Subject: Daily Dose - 040125 - subject of fidelity, THIS is TRUE, wife's description, DDL, Rotten News

Sitting at the bar, sad Rob told the bartender that he was drinking to forget the heartbreak of his broken engagement.

“Yeah,” said Rob, “would you marry someone who didn’t know the meaning of the word faithful, and who was flip and even vicious when the subject of fidelity came up?”

“ No way in hell” said the bartender.

“Well, said Rob, “neither would my fiancée.”

____________________________

THIS is TRUE....

I DO TOO: When Amar Verma of Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh, India, asked to marry his beloved, her father said yes -- if he also married her disabled sister. Verma said yes, much to the consternation of local authorities, who aren't sure if the plan is legal. "It would be difficult to prove which of the two is actually the second marriage since the girls are being married simultaneously," said a legal expert. "Hence the court cannot nullify the second marriage." Verma says he has "developed a liking for both" sisters and is "confident there will be no problems later on." (AFP)
...Making him twice as optimistic as the average groom.

*******

AND THEY'RE OFF: An unidentified man called in a A$6 (US$4.33) bet on the Melbourne Cup, Australia's biggest horse race, asking that it be entered several times. "He wanted a box trifecta 20 times," said a TAB Limited spokesman, "but the operator keyed in 203 times on the combination." The punter didn't mind in the end: the bet was a winner and netted him A$2.6 million (US$1.9 million). He didn't learn of the error until he called the bookies to find out why there was such a large credit in his account. TAB confirms the man gets to keep the windfall. (Sydney Telegraph)
...TAB trifecta twenty stealthily transforms tenfold, but thunderstruck punter takes tidings in treasury.

********

IT'S NOT LIKE THE ERROR IS SET IN STONE. WELL, MAYBE IT IS: The Canadian Broadcasting Corp. says a granite map of Canada just installed in the lobby of its new building in Ottawa, Ont., has several geographical errors, such as making Vancouver Island a peninsula and annexing Alaska. The broadcaster says it's up to the building's owner whether to fix it, but a spokesman for Morguard Corp., who commissioned the building, claims the map is "not a map of Canada, it's a piece of art" which is "not representative of Canada, per se." Will they fix it? "Why would I?" the spokesman asked. "You wouldn't go back to Picasso and say add another nose over here on this piece. You wouldn't do it. I'm not going do that. I'm not an artist." (Ottawa Citizen)
...Yes he is. A spin artist. And a bad one at that.

********

WAR GAMES: The good news is, the Netherlands and Norway are cooperating on military exercises together. The bad news is, a Dutch F16 jet accidentally dropped a bomb very near officials observing the exercise. The good news is, the bomb was a dud, and didn't explode. The bad news is, the bomb does contain explosives and the area had to be cordoned off. (Aftenposten)
...The good and bad news is, the bomb disposal units now have something to do.

********

BUT ONLY WHEN THEY REALLY SCREW UP: "German Airbag Theft Exploding"
-- Reuters headline

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One day, a foreign family arrived in New York City. This was the first time out of their native village, and it didn't take long before the wife got lost.

The husband asked a passerby for help and was told to go to the police and report it. When he got there, a police officer asked him for the wife's description.

"What's that?" asked the man.

"Well, you see a description is telling what something looks like. For example, my wife is 25-years-old, 5'11", 140 lbs, 38-25-36 measurements.

Now, what can you tell me about your wife?"

"The hell with her, lets go look for yours!"

____________________________

DDL

There was a young artist called Saint,
Who swallowed some samples of paint.
All shades of the spectrum
Flowed out of his rectum
With a colorful lack of restraint.

____________________________

Said the good little girl to the bad little girl; "It's awfully hard to be good"

Said the bad little girl to the good little girl; "It's got to be hard to be good"

_____________________________

What makes a happy man?

Daughter on cover of Society.
Son on cover of Sports Illus.
Mistress on cover of Playboy
Wife on cover of "missing persons"

______________________________

"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
-Jim Bishop

______________________________

Rotten News....  (true)

Father and Son Drown Trying to Drown Dog
Tuesday December 09, 2003 5:59pm
Reporter: Christina Muñoz

Eudora - A man and his son drowned Monday night after the son tried to drown their dog. It happened near the city of Eudora, just outside of city limits. Police say the son fell into a pit full of water inside an old cotton gin and the father went in after him.

Police say the son and his cousin were trying to drown their pit bull, because the dog was old and wouldn't fight anymore. Before drowning the dog, the son fell in and the cousin ran for help.

18-year-old Eugene Weston Junior and his cousin planned to drown their pit bull in an old abandoned cotton gin across the street from their home.

The gin hadn't been used in more than 30 years and inside the pit was a thick combination of water, oil, diesel fuel, hydraulic fluid, and dirt. As the son looked into the eight to ten foot pit, he slipped and fell in.

The cousin ran for help and called 9-1-1. That's when the father, 42-year-old Eugene Weston Senior, jumped into the pit after his son.

The pit bull is still alive and unharmed.

(no...  no relation to me, thank goodness...)

*********

Sat, Dec 13, 2003
"Bored" teens rack up 80 million Internet bill  
Fri Dec 12,12:00 PM ET 

BERLIN (Reuters) - Three German teenagers are under investigation for fraud after they spent 130 million euros (80 million pounds) in a two-hour Internet shopping spree, claiming they were "bored," authorities say.

The 19-year-olds splashed out on light aircraft, patents, industrial machinery, restaurants and artwork after hacking into an account on an Internet auction site.

"They gave boredom as the motive and made no attempt to disguise what fun they had buying only the most expensive things," according to police in the western town of Limburg. State prosecutors are investigating.

*********

'Bullet-proof' man shot dead
17/12/2003 12:51  - (SA)  

Lagos - A traditional doctor in central Nigeria has been shot dead by a patient who was testing the potency of an anti-bullet charm the herbalist had prepared for him, police said on Wednesday.

Ashi Terfa died when patient Umaa Akor fired a gun at his head two weeks ago in south-central Benue state, police spokesperson Bode Fakeye said.

"Akor went for an insurance against bullets and contacted Terfa to prepare it for him," he said. "To confirm its efficacy, the herbalist tied the charm around his neck and insisted that Akor should fire a gun at him. The experiment proved fatal for the herbalist and his skull was shattered," he added. "He died immediately".

Fakeye said the suspect had appeared in court for culpable homicide, but had been release on bail.

"The motive to kill could not be established against the suspect since the herbalist asked him to shoot to test the charm," he added.

The belief in withcraft and charms is rife in Africa.