Daily Dose - 030518 - Big Or Little, BIZARRE NEWS, news camerman, DDL, Rotten News
Big Or Little
TRUE FACT:
Male sperm (Y) swim faster and die sooner than female sperm (X), because female sperm contain heavier genetic material, which slows them down but allows them to live longer.
THEREFORE:
Males with longer penises tend to produce more male offspring because they deposit the sperm closer to the egg and Y sperm cells win the "sprint." Males with shorter penises tend to have more female offspring because sperm is deposited further from the egg, Y sperm die off thus allowing X sperm to win the "marathon."
CONCLUSION:
Look at your family. This tells you whether or not your father had a big one.
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BIZARRE NEWS....
Bizarre People FACTS
The name Wendy was first used in JM Barrie's Peter Pan.
Lady Peseshet of Ancient Egypt (2600-2100 BC) is the world's first known female physician.
The 16th century Escorial palace of King Phillip II of Spain had 1,200 doors.
Julius Caesar was known as a great swimmer.
The people killed most often during bank robberies are the robbers.
Orville Wright numbered the eggs that his chickens produced so he could eat them in the order they were laid.
On New Year's Day, 1907, Theodore Roosevelt shook hands with 8,513 people.
Alexander Graham Bell never phoned his wife or mother because they were deaf.
Burt Reynold's father was the chief of police in West Palm Beach, Florida.
English sailors came to be called Limeys after using lime juice to combat scurvy.
Leonardo da Vinci could write with the one hand and draw with the other simultaneously.
Until he was 18, Woody Allen read virtually nothing but comic books but did show his writing skills. He sold one-liners for ten cents each to gossip columnists.
Thomas Jefferson wrote his own epitaph without mentioning that he was US President.
In 1973, Swedish confectionery salesman Roland Ohisson was buried in a coffin made entirely of chocolate.
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Man Steals $9,000 Worth of Sex
BERLIN - A German court has ordered a brothel to reimburse a man charged for sex he could not remember having, after the establishment failed to provide an itemized receipt for services rendered.
The brothel charged him $9,000 on his credit card. The man told the court he had been too drunk to remember what services he received and, therefore, wanted his money back.
According to the owner of the brothel, the man ordered the "full program." A court spokesman said a receipt in the form of, "two sexual intercourse sessions at $600, oral sex at $300 or anal sex at $400 a go," should have been issued.
All that, and he can't remember?
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Robbin' The Cradle
ALABAMA - For some couples, love knows no age. This has to be the case for Daina Sancho and Irwin Vincent O'Rourke III of Alabama. 42-year-old Sancho, mother of two, married 14-year-old O'Rourke in Mobile County Probate Court on his 14th birthday.
Though it may sound illegal, the state only requires a minor be at least 14 years old and that both parents sign a consent, which O'Rourke's parents were willing to do.
Now the young husband will have to do his best to be a father figure to Sancho's oldest daughter, who happens to be only five years younger than him.
This story would have been a lot more shocking had it occurred in a state other than Alabama.
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Photo Shoot Nabs Crook
RICHMOND, VA. - It looks like the attempted bank robber had all the cameras accounted for except for one. Bizarrely enough, on April Fool's Day, a picture was being taken for an alumni magazine that captured the image of an attempted robbery in the background.
Bank executive Spencer Hamrick, Jr., was in the lobby of a Wachovia bank posing while, just behind him, his bank was being robbed. The photographer thought the stickup guys was a customer and would provide a nice background for the shoot.
The thief apparently passed a note to a teller demanding money and claimed he had a gun. Hamrick thought it was an April Fool's prank.
The robber is in three of the photographer's pictures and was identified by police, while the bank's cameras failed to capture any images of the suspect.
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Apparently, Drugs Are Stronger Than Electricity
FRESNO, Calif. - Though drugs might not allow criminals to think clearly, it seems they allow the crooks to have super-human capabilities. Believed to be high on drugs of some sort, Carlos Cruz was chased by police after his ex-girlfriend called police while he chased her present boyfriend into the street with a steak knife.
Police confronted the Cruz and shot him once with a Taser. Unfazed, Cruz ran back into the house, through a sliding glass door, into the back yard and through a wooden fence.
He was shot again with the Taser but kept on trucking. After a third hit, police were able to slow him down and slap on the handcuffs.
I'd hate to be him when the drugs wear off.
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Sorry, Try Robbing Us Again Later
PINE BLUFF, Ark. - It's one thing to have a bank robbery attempt not go as planned. It's another to be unsuccessful and have the bank staff laugh in your face.
A man walked up to a bank teller and demanded money be put into a garbage bag he had with him. After the first teller told him they were out of money, he walked up to another teller who offered the man deposit slips so he could throw in some money to steal.
The employees proceeded to laugh at the man as he stormed out of the bank empty-handed. Minutes after tellers alerted authorities, Julius Kearney was picked up by police.
Perhaps the young man was just unlucky that the bank ran out of money that day.
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While working as a television news camerman, I arrived at an accident scene, and a cameraman from another station pulled up behind me. As I parked the news cruiser, I heard a policeman on the scanner using the radio phonetic alphabet to alert other officers. "Be aware that the Mike Echo Delta India Alpha has arrived," he said.
I approached the officer, looked him in the eye and said, "You might be surprised to know that some of us in the Mike Echo Delta India Alpha can Sierra Papa Echo Lima Lima."
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DDL
There once was a man names Homer
Who had a kidney stone stuck in his boner.
He did scream and shout
When they yanked that sucker out.
And his piss shot all the way to Tacoma!
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Sign posted in the Army recruiting office: "Marry a veteran, Girls. He can cook, make beds, sew, and is already used to taking orders."
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There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with.
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The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if left alone long enough, will develop into something you can't afford either.
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Rotten News... (true)
Alleged Phony Rockefeller Heir Arraigned
Sat Apr 12, 6:29 PM ET Add AP - Feature Stories to My Yahoo!
NEW YORK - A Frenchman accused of posing as a Rockefeller heir to swindle wealthy acquaintances out of more than $1.5 million has pleaded innocent to federal fraud charges.
Christopher Rocancourt, 36, was arraigned Friday on 11 counts including charges of passport fraud and credit card fraud, and was ordered held without bail. He was extradited last month from Canada, where he was arrested in 2000.
Prosecutors have accused Rocancourt of pretending to be a nonexistent Rockefeller heir, royalty and a Formula One racing driver while bilking victims, allegedly by promising fantastic returns on investments and demanding cash up front for expenses.
He faces up to 6 1/2 years in prison if convicted of all charges.
Rocancourt also faces charges of fraud and grand larceny in suburban Suffolk County, and passport fraud and weapons possession in California. He pleaded guilty to fraud charges last year in Canada.
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Little Falls residents uneasy about French flag in town
Associated Press
Published March 28, 2003 FLAG29
LITTLE FALLS, MINN. -- It's wartime, but almost no one is rallying around a flag flying along the Mississippi River in Little Falls.
The flag is French, and has flown alongside an American flag in Le Bourget Park for years.
Mayor Brian Mackinac says the school board's cutting millions, the city is losing half its budget but what everyone is talking about in town is the flag.
The recent diplomatic sparring between the United States and France over Iraq has some locals saying it's time to take down the flag.
Le Bourget is the Parisian suburb where Little Falls aviator Charles Lindbergh landed after his trans-Atlantic flight in 1927.
It became Little Falls' sister city 15 years ago.
Jenelle Peters, chairwoman of the Little Falls Sister City committee, worries that taking down the flag will hurt friendships between residents of the two cities.
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Saddam Lookalikes Sought
LONDON (Reuters) - Saddam Hussein (news - web sites) lookalikes have gone out of fashion in Iraq but a London theater producer wants to recruit doubles of the ousted Iraqi leader for a play to be staged this summer. Actors resembling Saddam are invited to a rehearsal for the satiric revue due to open in London in June, an advertisement in this week's The Stage newspaper said.
Flak jackets and berets will be provided and fake mustaches are available for clean-shaven applicants at the May 1 open rehearsal.
Saddam was known to have had several doubles, men who had undergone surgery and mimicked his gestures and expressions perfectly. It is not the first time the theater has issued a call for an ousted or dead leader, The Stage said.
Four years ago there was a request for a Slobodan Milosevic lookalike. Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin and former Argentine dictator General Leopoldo Galtieri doubles have also taken their famous forerunner's to the stage.