Subject: Daily Dose - 050118 - elderly hooker, BIZARRE NEWS, blonde traveler, DDL, Rotten News

Tomorrow is Mount Arafat Day, followed by the Eid Al-Adha holidays. Back at you Monday.

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After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case, Judge Hanson called a brief recess and retired to his chambers. En route, he bumped into Judge Forbes.

"Say," said Hanson, "what would you give a sixty-three-year-old hooker?"

"Oh gosh," replied Forbes, "five or six bucks tops."

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BIZARRE NEWS...

Bizarre Product FACTS

In 4000 BC Egypt, men and women wore glitter eye shadow made from the crushed shells of beetles.

In M&M candies, the letters stand for Mars and Murrie, the developers of the candy in 1941.

In the 1700s, European women achieved a pale complexion by eating "Arsenic Complexion Wafers" actually made with the poison.

Kotex was first manufactured as bandages, during W.W.I.

Most American car horns honk in the key of F.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500's.

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Some Mistakes Cause Permanent Damage

FORT BRAGG, Calif. - Whenever pot is the main focus of a revenge plot, you know it's not going to turn out well.

Case in point - four men who suspected a 31-year-old man of stealing a pound of marijuana from them felt payback was in order. The alleged thief was lured to one of the men's homes and then held captive with duct tape. To make sure he never forgot what he did, the foursome tattooed the word "thief" on the man's forehead in 2-inch-high letters.

Soon after, police arrested the men and charged them with kidnapping, mayhem, conspiracy and false imprisonment. The victim, however, will have to live with the branding unless he can afford that laser procedure to have it removed.

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Breast Milk is Going to the Dogs

WELLINGTON - A New Zealand woman has decided the best way to ensure that her pet puppy will protect her baby daughter is to breastfeed it. I'm not sure I follow the logic, but Kura Tumanako says, "I wanted to raise it (the pup) with my baby. I wanted to bring it up with a baby. It will protect her as they grow up."

Since her baby stopped taking the milk, Tumanako has been breastfeeding the Staffordshire bull terrier pup because she "didn't want to waste it (the milk)." She has fed the dog twice a day for the past week but hopes to wean it off in about six weeks' time.

"He drinks more than the baby. It doesn't hurt, but it's a little bit ticklish."

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'I'll Confess Over My Dead Body!'

SOMERVILLE, Mass. - Here is one twisted story.

A woman named Geraldine DiMarzio Kelley, who had for years told her children that their father had been killed in a car accident, confessed on her deathbed that she actually killed her husband John Kelley and stored his remains in a freezer.

Kelley's daughter told police after hearing her mother's confession, sending them to the Planet Self Storage facility where they found the remains of the man's body inside an unplugged freezer that was locked and sealed with duct tape.

His murder may have taken place up to 14 YEARS ago, because that is when Kelley's children say their mom began telling them he had died in a car wreck.

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This Pig Isn't the 'Norm'

HUBBARDSVILLE, N.Y. - Bob Peterson's farm in central New York Madison County is the home to Norm, who may be the world's biggest pig.

Norm stands 4 ft. high and 7 ft. long and weighs approximately 1,600 pounds. Due to Norm's hefty size he has drawn several human visitors to see the unbelievable site.

A Cornell livestock specialist said that a normal 3-year-old pig tops out at 500 pounds. Norm, named after the "Cheers" character, will enjoy his celebrity status as the Peterson farm's mascot.

Peterson said that as long as there's a farm he's got a place to stay.

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Setting off the alarm while passing through a metal detector at McCarran Intl. Airport in Las Vegas, a blonde traveler was asked by a security agent if she had any change.

"Gee," the blonde says, turning towards her husband, I told you we should of gone to Florida instead.....everyone here expects to be tipped."

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DDL

A lady from Vanity Fair
Had a most astonishing pair;
One listing to port
Was the usual sort,
But the other, to starboard, was square.

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"You may have noticed I have a few flaws, too. People sometimes have to correct my English. I knew I had a problem when Arnold Schwarzenegger started doing it."
--George Bush during his Republican Convention speech

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"All over the country, there were long lines to vote, and I thought of this -- next time, instead of waiting, I'm gonna find a guy who's voting the opposite of me, and we'll just both go home. Even Steven. Just cancel each other out and head to lunch."
--Jimmy Kimmel

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"You have to feel bad for John Kerry because now he he'll have to go back to being a U.S. senator, windsurfing and being a billionaire."
--David Letterman

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The people who vote decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.
--Josef Stalin.  

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Rabble, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections...
--Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

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Rotten News....  (true)

British woman cashes in on longevity

Thu Nov 4, 2:58 PM ET 

LONDON (Reuters) - Showing that a little flutter can do you good, a British woman stands to collect a cheque for 12,650 pounds on Friday after betting she would live to 100.

Rosalind Strover from Sudbury in Suffolk plans to celebrate her centenary with her family at a nearby golf club.

As well as the traditional congratulatory telegram from the queen, she will also receive a cheque for her winnings from bookmaker William Hill.

Ten years ago, her daughter-in-law Jennifer wagered 100 pounds at 100-1 that she would reach her century, topping up the bet with a 50 pound stake a year later at 50-1.

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Moroccans Spend More on Food in Month of Fasting

Wed Nov 3, 8:39 AM ET

RABAT (Reuters) - Moroccans spend 28 percent more on food during Ramadan, the Muslim month of fasting, a government study showed Tuesday.

Ramadan is the holiest month of the Islamic calendar when practicing Muslims must abstain from food, drink and sex from dawn to dusk -- a discipline intended to better their souls and bring them closer to God.

In Morocco, where Ramadan began on Oct. 15, an average family spends 28 percent more on food products than during the other months of the year, the High Planning Commission said.

The state body did not explain the reasons behind the rise but listed products whose consumption increase significantly during Ramadan, including milk and dairy products and eggs.

The Iftar meal which breaks the fast after sunset has become increasingly lavish and heavy in recent years across the Arab world. Studies by health experts and dieticians have shown that many Muslims actually gain weight during the month of fasting.

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Wed, Nov 03, 2004

Teen's KKK Costume Wins Prize, Suspension

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A high school student's costume garnered a top prize — and a five-day suspension — at the school's Halloween masquerade party.

The Ku Klux Klansman getup took the prize for the scariest costume at the City High School dance attended by the principal, assistant principal and other staff members.

Superintendent Bert Bleke said he agreed with the school's decision to suspend the student but wanted to know why adults at the party failed to stop the senior, who was wearing a white-hooded outfit, from entering, much less winning a prize.

"There are a number of questions I have and don't yet have answers to," Bleke said.

Contacted by the newspaper, the student declined to discuss his Halloween outfit. He said school leaders advised him to keep mum, and that he didn't want to cause any more trouble for himself.

THE PHAROHS HAD COMPUTERS BACK THEN TOO