million damage.

Nobody was hurt other than Malone, who suffered second-degree burns to 20 per cent of his body and is listed in stable condition at Hotel-Dieu Grace Hospital. Malone also stabbed himself at some point during the ordeal, police said. "He's got what appears to be a self-inflicted stab wound to the side," said Staff Sgt. Stefan Kowal, the head of the Windsor police arson unit.

********

Rolling Out a Cell Phone Ringtone Chart

Wed Oct 27,11:19 AM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Those synthesized tunes that send people grabbing for their cell phones and annoy patrons in restaurants and theaters have been recognized as part of the music industry by Billboard Magazine.

The weekly entertainment industry publication, which tracks top record and CD sales, said it was launching a new chart that will track the popularity of cell phone ringtones, as they are called.

The new chart, known as the Billboard Hot Ringtones Chart, will reflect the "Top 20" polyphonic ringtone sales for each week, including song title, artist, previous week's position and number of weeks on the chart.

Polyphonic tones are the dominant force in the ringtone market and are created using electronic synthesizers.

The ringtone market has exploded in recent years, with global revenues estimated to have topped $3.5 billion in 2003, according to industry estimates.

The ringtones, literally thousands of them, can be downloaded from the Internet. A recent Web browse showed synthesized versions of tunes from national anthems to classical music to golden oldies and rap, and everything in between, are available to be downloaded into cell phones.

The first ringtone  appeared in the Nov. 6 issue of Billboard, which was compiling the chart with Consect, a provider of U.S. mobile market analysis. The data for the chart will be aggregated from major ringtone distributors and wireless carriers.