Subject: Daily Dose - 040207 - challenging sentences, This Is True, hospital shower, St. Peter, DDL, Rotten News

Kids in Mrs. Thompson's class were asked to make sentences out of words chosen by the teacher.

Mrs. Thompson smiled when Mikey, a young-slacker, raised his hand to participate during the challenge of making a sentence of the words "Defeat," "Defense," "Deduct," and "Detail."

Mikey stood up, thinking for a while, and all the other kids focused on him while his classmates awaited his reply. Proudly, he smiled and then shouted out, "Defeat of deduct went over defense before detail."

___________________________

THIS is TRUE....

SEARCH AND SEIZURE: A student told a teacher at Parkview High School in Bossier City, La., that sophomore Amanda Stiles was smoking in the bathroom. The teacher confronted Stiles and searched her purse, but found no cigarettes or lighters. She did, however, find something else: Advil, an over-the-counter medication used to relieve headaches and menstrual cramps. "Pills!" screamed the school administrators. Possessing drugs on campus is a "zero tolerance" infraction, they point out, so they expelled Stiles for a year. The expulsion was upheld by the School Board's administrative committee and Superintendent Ken Kruithof. (Shreveport Times)
...Thus perpetuating their smug satisfaction that they're "doing something" about the "drug problem."

*******

ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE: Even though Houston, Texas, school Superintendent Rod Paige ordered all schools in his district to expel violent students four years ago, teachers complain students who assault and harass them are still in class. Houston Federation of Teachers union President Gayle Fallon says principals aren't expelling violent kids since that decreases funding. A district spokesman denies that claim, saying schools get $15 per day per student, and "no principal in their right mind is going to keep a dangerous kid in their school for $15." (Houston Chronicle)
...Right: not when they can have much more fun getting rid of kids armed with Advil.

*******

HOW DO YOU DEFINE LOSER? Oregon state minimum-security prison inmate Jason Hayes, 29, was doing his assigned job when he noticed the guards were looking the other way. "He just walked," a prison spokeswoman says, making an escape. After walking for half an hour he passed by the state Department of Corrections headquarters building in Salem. As it happened, a DoC employee was getting into her car and noticed his prison uniform. Her job: chasing down escaped fugitives. She confronted Hayes and he ran, jumping over a barbed-wire-topped fence -- landing in the middle of a training exercise for the police SWAT team. He was quickly arrested. (Portland Oregonian)
..."Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped." --Elbert Hubbard (1856-1915), American author.

********

A CHILI RECEPTION: When Larry Eastep couldn't go to Terlingua, Texas, to compete in a chili cook-off, his brother, Don, 64, went instead. Don wasn't a chili chef, but he enjoyed the event anyway. As he went around from booth to booth to sample the various entries, he put a spoonful of each cook's effort into a pot and, at the end, submitted the mix as his entry in the competition. He won. Eastep was too stunned to protest. "I was afraid if I would have said something at the time, a Texas lynch mob would have come after me," he said later. Other cooks protested, since they didn't see Eastep cooking, so he quickly 'fessed up and turned the trophy over to the runner-up. Judge Tom Nall called Eastep a "rotten, no-good scoundrel" who is banned from future competitions. (Washington Post)
...Nobody likes a winner.

*********

LOOK ... BEHIND ... YOU: "Many Women at Risk of Being Murdered Don't Know It"
-- Reuters headline

___________________________

The night before the old man's bypass surgery, the doctor wanted him to take a shower; which was fine with him, after three days of using a basin and washcloth.

As he walked down the hall, he had a Nurse on either side. The one asked, "Are you going to be able to manage OK?"

He said, "I feel weak and dizzy.  Perhaps both of you would be kind enough to get in the shower with me."

The little blonde Nurse looked up and said, "Nice try."

___________________________

Three people were trying to get into heaven. Peter asked the first, "Who's there?" "It's me, Albert Jones," the voice replied. St. Peter let him in.

Then St. Peter asked the second one the second same question, "Who's there?" "It's me, Charlie Jones." And St. Peter let him in.

Finally he turns to the third, asking the same question, "Who's there?" "It is I, Verla Chapman," answered the third. "Oh, great," muttered St. Peter. "Another one of those English teachers."

___________________________

DDL

If you crossed a young intern, Lewinsky,
With a man by the name of Kaczynski,
Then the blow jobs you'd get
Would be dynamite! Yet,
You might end up without a fore-skin-ski!

____________________________

A software expert claims: “My software never has bugs -- it just develops random features.”

____________________________

The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all.
-Harry S. Truman

____________________________

They say a man isn’t complete till he’s married;

then he’s finished!

_____________________________

Rotten News....  (true)

Dog Bites Sheriff Patrol Car, Twice
Sun May 4, 7:00 AM ET

STATESBORO, Ga. - A dog in Bulloch County apparently has a taste for cars, particularly patrol cars.

A dog bit the rear bumper of Bulloch County Sheriff's Deputy Jimmy Billings' patrol car several times when he responded to a burglar alarm call on April 20. Sheriff's officials released a report on the incident Wednesday.

Billings noticed a large black dog and other dogs near the patrol car as he left the burglar alarm call to respond to an auto accident call. He said he didn't notice damage to the car — several holes in the bumper — until he got out of the 2003 Ford Crown Victoria at the accident scene.

Billings notified his superior and then returned to the location of the burglar alarm call to make sure he didn't initially damage the car by backing into something.

But when he returned, he witnessed the large black dog bite the other side of the rear bumper, he wrote in the report.

*********

Couple Uses Duct Tape For Prom Attire

RED WING, Minn. - Instead of the usual formal prom attire, Samantha Isakson and Luke Peterson chose a stickier option.

Isakson and Peterson crafted their 16th-century costumes using nearly 70 rolls of tape in five colors. This was the third year Duck Brand duct tape sponsored "Stuck on Prom."

Contestants vie for a top college scholarship prize of $5,000 per couple. This was the first time Red Wing High School students entered, and judging by the crowd's reaction to their entrance, Isakson and Peterson stood a chance.

Isakson used two Hula Hoops to create the farthingale — the basket-like undergarment that held women's skirts out 400 years ago. Thin strips of tape created the look of gussets and gores on both costumes.

Peterson said neither he nor his date was worried their costumes would unravel during the dance.

"I have some tape hidden in my hat, just in case," Peterson said.

*********

Fla. Deputy Pepper Sprays 12-Year-Old Jaywalker
Posted: 3:15 a.m. EDT May 3, 2003

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. -- A deputy used pepper spray on a 12-year-old girl and wrestled her to the ground when she ignored repeated orders to stop jaywalking, the sheriff's office said Friday.

Broward County sheriff's deputy Michael Roberto was issuing jaywalking tickets to students crossing a busy highway Thursday when he asked the girl to stand next to his motorcycle so he could give her a citation, the deputy's report said.

But the girl, who was not immediately identified, became upset and began to curse, Roberto said in the report. The girl also walked away and ignored four more orders to stop and put her hands behind her back, he said.

The girl, who is 5 feet 1 inch and 134 pounds, threatened to hit Roberto and rolled her hand in a fist, the report said. The deputy repeatedly warned her that he would use pepper spray if she didn't listen.

"After the last warning and order, it became apparent that I had to choose between a physical fight and using the pepper spray," Roberto wrote. "I sprayed her in the face."

The girl then knocked the spray can out of Roberto's hand, so the deputy wrestled the girl to the ground and handcuffed her, the report said. The girl, who was not injured, was charged with failure to use a crosswalk and resisting arrest without violence, both misdemeanors. She was released to her mother.

The girl likely won't face any jail time on the charges, sheriff's spokesman Jim Leljedahl said.

Leljedahl said there is no age policy for the use of pepper spray. The police report and witness accounts suggest Roberto acted within the sheriff's office's rules, Leljedahl said.

"Pepper spray is an appropriate response when we meet with defensive resistance," Leljedahl said Friday. "In this case, she was belligerent and aggressive, even."