Daily Dose - 030218 - Who is God?, THIS is TRUE, Inspirational Workplace Posters, DDL,
Rotten News
Mommy, Who is God?
There were four confused 9-year-old little boys, and they were very curious to find out things
about God. The first 9-year-old boy asked his mom, "Mommy, is God male or female?
The mom said, "Son, God is both male and female."
The next confused 9-year-old boy asked his mom, "Mommy, is God black or white?
The mom said, "God is both black and white."
Another confused 9-year-old boy asked his mom, "Mommy, is God gay or straight?"
And the mom said, "Son, God is both gay and straight."
The last confused 9-year-old little boy asked his mom, "Mommy, is God Michael Jackson?"
___________________________
THIS is TRUE........
REMOTE: Harold Cunningham, 31, was working alone at an appliance store in Oklahoma
City, Okla., when he reached up to get a TV off the rack. The whole rack of sets fell. "Three
or four very large televisions fell on him," said a spokesman for the Emergency Medical
Services Authority. Cunningham thinks he was trapped for about 15 minutes before a
customer finally came in and called for help. (The Oklahoman)
...Usually the "new fall TV season" causes a different kind of pain.
********
PINHEAD: "I said, 'OK, man, you're being stupid, put it away'," says Jim Roban, 39. Matt
George, 21, was showing off his new pet rattlesnake to friends at his Yacolt, Wash., home.
George had taken the snake out of its cage to give it a kiss. "He said, 'It's OK, I do it all the
time'." Maybe so, but this time the snake bit him firmly on the upper lip. When George
dropped the snake, Roban killed it. "I thought his head was going to blow up, he was just
swelling and swelling," Roban said. Doctors say George should survive. (Vancouver
Columbian)
...Better get a second opinion on that from Dr. Darwin.
********
VIVA LA RESISTANCE: Eliane Yvonne Marcele Aguillaume, 56, of Antibes Juan-les-Pins,
France, was in Evansville, Ind., to attend a wedding. On her way back home, she was
stopped by Evansville airport security for a search. When a handheld metal detector beeped
and the security screener started to pat her down, Aguillaume became angry and stripped off
her sweater, blouse and bra, then resisted when police officers surrounded her. She was
charged with disorderly conduct at an airport, a felony, and misdemeanor counts of resisting
arrest and public indecency -- all punishable by up to three years in prison. Prosecutors
dropped the felony charge and she pleaded guilty to the other two. She was fined $1 for each
and released. (Evansville Courier & Press)
...Americans: prudes, but often with a sense of humor about it.
*********
FASHION BY MOBIUS: "Crazy Eric", 31, doesn't like being caught without a tool he needs.
Any tool. He has thus created a special set of clothes that houses every tool he thinks he will
ever need. Eric, an electrician who won't tell his last name, lives in Lyon, France, says it
"began very gradually about 10 years ago. First of all it was a screwdriver, then a pair of
scissors, then some snack-bars and a torch." Shaving and first aid kits. A saw, an inflatable
mattress, a water filter. A soldering iron. An umbrella. A paint brush. About 1300 items in all,
including perhaps the most practical: a change of clothes. (AFP)
...Which, of course, has pockets for everything, including a change of clothes....
*********
STOP THE PRESSES! "Canadian Prime Minister Doesn't Think Bush Is 'a Moron'"
-- Reuters headline
__________________________
Inspirational Workplace Posters
If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all those who
opposed them.
2 days without a Human Rights Violation!
If at first you don't succeed - try management.
It's only unethical if you get caught.
Never quit until you have another job.
If you can read this, you're not working!
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
Go the extra mile - It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
Pride, Commitment, Teamwork: words we use to get you to work for free.
Succeed in spite of management.
Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work
here anymore.
________________________
DDL
The dark pubic hair of young Sadie,
Is the longest you'll find on a lady.
You must guess at the angle,
When you push through that tangle,
But once there, the surroundings are shady.
__________________________
"Personal" ad in local paper:
Bruce M. Contact me soon! Bring three rings: Engagement, wedding and teething. Have
news. Debbie.
________________________
You're getting old when your wife gives up sex for lent, and you don't know until the fourth of
July!!
________________________
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress, but I repeat
myself."
-Mark Twain
________________________
Rotten News....
A pox on our name, says STD's mayor
[Wellington, April 12] - In much of the English-speaking world the letters STD stand for, well,
a sexually transmitted disease. But to a group of people living in a small community on the
west coast of New Zealand's North Island, they stand for something else.
The South Taranaki District's local mayor, Mary Bourke, is not happy with the coincidence.
She is asking voters to approve changing it to Taranaki South.
"It's now or never," she told a council meeting. "It's a new millennium and about creating an
image."
The council agreed to vote on the issue at its next meeting, but meanwhile voters are having
their say in a poll on the STD council's website and they seem pretty divided.
Although Bourke said more than 80 per cent of voters who clicked on in the first hour
favoured a name change, by Friday a tally showed 63 percent were quite happy with the
current name and its associated abbreviation, according to an Independent Radio News
bulletin.
[Sapa-DPA]
*******
Bum rap plea gets new twist
By Ryan Heffernan
November 29, 2002
A GOLD Coast man is claiming he has a constitutional right to "moon".
Lawyers acting for James Albert Ernest Togo, will claim in court today that as an indigenous
Australian Togo has a right to drop his pants and flash his buttocks at police as an expression
of free communication.
Togo will appear in the Coolangatta Magistrate's Court charged with behaving in an indecent
manner under the Queensland Vagrants, Gaming and Other Offences Act of 1931. He was
arrested on August 12 when he allegedly mooned police in Marine Pde, Coolangatta.
Togo's lawyer, Eugene O'Sullivan, will argue that recent constitutional rulings override the
dated Vagrants, Gaming and Other Offences Act. And in keeping with Commonwealth law,
Mr O'Sullivan has sent all attorneys-general, both state and federal, notice of his intention to
argue that mooning police should be categorised as a legitimate freedom of communication
under the Constitution.
The Courier-Mail
********
Toilet freak finally pinched over improper business
SAPPORO -- A man who made a habit of watching other men as they used a toilet at JR
Sapporo Station has finally been arrested after he grabbed hold of a young man and
professed his love, police said Wednesday.
Police had warned Tsutomu Fujii several times over the past two or three years about his
habit of watching men as they used the toilet.
But the 60-year-old inn employee from Sapporo appeared to have ignored them.
He finally went a step too far Tuesday, embracing a 19-year-old man who had just finished
urinating. Fujii, arrested for assault, admits to the allegations.
"He looked so lovely standing there after he had finished his wee that I simply couldn't resist
giving him a cuddle," the old man told the police.
Police said that Fujii embraced the young student as he washed his hands in a male toilet
near the north exit of the station on Tuesday morning. Fujii was apologetic in the wake of his
arrest. (Mainichi Shimbun, Aug. 28, 2002)