Subject: Daily Dose - 040214 - Special Valentine's Day issue
If Labor Day means that I get a day
off from my job, then....
Does Valentine's Day mean that I get
a day off from my wife?
___________________________
Hey Martha.... (true)
Wed, February 12, 2003
Husband in need of kidney beats odds
when he finds wife is a match
SUDBURY, Ont. (CP) - Robert and
Tracy Nault must have been made for each other.
When doctors told Rob that his life
depended on a kidney transplant, his wife Tracy considered trying to give him
one of hers. Defying incredible odds, she turned out to be a positive match.
"We were told that the chances of me being a compatible donor were very
slim, about a one-in-100,000 chance," she said. "The doctors told us
that if our blood 'kisses' during a cross-matching procedure - if it comes
together and is compatible - we were a match. Our blood kissed."
"Talk about being soul
mates," Rob said. "When we learned that Tracy was a match, we were overwhelmed.
I can't think of a better Valentine's gift."
Rob, 39, started experiencing
symptoms of kidney disease when he was 14. He contracted a virus at an early
age and gradually lost kidney function. He is kept alive by three, four-hour
dialysis treatments a week, but only a transplant will ensure a long life.
"A husband and wife are brought
together to help each other overcome obstacles together. This is a big obstacle
for Rob, and as his partner I want to help him," Tracy said.
The Naults will know by the end of
the week whether the organ transplant will proceed. Doctors at the London
Health Science Center in London, Ont. are running a final set of tests.
The couple expects the transplant to
happen sometime in April.
(Sudbury Star)
********
Tue, February 11, 2003
Iranian police launch crackdown on
Valentine's Day celebrations
By ALI AKBAR DAREINI
TEHRAN (AP) - In a bid to stop the promotion of western values, Iranian police
have launched a crackdown on Valentine's Day celebrations, ordering shops to
remove heart-themed decorations from their windows and confiscating Valentine's
cards.
The crackdown was launched by
plainclothes police Monday after Valentines inundated shopping malls in wealthy
north Tehran and young people began to show great interest in marking the day.
Valentine's Day and its tradition of
exchanging gifts with the opposite sex contradicts conservative morals in a
country where contact between unrelated men and women is strongly discouraged.
"Plainclothes police
confiscated some of our Valentine Day decorations and told us to remove
attractive Valentine cards from our windows. They offered no reason for the
crackdown," said shopkeeper Shahab Amirkhani.
Amirkhani's shop is one of many in
the sprawling Qaem Shopping Mall near Tajrish Square in north Tehran prevented
from a showing off products for the Feb. 14 holiday.
He said he removed the large
"Happy Valentine's Day" decorations from his window but was still meeting
"unending demands" from young customers.
"They (the police) are opposed
to love and affection," said Mina, an 18-year old girl who was buying a
Valentine's card for her boyfriend. She refused to give her last name.
"They don't want us to be happy because Valentine's Day promotes
happiness."
Amirkhani and fellow shopkeeper
Hamed Hosseini said they have been told to go to the vice police headquarters
in north Tehran, apparently to pledge that they will not sell products
promoting western values.
"Though they are denying us of
a brisk business, I'm not looking for trouble. I have to listen to them and
remove anything representing the celebration against my wish," Hosseini
said.
Amir Rezaei, 23, said the crackdown
would backfire.
"There are a lot of good things
in the western culture. They can't force people to buy and like what
conservatives buy or like. It only creates hatred. It only backfires," he
said. "Police even objected to little mice couple in our window because
they were embracing each other," shopkeeper Hosseini said.
In Iran, public embracing between
men and women is considered taboo.
********
Thursday February 14, 2002
Scantily dressed woman gives
Winnipeg cop eyeful
WINNIPEG (CP) -- A Winnipeg woman on
her way to give a friend a valentine surprise gave a cop an eyeful Thursday
when she got pulled over for going through a red light.
Police say the 39 year-old woman was
dressed only in lacy lingerie and fishnet stockings. She explained to the male
officer that she was on her way to visit a special friend.
The officer issued the woman a
ticket and is "recovering", police say.
___________________________
Ladies, we've been taking care of
your teeth for years, now let us work on your *other* "cavity":
The new Teledyne WaterDik!
Developed by a leading Swedish
scientist bikini team, the new Teledyne WaterDik uses a system of unique
contoured brushes and water pressure to keep Mom smiling brightly!
Automatically adjusting speed for
best performance, the WaterDik senses when it's time to increase pressure and
when it's time to "move faster, dammit!" Settings include
"pulse", "vibrate", "rock and roll", "don't
wait on me", and "Harrison Ford".
In addition to our
"Personal" WaterDik system, we also have our "Family" model
(complete with four color coded jet tips), and our "Professional"
model (complete with Dom Perignon and roses.)
With Valentine's Day just around the
corner, the WaterDik is sure to please.
(Legal Notice: Teledyne
encourages responsible use of its WaterDik product and suggests you never
"Dik" yourself without putting food and water within
reach. You might also tell your friends, family, and loved ones that
you'll be "gone for awhile" and prepare a power of attorney for them
to administer your affairs while using the WaterDik.)
___________________________
DDL
This love story's well worth
repeating:
Dr. Frankenstein once sent a greeting
Which on Valentine's Day
Took his girl's breath away
'Cause the heart he sent her was still beating!
___________________________
Knock knock
Who's there?
Willube
Willube who?
Will you be my valentine?
From Nicole Wheeler, Age 12-
Watertown, MA:
____________________________
Feb 14
The eve of the Roman feast of
Lupercalia. Naked youths would run through Rome, anointed with the blood of
sacrificed dogs and goats, waving thongs cut from the goats. If a young woman
was struck by the thong, fertility was assured.
Pope Gelasius I decided this was a bit
too much, and co-opted the Roman holiday to be the Feast of St. Valentine in
484 A.D.
_____________________________
Rotten News.... (true)
Thursday, February 14, 2002
BUCHAREST, Romania — Romanian lovers have gone lunatic. For Valentine's
Day, sweethearts are giving each other plots of land on the moon.
"Chocolates get eaten. Flowers
wilt in three days. The crystal glass gets dusty and then breaks. But the moon
is forever," said Adi Dragan, who's pitching the plots as the ultimate
romantic gift -- and donating the proceeds to his wife's foundation for the
physically disabled.
Dragan, 31, a former advertising
executive, is authorized by the U.S.-based Lunar Embassy to sell a plot of 177
acres for $49, half the average monthly salary in Romania.
The lunar real estate business began
to really take off in 1996, when Lunar Embassy -- founded by Dennis Hope, a
Nevada entrepreneur -- claimed to have found a loophole in the 1967 U.N. Outer
Space Treaty that lets him legally sell pieces of the moon.
Lunar plots have sold well in
Europe, even though few if any buyers can hope to see their land in their
lifetimes.
Dragan said he's been swamped by
phone calls to his Bucharest apartment, which doubles as his office. So far, he
says, he's sold several dozen plots to buyers from the capital and other
cities.
"People have been asking me if
their property is next to an American star's, like Madonna," said Dragan,
who began selling the lots in December. "Romanians are worried that
someone else may already have bought the rights to their property."
Armando Dima, a 30-year-old
Bucharest businessman, bought a lunar lot for his fiancee.
"There is a saying in Romania
that says, 'I would give you the moon in heaven,' and I wanted to do this
literally," he said. "When we marry, it's good to have
property," he whispered, stepping out of earshot of his girlfriend to
preserve the Valentine Day's surprise.
Land on the moon captures Romanians'
imaginations because they're romantic by nature, and because many yearn to own
real property and be original after decades of communism.
********
SELF-MUTILATING EX-BEAU IN ‘PIECE'
OFFERING
By Larry Celona, Phil Messing, Ed Robinson and Brad Hunter
February 15, 2002 -- A disgruntled
Romeo celebrated Valentine's Day by giving his ex-lover the finger - literally.
Cops say 24-year-old Forest Simon of
Brooklyn chopped his left middle finger off and then sent the detached digit to
his stunned ex-gal pal - who works at the tony Patricia Fields Salon.
Fields is the celebrated designer
behind the sultry styles of "Sex and the City." But on TV, the suitor
known as "Big" sends only flowers.
"He was trying to impress
her," a police source said of Simon's macabre offering.
Apparently, Simon still pined for
the 27-year-old Brooklyn woman - even though they broke up 18 months ago after
a short courtship.
He was held on a charge of
aggravated harassment pending a psychological assessment at Bellevue.
*****
V-Day carnival celebrates vaginas,
raises money
By Abiah Weaver
February 14, 2003
By tossing bean bags named Orgasmic,
Angry and Giddy through a vagina-shaped hole, students helped raise money for
local charities at the Vagina Carnival Tuesday night.
"The carnival is just another
part of the entire V-Day week," said Tyrone Brown, Associated Students
Productions social issues coordinator. "We wanted to demystify the word
'vagina.' By calling the event a carnival, we hoped people would recognize it
as a festive atmosphere and come to raise money."
V-Day, an annual event celebrated on
Valentine's Day, is a global movement to raise money to end violence against
women.
In the past, Western has only
celebrated V-Day with one main event: "The Vagina Monologues"
production, Brown said. This year, however, Brown and other students organized
a series of events, including the carnival, a silent protest against sexual
assault and an empowerment workshop, to make people more aware of violence
against women.
Approximately 50 students wandered
around the Viking Union multipurpose room, decorating oval sugar cookies with
pink frosting and chocolate sprinkles and posing for pictures with a large,
painted vagina. Students also designed a V-Day mural with hearts and phrases
such as "Whoo hoo for vaginas" and "Luv your flower."
"It is important to have these
things on college campuses to show tolerance to women and especially to the
vagina," said Lee Layman, Western freshman and carnival volunteer.
Feeling their way through layers of
stuffed pink felt stapled to an easel, students also played "Pin the Clit
on the Vagina," a game with the goal of winning a vagina-shaped lollipop
or female condoms.
"Basically, I hand the person
their clitoris," Layman said, holding the red heart-shaped pillow.
"Then I blindfold them, and they have to find their way by feeling the
vagina. If it is woman and she's having a little trouble, I help her out. But
if it is a man, he's on his own. He should know where to go."
__________________________
Things not to say on your
Valentine's date
* I really don't like this
restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it
expired.
* I refuse to get cable. That's how
they keep tabs on you.
* I used to come here all the time
with my ex.
* I never said you NEED a nose job.
I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
* Could you excuse me? My cat gets
lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
* I really feel that I've grown in
the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second
look.
* And I won that trophy in the
inter-fraternity belching contest.
* I know you said you don't eat
anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you
ask.
* It's been tough, but I've come to
accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.