Subject: Daily Dose - 040310 - HELPING A CHILD, THIS is TRUE, punished in
the stocks, daddy's seat, DDL, Rotten News
HELPING A CHILD
Did you hear about the Texas teacher
who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?
He asked for help and she could see
why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want
to go on.
Finally, when the second boot was
on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said,
"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."
She looked and sure enough, they
were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them
on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots
back on - this time on the right feet.
He then announced, "These
aren't my boots."
She bit her tongue rather than get
right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she
wanted to.
And, once again she struggled to
help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.No sooner they got the
boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me
wear 'em."
Now she didn't know if she should
laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had
left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she
asked, "Now, where are your mittens?"
He said, " I stuffed 'em in the
toes of my boots."
Her trial starts next month.
________________________
THIS is TRUE....
DUMBER EVEN STILL: Several days
after getting out of jail, where he had served time for drunk driving and other
charges, Ronald A. Mahner stopped at the Seminole County (Fla.) Sheriff's
Office to pick up his personal belongings. He provided his driver's license as
identification. A clerk checked him in the computer and found the license had
been revoked for life. She sent a co-worker to get the license number on the
car he was driving. The car, which Mahner had parked in a fire lane, was
reported stolen the day Mahner got out of jail. He was arrested as he tried to
get back in the car. (Orlando Sentinel)
...Now, what's this about jail time being about "rehabilitation"?
********
DUMBEST OF THE WEEK: Knox County,
Ky., deputy jailer Clarence Wilson, 37, was given the task of transporting an
inmate, Shawn Phillip Reynolds, 23, to a different jail, in Lewis County, in a
marked vehicle equipped with lights and a siren. But halfway between, state
troopers started getting calls from motorists who said a police vehicle was
pulling over motorists, and the occupants were drunk. After stopping motorists,
"they would get them in the back of the cruiser, cut a deal for cash and
let them go," said Knox County Judge-Executive Raymond Smith.
Investigators say Wilson let Reynolds out of his handcuffs, and the two were in
the front seat drinking while they went down the road. Wilson has been charged
with drunk driving, impersonating a police officer, unlawful imprisonment and
official misconduct. Reynolds was charged with alcohol intoxication. (AP)
...Your task: determine which one is the alcoholic.
********
STAY BETWEEN THE LINES: A Good
Samaritan in Regina, Sask., Canada, stopped to help a man who had slid his car
off the road into a ditch. The driver asked to be pulled out, so the Samaritan
said he'd return with a rope. When he got back minutes later, the car was gone
-- but he found the driver sitting in a pickup truck on the other side of the
road, where he had again slid into the ditch. Suspicious, the unnamed Samaritan
called the police, who determined that both vehicles had been stolen. Keri
Diamonde Poorman was sentenced to four months in jail for vehicle theft and
driving under the influence. (Regina Leader-Post)
...In the old days, that rope would still have been of use.
********
SOCIETY SHOULDERS THE BURDEN: Dr.
George Chryssides, a lecturer at England's Wolverhampton University, dropped
270 magazines for members of British Society for the Study of Religions into a
campus mailbox. Postman Alan Pugh, who later emptied the box, says the weight
of all that mail caused him to pull a muscle in his shoulder. He is therefore
suing Chryssides, claiming the postal patron was "negligent in failing to
appreciate the risk" to him by posting 50 lbs of mail in one box.
Chryssides says he will fight the suit. (London Telegraph)
...Hundreds of thousands of Brits back Chryssides, but they're afraid to send
letters of support for fear of being added to the list of defendants.
********
UNDER STRICT LABORATORY CONDITIONS:
"Researcher Links Obesity, Food Portions"
-- AP headline
_______________________
An American history teacher,
lecturing the class on the Puritans, asked: "What sort of people were
punished in the stocks?"
To which a small voice from the back
of the room responded: "The small investor."
_______________________
Kyle and Justin were sitting down to
eat their supper with the baby sitter when 6 year old Kyle saw the baby sitter
sit down in his daddy's seat.
"You can't sit in Daddy's
seat!" Kyle exclaimed.
"Daddy's not home," the
baby sitter replied, matter-of-factly. "Since I'm responsible for you
while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss."
Justin, the 4 year old, quickly
piped up, "If you're the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy's
chair!"
_______________________
DDL
There once was a boy named Matt
Who dated a gal named Pat.
But under the covers
He saw that his lover
Should be called Steve, and not Pat
_________________________
Why in America do we have a general
in charge of the post office, and a secretary in charge of defense?
***
They say that love makes the world
go around, but then so does a good swallow of tobacco juice.
***
Sign seen on a plastic surgeon's
window: "Come in and pick your nose!"
***
You know you are a college student
when you collect Taco Bell sauce to use as "salsa" on your chips and
frozen burritos.
__________________________
Rotten News.... (true)
Parents swindle daughter
Av Ole Dag Kvamme og Carin Pettersson 11.02.04 10:31
She wanted to be nice and rented a
car on her bankcard for her parents for the weekend. They thanked her by
driving off to Spain, and dumped the bill on her.
"We have never experienced that
parents swindle their daughter in this way," said Hans Eivind Ekaas,
manager at Avis Bilutleie in Kristiansand, to TV 2 Nettavisen. "This is a
textbook example of how wrong things can turn out if you rent a car for someone
else."
The step father pleaded not guilty,
but Krisitansand county court sentenced the mother and the stepfather of the
21-year-old woman to fines and jail for swindling their daughter.
The story started June 27, 2002,
when the mother and stepfather asked if their daughter could lend them her
bankcard so that they could rent a car for a weekend.
Allegedly the truth was that the man
was blacklisted for an old, unsettled matter. The case to a more serious turn
when the parents did not at all took a little trip for the weekend, but took
off to Spain.
According to the rent agreement,
they had a driving limit of 200 kilometres. When Avis finally got the car back
17 days later, the limit had been exceeded with 7,423 kilometres.
The court is sure that the daughter
had no idea of her parents’ plans. She desperately tried to get a hold of them,
and she finally found them in Spain.
They finally came back after they
had been threatened of being reported to the police. Back home a bill of NOK
20,000 (USD 2857) awaited them.
"It is a major ethical dilemma
for us," Ekaas said. "We usually warn people against renting for
others, but how could she imagine this. We have never experienced that parents
swindle their daughter. The daughter cried over her parents, but we had no one
else to direct the claim against someone except her since she was listed as
renter."
The stepfather refused to pay the
bill, and the daughter reported both him and her mother for swindle. The man
finally accepted a payment plan. The police later press charges against him.
Avis Bilutleie warns people against
signing for other people’s loans. It is not a good thing to guarantee for a car
for NOK 250,000 (USD 35,700), said Ekaas.
"In this case, I’m not so
sure," Ekaas said. "It was her parents, and how would you suspect
something like this? I was shocked for several weeks afterwards."
The 42-year-old stepfather was
sentenced to 6 months in jail as a collected punishment for a former sentence,
and the 40-year-old mother, who had no prior convictions, was sentenced to
30 days of suspended sentence. In addition, both of them have to pay court
costs.
**********
Wednesday, 11 February, 2004, 18:22
GMT
Girl's eye glued in drops mix-up
A seven-year-old girl has been told she will not lose her sight after her eye
was glued shut in a bizarre accident.
Michelle Skidmore, from east
Cleveland, accidentally used nail glue instead of eye drops to treat her
daughter.
Doctors have said Karen - who could
not open her eye for three days - may have suffered a scratched cornea.
Ms Skidmore said the two containers
were almost identical and she felt "awful" at what happened.
She urged other parents to carefully
check medication before giving it to their children.
Ms Skidmore said: "On Friday
she [Karen] was diagnosed with conjunctivitis and I went to give the drops to
her. Unfortunately I had some nail glue in the cupboard at the time and I
picked up that instead. When I realised what I had done it was too late as her
eye was glued shut by then. She can see through her eye now, but it is only
half open."
Ms Skidmore admitted it had been a
"stupid" mistake, but was taking advice from Trading Standards and a
solicitor about it.
She added: "The bottles are
very, very similar in colour - they are both lilac and pink - and they have
even got a similar logo on them. Trading standards have had a look, I'm seeing
solicitors about it as well but I just want to warn other mothers to study
medication very carefully, read the label twice if you have to. It was a stupid
mistake, but if you see the bottles they are almost identical with the same
nozzle and everything."
**********
Wed, February 11, 2004
U.S. men's magazine names Hillary
Clinton one of 25 'toughest guys'
NEW YORK (AP) - U.S. Senator Hillary
Rodham Clinton has been called many things, a savvy politician, a devoted wife.
But Men's Journal magazine is adding
one more description to that list: Tough Guy. In its March issue, already on
newsstands, the magazine publishes its annual list of The 25 Toughest Guys in
America - and Clinton weighs in at No. 25, just behind human crash-test dummy
Rusty Haight, who has been in 740 car wrecks
It's the first time Men's Journal
has put a woman on the list, senior editor Tom Foster said.
"I think just looking at what
she's been through and what she represents, that sort of stood for
itself," Foster said. "Would you mess with her?"
Foster referred to Clinton's
handling of the sexual improprieties of her husband, former president Bill
Clinton, in the White House. Hillary Clinton wrote about the pain caused by the
president's affair with a White House intern and the subsequent impeachment
effort in Living History, her White House memoir.
Foster said Clinton's listing -
among athletes, martial artists, racers and wrestlers - is not a lambasting.
"I would think people would
take it as a compliment," he said.
Clinton wasn't the only Washington
figure on the magazine's Toughest Guys list, which was topped by Green Bay
Packers quarterback Brett Favre. Arizona Senator John McCain was No. 5 and U.S.
Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was No. 21, two places above rapper 50 Cent,
who was shot nine times and drove himself to a hospital.
Telephone calls to the Democratic
New York senator's office were not immediately returned Wednesday.