Subject:
Daily Dose - 050108 - barrel of Guinness, BIZARRE
NEWS, Sunday newspaper, DDL, Rotten News
Sean got home in the early hours of
the morning after a night at the local pub. He made such a racket hitting into
the furniture as he weaved his way through the house, that he woke up the
missus.
"What on earth are you doing
down there?" she yelled down from the bedroom. "Get yourself up here
to bed and don't wake up the neighbors!"
"I'm trying to get a barrel of
Guinness up the stairs," he shouted.
"Leave it 'till the
morning," she shouted down.
"I can't," he said,
"I've drank it."
_____________________________
BIZARRE NEWS....
Bizarre Facts About America
Need something new to bet on? Head out to Deming, New Mexico for its annual
duck races.
Okmulgee, Oklahoma still holds the
world record for the biggest ice cream and cookie party.
Here's a stretch for tourism in
Berkley Springs, West Virginia: "George Washington bathed here."
If you like Idaho potatoes, think
about visiting Shelley, Idaho, home of the "Idaho Annual Spud Day."
Chittenago, New York, is home to the
annual "Munchkin's parade."
Arizona's official state neckwear is
the Bola tie.
Maine produces 90 percent of the
country's toothpick supply.
Every year on September 10, the
people in Fruita, Colorado celebrate "Mike the Headless Chicken Day"
in honor of a chicken that lived four years after it was beheaded.
In Wyoming, you need a license to
take a picture of a rabbit during January, February, March, or April.
Texas has an official state shell.
It's the Lightning Whelk.
The International Checkers Hall of
Fame is in Petal, Mississippi.
***
Voting Not Too Much Labor For One
Woman
HARRISBURG, Pa. - Voting for a new
president is a serious matter, and some people are so determined to vote that
nothing will stand in their way.
Dr. Andrea Shaer wanted to cast her
vote during Tuesday's election so badly even though she went into labor with
her third child. Upon arriving at her polling station, she saw more than 100
voters were lined up at Penn State Milton S. Hershey Medical Center. So,
she left, gave birth and returned 30 minutes prior to the poll's closing.
"Knowing how close the race is
in Pennsylvania and being a mom, with all the issues there, I just had to
try" to vote, Shaer said.
She even voted while hooked up to an
intravenous drip. Now that's determination.
***
These Monkeys Mean Business
GAUHATI, India - Up to 300 children
have been attacked by monkeys lurking at an ancient Hindu temple over the past
three weeks.
"They hide in trees and swoop
on unsuspecting children loitering about in the temple premises or walking by,
clawing them and even sucking a bit of blood," Bani Kumar Sharma, a priest
at the Kamakhya temple in Assam state, told The Associated Press.
Jolly Sharma, a 6-year-old girl,
said she was coming home from school when a monkey jumped on her, scratching
her head and pushing her to the ground.
At least 2000 rhesus monkeys wander
in and around the temple, but the priest said they had never shown aggressive
behavior in the past.
***
Making the Breast, Er, BEST of the
Situation
NEW YORK - It seems publicists will
do anything a celebrity wants them to, even if it means breast-feeding a
possum.
Vanity Fair says that Kirstie Alley
once brought her pet possum to an event and expected it to be fed once it got
hungry. Apparently, it began squeaking for food, prompting Alley to ask her
publicist, "Say, aren't you nursing a baby right now?"
The publicist must have said yes,
but seeing the possum's teeth, she refused to breast feed it. However, she did
transfer her breast milk into a bottle, which Alley then fed to her pet.
_________________________
A very drunk gent checked into a
hotel late one Saturday night. He awoke very ill, and summoned a bellboy to
fetch him a bottle of whiskey and a Sunday newspaper. The bellhop was gone a
long time.
When he returned, the lush remarked,
"It must be hard to buy a bottle in this town on Sunday."
"There was no trouble with the
liquor," replied the bellboy, "but it's tough finding a Sunday paper
on Tuesday."
______________________________
DDL
There once was a girl from Old Witz,
Who had the most marvelous tits.
She need a bra,
Or else they'd see-saw,
So this young girl used two baseball mitts.
______________________________
"Sometimes I feel discriminated
against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any
deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It's beyond me."
--Zora Neale Hurston, U.S. novelist
***
"There are three things I never
want to hear again on a first date, 'So...how much cash do you have on you?'
'Wow! You're a big girl!' and 'Wanna hold my gun? It's loaded.'"
-Jennifer Fairbanks
***
"I saw this water-safety manual
that actually says if a shark attacks, you should poke it in the eyes! Who
wrote that, the Three Stooges?"
--Larry Reeb
_______________________________
Rotten News... (true)
2004 Tuesday 16 November
A 14 year old boy is sentenced to 85
lashes for breaking his Ramadan fast !
A 14 year old boy died on Thursday,
November 11th, after having received 85 lashes; according to the ruling of the
Mullah judge of the public circuit court in the town of Sanandadj he was guilty
of breaking his fast during the month of Ramadan.
The Kurdish site Rojeh“heh Lāt
reports that the young man“s identity has not been disclosed. He was scheduled
for burial on Saturday, November 13th (after 3 days at the local morgue), in
the cemetery of Beheshteh Mohammadi in Sanandadj. However due to the public“s realization
of the events surrounding the boy“s circumstances the cemetery was stormed [in
protest] and his burial did not take place.
According to informed sources,
supervisors have instructed that the burial take place in the presence of his
closest relatives, surveyed by security forces.
*******
Bearded lady in fake sheikh bid
Thu Nov 18, 8:45 AM ET
MANAMA (Reuters) - Defying Islamic
traditions, a Bahraini woman disguised herself as a bearded Muslim sheikh to
lead Friday prayers but was stopped before she reached the pulpit, says a
cleric.
Sheikh Adnan al-Qattan of al-Fateh
Grand Mosque said the 40-year-old woman identified as Fatima donned a fake
beard and robe and entered his mosque last Friday to deliver a sermon.
"She was racing to get to the
stand before me ... and I got suspicious and asked the guards to stop her and
call the police," he told Reuters.
"At first I didn't think it was
a woman. I thought it was just a cleric I didn't know. Then when her beard
began to slide off and her voice grew soft during a scuffle we found out she
was a woman," the sheikh said.
The woman was detained by police and
then released without charge.
Under Islam, women are not permitted
to lead prayers.
*******
November 12, 2004
Chinese officials crack down on
ancient bloodsport of cricket fighting
SHANGHAI, China (AP) - Shanghai is
cracking down on gamblers drawn to an ancient bloodsport forcing opponents into
a gruesome battle to the death: cricket fighting.
Police detained 46 people and
confiscated 39 pots containing the insect pugilists, together with the
equivalent of about $8,300 Cdn in wagers during a raid on a gambling den in the
city's Pudong district, the Shanghai Daily newspaper reported Friday. Two men,
Ding Liangkai and 70-year-old Ren Xiaohai were charged with organizing the
fights, punishable by up to three years in prison.
Cricket fighting was a passion of
the ancient Chinese, who housed their favourites in elaborate wood or bronze
cages and fed them special diets of seeds and small insects. The crickets are
starved before matches to make them ornery, then released into a tiny ring
where they kick and bite each other to death.
Suppressed after the 1949 Communist
Revolution, the pastime has revived in recent years but remains closely
associated with gambling, which is strictly forbidden in China.
Shanghai Daily quoted Ren, a 50-year
veteran of the sport, as saying he organized the fights because he was unable
to find crickets in the wild and couldn't afford to buy top fighters, which can
cost up to $150.
"In this way, we could not only
enjoy cricket fighting free of charge but also earn money by collecting a
five-per-cent bonus from the gamblers," Ren was quoted saying.
There was no word on the fate of the
crickets.
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