Subject: Daily Dose - 040419 - blond cowboy, Hey Martha, waiting taxi, DDL, Rotten News

The sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots. So the sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he was locking him up he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

The cowboy said, "Well it's like this sheriff. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little brunette asks me to go out to her motor home with her, and I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt, so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants, so I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to
pull off my shorts, so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says,

"Now go to town, cowboy...." So here I am.""

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Hey Martha...  (Weird News)

March 22, 2004 

Thai who held a world record for tolerating snakes dies of snake bite

BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) - A man who was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for spending the longest time with snakes has died after being bitten by one of his 30 pet snakes, doctors said Monday.

Boonreung Bauchan, known as the Snake Man, died on Friday, a day after suffering a venomous bite by a mamba, said Dr. Wipha Praituen of Praibung hospital in the northeastern province of Si Sa Ket. She told The Associated Press that Boonreung was bitten on the right elbow, and "the poison had spread throughout his body when he arrived at the hospital."

Boonreung, 34, won a mention in the Guinness book after spending seven days in an enclosure with snakes in 1998 to set a world record.

Wipha said Boonreung's relatives told her that Boonreung was showing a new cobra he got from the jungle to villagers when he was bitten. However, Boonreung took an herbal medicine and a shot of whisky and continued with the show until he collapsed.

Boonreung's family said he was the sole breadwinner, supporting them with snake shows, according to the Nation newspaper. It quoted his father, Pon, as saying that boxes of Boonreung's pet snakes were still at the house.

"They look fiercer now. So no one dares get closer to the boxes," he was quoted as saying. Pon said he would give the snakes to a zoo after his son's cremation on Wednesday.

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March 18, 2004
Bomb prop in New Zealand causes scare during Prince Edward's visit

WELLINGTON, New Zealand (AP) - An imitation bomb used as a television prop caused a scare Thursday after New Zealand police discovered it during a visit by Prince Edward to a TV production studio.

A fake timer and the phoney bomb - mimicking an explosive known as gelatin dynamite - were found in a box under the stairs at Taylormade Media LTD, a production company in the southern city of Dunedin.

The bomb prop was made for a documentary film and was packed away for more than a decade under the studio's stairs, New Zealand's One News reported.

"It caused a bit of a fuss when they found it, but they quickly realized it wasn't real," Taylormade's managing director Ian Taylor said.

Prince Edward - youngest son of the Queen and a theatrical producer - appeared to be amused by the incident during his visit to the studio.

"It's usually people's lunches that the sniffer dogs find," he joked.

The prince is on a brief visit to New Zealand coinciding with the 150th anniversary of Wanganui Collegiate school, where he worked as a housemaster for a year.

Earlier, a package containing a ticking clock led to the evacuation of New Zealand's central bank building, opposite the country's parliament, and the closure of the surrounding commercial district in the capital Wellington.

Army bomb specialists confirmed the package contained a harmless clock, a gift to a New Zealand cabinet minister sent to the central bank offices by an Asian counterpart.

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March 10, 2004 

Aussie publican bars regulars he said were casting spells in hotel

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - A Sydney bar owner has expelled a group of drinkers after accusing them of casting spells in his pub.

"People found their behaviour strange and threatening...casting spells on bars in the hotel or clearing bars with certain spells," Tony Green, owner of the Greenwood Hotel, told the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper. "They talk about casting spells and they brought with them, I believe, a small cauldron. I think they behaved as though they are witches," Green added.

Green was referring to PaganPages, a group that met at his pub each month to discuss rituals, mythology and other pagan-related topics until he asked them to leave in January.

Suzanne Maxim, PaganPages co-ordinator, denies the group was using magic at the bar.

"As far as I know, people don't cast spells but I can't vouch for everyone," she told the Herald. "It's not a very sacred space."

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A visitor to New York rushed from the airport into a waiting taxi, trying to keep dry in the heavy downpour.  

"Can you think of anything worse," grumbled the visitor, "than raining cats and dogs in New York?"  

"Sure," said the cab driver. "Hailing taxis!"

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DDL

A penguin had been at the wheel
Lost oil from his automobile
Left his car at the place
Got ice cream on his face
And it looked like he'd just blown a seal.

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Thought of the Day

Never hold your farts in.
They travel up your spine, into your brain,
and that's where you get shitty ideas from.

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Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, two, one, two, three, four!"

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"'Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.'
--Roseanne"

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Rotten News...  (true)

Brownie leader: "Breasts are not criminal"  
Sun Mar 7, 3:34 PM ET 

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida (Reuters) - A demonstration billed as a topless march to protest anti-nudity laws has drawn in thousands of curious spectators but only a handful of marchers.

Organisers had expected 1,000 topless women to march down Main Street in Daytona Beach and voice their outrage over the arrest of women who bare their breasts during spring break events. Local officials say hundreds of women are carted off to jail each year for exposing their breasts on the beach, in bars and on the streets.

But after a federal judge refused to stop police from arresting female protesters who doffed their tops, only about 50 women made the march.

And only one, organiser Liz Book, took off her shirt. Book was immediately arrested and taken to jail, though a bare-chested man who marched was unmolested.

"I don't ever want to see another woman arrested because someone showed her breasts," said Book, a 42-year-old Brownie troop leader. "Our breasts are not criminal."

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Mon, Mar 08, 2004
Florida Firehouse Catches on Fire   

MELBOURNE, Fla. - Firefighters responding to emergencies here were in such a rush that they forgot to turn off a fryer in their kitchen. So the next emergency call involved a fire that started at their own station.

No one was injured in the blaze Thursday, because all four firefighters working at the time were out responding to several calls.

A Cocoa Beach firefighter was driving past and saw smoke escaping from the firehouse and called 911.

The firefighters from Station 72 then returned to fight the fire at their own station.

The building suffered a combination of smoke and fire damage, and the battalion chief has asked the city for a live-in trailer for the firefighters. He said the fire was accidental and no one would be reprimanded.

"We're human and this kind of relays that to the public, that we're just as human as them and we make our own mistakes," said Battalion Chief Robert Apel.

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Fri, Mar 05, 2004
Vibrator prompts bomb squad alert  

VIENNA (Reuters) - Austrian police called in a bomb squad when a pedestrian reported a buzzing package in a garbage can, but the object turned out to be a vibrator wrapped up with dirty movies and magazines, police say.

"The package was a green plastic bag wrapped in brown postal tape. Upon being touched, it turned out to be vibrating," police in the western Austrian town of Rankweil said in a statement about the Thursday incident.

The police patrol at the scene called in a bomb squad, which opened the package.

"The uncertain situation became less tense when it turned out the package contained a vibrator that was on as well as four pornographic video tapes and several magazines," the statement said.