Subject: Daily Dose - 040407 - INTERVIEW TEST, THIS is TRUE, raced toward the hospital, DDL, Rotten News

INTERVIEW TEST

A company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people.

In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours and the one with the best answer would get the job.

The question was: A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman's back. What is the man's name?

After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers.

The first one says "My answer is, there IS no answer."

The second one says "My answer is, that there is no way to determine the answer with the information we were given."

The THIRD one says "I'm not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to two names, it's either...

"Willie Turner or Willie Nailer."

HE GOT THE JOB

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THIS is TRUE....

EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY: After an accident, Sharon Anderson, 28, of Dale, S.C., told sheriff's deputies that she hit a large animal, theorizing it must have been a rhinoceros. Clearly not -- the rhino isn't exactly indigenous to South Carolina. A deputy found the 400-500 pound animal dead from its injuries: a hippopotamus, which had wandered away from a private preserve. But even with the police report to back her up, people don't believe she hit a hippo, Anderson says. "They say stop lying, there's no hippos around here." (Bluffton Carolina Morning News)
...Well, not anymore.

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WOLF IN THE FLOCK: "You must give God what He asks," counseled William Thomas Warren, 52. "Pay God, and do it before you pay your monthly bills," advised the self-proclaimed "financial pastor" in Troutville, Va. "If you are willing to do this, the usual result is: your income will gradually increase. Your expenses will miraculously decline." Pretty much the opposite, say prosecutors. Warren is under federal indictment for allegedly operating a classic "Ponzi" fraud scheme which allegedly bilked the faithful out of around $3 million. When officers went to Warren's home to arrest him, they found him hiding in a crawl space. They also found a pad of paper outlining what Warren thought he should do next: "Move Right Now" because of "Indictment papers plus arrest avoid." (Roanoke Times)
..."Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow." --Proverbs 13:11

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LEADING BY EXAMPLE: After a briefing on the coup in Haiti, U.S. Representative Corrine Brown (Democrat from Florida) said President Bush's policy for the country was "racist" and engineered by "a bunch of white men." That didn't sit well with the president's man she was berating, Assistant Secretary of State Roger Noriega. "As a Mexican-American, I deeply resent being called a racist and branded a white man," he told her, but promised that he would "relay that to [Secretary of State] Colin Powell and [national security adviser] Condoleezza Rice the next time I run into them." Brown, who is black, said she was "absolutely not" apologetic for calling Noriega white, telling him "you all look alike to me." (Jacksonville, Fla., Times-Union)
...Racism: an appalling slur on humanity, unless committed by a black Democratic politician.

********

HEY, WHAT THE HELL? German farmers need to get rid of an estimated 150 million cubic meters of liquid manure per year, mostly generated by pigs. To help, Thomas Griese, deputy minister of the environment in North Rhine-Westphalia, has created a government-sponsored market to sell it for 4-5 euros (US$5-6) per cubic meter. "As far I know, this is the first manure market of its kind," Griese says. "We are now waiting for our first customers." (Reuters)
...And waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting....

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GEE, YA THINK? "City Workers Rarely Fired for Doing a Bad Job"
-- Houston Chronicle headline

_____________________________

Dad's pager went off, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist.  As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him--lights flashing.

Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call.  Within seconds, came the police officer's hand in response, dangling a pair of handcuffs out the window.

_____________________________

DDL

A charmer from old Amarillo,
Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow,
Decided one day
That to keep men away
She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.

_____________________________

The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

The third marriage is the triumph of stupidity.

*******

Seen in a John Deere Farm impliment sales office: The only machine we don't stand behind is our manure spreader.

*******

"Do you like news from outer space? The Mars Rover has found evidence of water and salt. You know what this means? At one point mars supported margaritas."
--David Letterman

______________________________

Rotten News....

Virgin Atlantic cans lip-shaped urinals in U.S.  
Fri Mar 19, 4:00 PM ET 

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Virgin Atlantic Airways has scrapped plans to install bright-red urinals shaped like women's open lips at New York's John F Kennedy International Airport, saying it had received complaints they were offensive.

"Virgin Atlantic was very sorry to hear of people's concerns about the design of the 'Kisses' urinals to be fitted into our clubhouse at JFK Airport. We can assure everyone who complained to us that no offence was ever intended," Virgin spokesman John Riordan said in a statement on Friday.

Riordan said the company received several dozen complaints from people and groups including the National Organisation for Women after its plans for the urinals had been made public.

NOW had posted a message on its Web site urging members to complain to Virgin chief Richard Branson.

"I don't know many men who think it's cool to pee in a woman's mouth, even a porcelain one," said NOW President Kim Gandy on the group's Web site.

The urinal, designed by a Dutch company, was the idea of a female designer. Riordan said Virgin was surprised by the negative reaction to the plan, part of designs for the lounge, built to pamper first-class customers.

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Texas Man Twice Escapes Serious Injury   
Fri Mar 19,11:02 AM ET

HOUSTON - A 60-year-old man was struck by a slow-moving train as he walked home from work, and then a car slammed into the ambulance that was to take him to the hospital. The man escaped both accidents with minor injuries.

Donnie Mack Hall was treated at a hospital for cuts, bruises and a broken finger and released.

Officials said Hall, part of a work crew at Reliant Stadium, was heading home Wednesday when he walked into the path of a light rail train traveling about 20 mph. Metrorail officials said the train knocked him about 10 feet.

Metrorail spokesman Ken Connaughton said Hall was supposed to be wearing two hearing aids, but had only one.

"He heard the train trying to warn him. .. He was disoriented and thought the train was coming from the other direction," Connaughton said.

As Hall was being loaded into an ambulance, a car slammed in the vehicle. Another ambulance later took Hall to the hospital where he was treated.

There were no reports of serious injury to the paramedics or the four passengers in the car, officials said.

**********

Fri, Mar 19, 2004
Crowd Storms Restaurant Over Alcohol  

MANAMA (Reuters) - Some 100 Bahraini Islamists shouting "God is Greatest" stormed a French restaurant serving alcohol in the pro-Western Gulf Arab state and threatened diners with knives, witnesses said on Thursday.

One diner managed to wrest a knife away from the Islamists and stabbed one with it, causing him severe injuries, a witness said.

They said the assailants, opposed to the consumption of alcohol banned by Islam, also threw gasoline bombs at customers' cars parked outside the restaurant near the capital Manama late on Wednesday, damaging nine vehicles.

"Abound 100 young men, shouting Allahu Akbar (God is greatest), came to the restaurant carrying knives and shouted at the customers: Why do you drink?," Jahanshah Bakhtiar, owner of La Terrasse Restaurant, told Reuters.

"They were acting as if they had the right ideas and people should obey them," he said, adding that there were about 40 customers in the restaurant.

Security police investigating the incident declined to comment.

Bahrain, headquarters of the U.S. Fifth Fleet and the Gulf's banking hub, has traditionally enjoyed a more liberal atmosphere than some of its more conservative neighbors.

It allows restaurants, bars and night clubs to serve alcohol but has recently witnessed a rise in protests against Western-style events deemed immoral by Islamists.

Bahraini newspapers reported on Thursday that young men had attacked a house in a village where they suspected foreign workers were producing alcohol.