Daily Dose - 030330 - A GOLDEN DAY, BIZARRE NEWS, BRAIN TEASERS, DDL, Rotten
News
A GOLDEN DAY?
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pigpen when the old
woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary...
"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."
The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why
the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."
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BIZARRE NEWS........
Bizarre Useless FACTS
Butterflies taste with their feet.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.
On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
A snail can sleep for three years.
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and
eyelashes.
Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
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Fake Surgeon Gives Fake Faces
NEW YORK - Before you have any plastic surgery done, it might be a good idea to check out
your surgeon's background.
A man was convicted of disfiguring five women with plastic surgery he wasn't qualified to
perform. Vincente Galarza, 50, performed liposuction, a tummy tuck, nose surgery and breast
implantation on seven women between the ages of 30 and 58 without a medical license.
He was arrested back in April 2001 after police visited the El Centro de Estetica clinic in
Queens and found an unconscious woman bleeding from the head on an operating table.
Galarza was found hiding in a nearby closet. He faces up to seven years in prison where he's
sure to have some work done on him in return.
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Surgeon Graffiti
LEXINGTON, Ky. -- Some sports fans take their team spirit a bit too far.
A surgeon who graduated from the University of Kentucky is being sued by Stephanie Means
and her husband after he apparently used a cauterizing instrument to intentionally brand the
letters "UK" on her uterus.
Incriminating himself further, the doctor videotaped the operation and gave a copy to Means
and her husband.
The lawsuit says the tape clearly shows the doctor carving the letters into the woman's
uterus.
It looks like any of Means' future children will be University of Kentucky material.
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Shar-pei 1, Ignorant Puppy-Kicker 0
WINCHESTER, Va. - In a fatal twist of irony, a man who was attempting to beat his dog to
death ended up killing himself in the process.
As 43-year-old Raymond Poore Jr. pummeled his 30-pound shar-pei with a combination rifle
and shotgun, the firearm went off and fatally wounded the man. His wife came home and
found her husband unconscious, with a number of dog bites and scratches.
Police Captain David Sobonya said that the stock of the weapon was broken and appeared to
have blood and dog hair on it.
There are no details on the further condition of the shar-pei, but it's pretty safe to say that the
man fought the dog and the dog won.
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This Contest Was a Pain in the Ass
ENGLAND - Some severely burned backsides have landed a British radio station in a load of
trouble.
BRMB, based in Birmingham, central England, was fined by the courts for holding a
competition that left three contestants with severe ice burns and permanent scars.
The "Coolest Seats In Town" contest challenged participants to sit on blocks of dry ice to win
tickets for a music festival. The frozen blocks sat at a butt-chapping minus 78 degrees
Celsius (-108.4 Fahren-heit).
As a result, two women and a man spent around 10 weeks in the hospital recovering from
extensive skin grafts that they were forced to undergo.
To get some restitution for this incident, it would be wise for the victims not to sit on this case
for too long.
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What Happens When You Pray REALLY Hard
NEW HARTFORD, Conn. - Every now and again, people will have their prayers answered.
Some people receive blessings they didn't even ask for.
When Diane Kurtz couldn't find her car keys, she prayed to the patron saint of lost articles, St.
Anthony, to return them to her. Not only did she get the keys back that day, but also a 1 carat
diamond wedding ring she had lost 15 years ago.
It was found in the muck at the bottom of a wastewater drainage pool by a Hartford sewage
treatment worker.
The man who found it had to do some in-depth detective work checking state public records
to find the right Kurtz family. The family believes the ring accidentally fell down the sink in a
bathroom.
It might be a good idea for her to also pray to St. Winsalot, the patron saint of the lottery.
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FEW BRAIN TEASERS:
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is
full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions
that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful
dinner together.
How can this be?
3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a
barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?
4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
6. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual
about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong
with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything
odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
Answers:
1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and
hung it up to dry.
3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able
to tell which water came from which jug.
4. The answer is Charcoal.
5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!
6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear
once in the long paragraph.
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DDL
The court hadn't seen in an age
The king in so vicious a rage;
For the queen, so she said,
Went to read in her bed,
Where the king found her stuck to a page.
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Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard
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We should not say bad stuff about the illiterate, we should write it
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It took a while but after their number dwindled from fifty to eight the other dwarfs began to
suspect Hungry
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Rotten News.... (true)
Breast milk meals spark Chinese fury
January 30 2003
Revelations that a restaurant in China is serving dishes cooked with human breast milk
farmed from mothers living in rural areas have sparked public fury, newspapers reported
yesterday.
Several editorials in the Chinese press slammed the meals as "immoral", while online chat
rooms blasted the restaurant owner and threatened to tear his place down.
"Goddammit, it is disgusting and wrong to deceive the young peasant mothers," who were
reportedly used to provide the milk, one young woman surnamed Huang said on the
Sina.com website.
A public official, writing on the same website, said it wasn't right to use a mother's milk for
cooking as it was needed to feed their babies.
Local media reported earlier this week that a restaurant in Changsha, capital of southern
Hunan province, offered two dishes to reporters cooked with breast milk for the first time on
January 25 - an abalone dish and a perch dish.
The owner, who was not named, planned to expand the business to the boom town of
Shenzhen across the border from Hong Kong. There was also talk of a banquet featuring 108
dishes made with human milk.
The Beijing Times said the milk came from six peasant women who were still breast-feeding
their children. No details were given on how much they were paid.
One furious reader on Sina.com asked for the address of the restaurant. "I'm going to tear it
down," he said.
It was nor clear whether using breast milk for cooking violated any laws.
AFP
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Tuesday, 21 January, 2003, 20:39 GMT
Cabbie foils rugby team's game plan
A taxi driver who found a rugby team's gameplan in his cab believes he ruined their chances
of success by passing it on to their rivals.
The Limerick cabbie spotted Gloucester Rugby Club's vital plan hours before their European
Cup game against Munster. And he says he managed to get it to the home side's
management just in time for them to scupper Gloucester's Heineken Cup hopes.
Now he hopes the team will repay the favour by paying for him to attend another big match
for free.
The driver, who did not want to be named, said: "I looked on the ground and I saw this piece
of paper and being a taxi driver I thought it was money.
"So I went to check it out and when it wasn't I was just about to throw it out of the window
when I looked at it and nearly crashed the car."
Later on in the same shift he picked up Shannon rugby club player Brian Buckley, who looked
at the plan and told him how important his find was.
"I gave him the plan and he looked at it and he nearly fainted in the car. He said I had to get it
to the Munster team," the driver explained.
When he could not get hold of anybody from the team he went to the host of a local radio
sports show and handed him a photocopy of the plan to pass on.
The next morning he watched as Munster beat the English league leaders by 27 points to go
through to the quarter-finals of the Heineken Cup.
"I got up and watched the match in my dressing gown - I was like a lunatic," he said.
He said he hoped Munster would repay him by giving him free tickets and accommodation for
the Celtic League final in Cardiff.
And he said he planned to use the original document to create framed plaques to sell for a
Limerick charity.
The driver said he had not made any attempt to contact the original owner of the plan.
"If it was money he'd have got it back, but this was too important," he said.
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Mon, Jan 13, 2003
Killer reveals deadly alibi
A MAFIA hitman told a stunned judge yesterday he did not commit the double murder he was
accused of — because he was killing two other men at the time.
Salvatore Torre, 33, was standing trial for the Mob killings of Luigi Sano and Bartolo Milone.
But he told the judge in Messina, Sicily: "It was not me who killed those men because that
night I was shooting two others, Sebastiano Campagnolo and Antonio Anastasi."
Torre, already serving life for other Mafia crimes, said he was coming clean because an
innocent man had been jailed for killing Campagnolo and Anastasi.
His trial was halted pending further inquiries.