Subject: Daily Dose - 040411 - MAD COW DISEASE, BIZARRE NEWS, pair of spurs, DDL, Rotten News

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS ABOUT MAD COW DISEASE

Q. If I drink milk from an infected cow, will it harm me?
A. Of course not. I drink 5 glasses of milk a day and it doesnt bither me a bot. I am the same today as I was tomorrow.

Q. So how can I tell if I am infected from this meat?
A. They say memory is affected. What was your question?

Q. What can you do with infected cattle? Killing them seems so inhumane.
A. Well I have 6 in my backyard and they think they are a herd of geese.

Q. Is it true the infected cows come from Canada?
A. Let's listen to the cows and see..... Eh Mooo eh moo, eh meow

Q. Are there any infected cows in Quebec?
A. Again let's listen.... Le Moo, Le Moo, Le meow

Q. Can this disease be sexually transmitted?
A. Buddy if you ask this question, switch to sheep.

Q. How can you detect Mad cow disease in a bull?
A. He would be the one wearing high heels.

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BIZARRE NEWS....

Bizarre Mating Regulations

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but Is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.  

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.  

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

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Paging Doctor Beeper

I've heard of doctors leaving instruments inside of patients after a surgery, but how about a martini olive?

Okay, that didn't actually happen, but it might have if administrators at St. Elizabeth's Medical Center in Boston hadn't stopped an intoxicated doctor before he went into surgery.

The doctor in question has a history of drinking and driving, and while the hospital refused to give any details over the incident, they did say that the doctor "does not have medical staff privileges at this time."

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Family Ties

Didn't this happen in the movie CASINO?

25-year-old Florida resident Carolina Pineda felt the need to get her groove on at the local dance club with boyfriend Oscar Sanchez-Lucas. Unfortunately, she didn't have anyone to watch her 1-year-old daughter Hayli Nicole.

No problem for an innovative, urban, single mother. A bedsheet and a little ingenuity later and Carolina was out the door with little Hayli Nicole securly tied to her bed.

The little girl was found later that evening by her grandmother, crying hysterically. Grandma broke down and called the police.

Carolina was charged with aggravated child abuse.

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You Got a License for That Razor?

LEXINGTON, Neb. - The women residing in the Midwestern town of Lexington, Nebraska better get used to bristly kisses from their male counterparts until mid-summer.

The town's mayor, John Fagot, has implemented a "ban" on shaving for every man in town over the age of 21.

Unless in possession of a shaving permit, beardless males could face being dunked in a horse tank or other absurd punishment.

The playful law was put into place to get the town in the spirit of this summer's Plum Creek Days. A tradition since 1939, those found clean-shaven will be arrested and taken to Kangaroo Court, which is to be held every Friday starting June 4 and will include "trumped-up charges and fun sentencing," according to Fagot.

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The Taiwan Pigeon Tragedy

TAIPEI - Though not much sympathy or concern is given to the countless amount of pigeons that inhabit our country's metropolitan areas, citizens of Taipei, Taiwan can make quite a bit of money off of them.

While gambling, other than the state-run lottery, is illegal in Taiwan, authorities often turn a blind eye to the millions of dollars waged on pigeon racing. Unfortunately, tragedy struck before the start of the third of a seven-leg race when at least 5,000 birds were killed when their cages fell off a cargo boat and into the Bashi Channel.

It is believed that close to 100 million Taiwan dollars (three million US) were waged on the event.

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The cowboy walked into the tack shop. "How much for a pair of spurs?" he asked the sales clerk.  

"Forty dollars."  

The cowboy looked in his wallet, thought for a moment, then pulled out a twenty. "I'll take one spur."  

"What'll you do with just one?" the clerk asked.  

The cowboy replied, "I figger if I can get one side of the horse movin', the other side'll go too."

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DDL

A homely old woman named Jane
Was hired by a farmer in Spain
To stand in his field
After research revealed
That rain mainly falls on the plain.

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"It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can  keep the earth after they inherit it."
--Kin Hubbard

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"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
--Thomas Edison

***  

"Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a difference between having an open mind and having holes in one's head?"
--Richard Schultz

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Indian man marries his grandmother  
Fri Mar 19, 4:12 AM ET 

By Kamil Zaheer

PANCHPARA, India (Reuters) - A 25-year-old Indian man has married his 80-year-old grandmother because he wants to take care of her.

"I felt she needed extra care as she is old. I can look after her better as a husband than as a grandson," Narayan Biswas told Reuters on Friday. As a husband, I am with her all the time, to care for her," said the high school graduate, who farms rice fields and also works as a tutor.

The grandmother, her back bent with age, says she is "happy" with her young husband whom she married in a traditional Hindu ceremony near Panchpara, a village 150 km (100 miles) west of Calcutta. Her first husband died more than 30 years ago.

"I helped bring him up with my own hands and now he looks after me. He is a good husband and ensures I get my meals on time," said Premodas Biswas, a red vermilion streak on her forehead, the mark of a married Hindu woman.

Local officials say marrying a blood relation is illegal under the Hindu Marriage Act, but they have no plans to take action against the couple.

"There has been no complaint against them and they are living as husband and wife after a temple ceremony. Their own family has accepted them so we have no plans to act as of now," Dilip Das, a local government official, told Reuters.

Last June, a nine-year-old Indian girl was married to a dog near Calcutta after a priest told her parents the wedding would ward off evil.

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March 18, 2004

Leaving Durango: Visiting Oscar-winner delayed

By Patricia Miller
Herald Staff Writer

Maryann DeLeo holds the Oscar she won for best documentary short subject for "Chernobyl Heart" during the 76th annual Academy Awards on Feb. 29 in Los Angeles. 

Oscar-winning director and producer Maryann DeLeo missed her flight out of Durango on Monday because she wanted to carry the Oscar she had won only two weeks earlier onto the plane.

"There was a fiasco at the airport," said Calvin Cook, who is married to Durango Film Festival Executive Director Sofia van Surksum. "They wouldn't allow her to carry it through security."

Mike Fierberg, a spokesman for the Transportation Security Administration in Denver, was sure the screeners at the Durango-La Plata County Airport did the right thing.

"I've never held an Oscar, but I'm told it has a heavy base," he said. "If you held it upside down, you could inflict substantial damage with it. … "I admit it would not be a terribly logical thing for an Oscar winner to do," he added.

DeLeo won her Oscar on Feb. 29 for the documentary "Chernobyl Heart," a film about children born after the 1986 nuclear plant disaster. She came to Durango for the film festival.

Fierberg was sympathetic to the beleaguered filmmaker.

"God bless her," he said. "I understand that it's probably the first time she's traveled with it," he said. "I apologize if we caused any inconvenience, but please understand we have to put security first."

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Wednesday, 17 March, 2004, 15:17 GMT 

Saudi sets sights on 60th bride

Multiple wives are common among Saudis and other Gulf Arabs

A Saudi businessman aged 64 has just made a young girl his 58th bride and says he intends to have two more weddings to bring his total to 60.

Saleh al-Saiari, who has fathered 36 children, took a 13-year-old to be his latest bride a month ago and told a newspaper he was in "very good health".

He said he would draw lots to decide which of his current wives he would divorce to make room for two more.

Under Saudi law, Muslim men may have four wives at any one time.

Mr Saiari told Asharq Al-Awsat that he had first married at the age of 14 and planned to "round off [his married life] with a 60th wedding".

He said his spouses included both "university graduates and illiterate women" but he preferred educated wives.

The businessman, who was once a shepherd, said he would "resort to the usual draw" to choose which of his current four wives to drop.

It was not immediately clear what happened to those of Mr Saiari's wives he divorced.

Happy Easter !