Daily Dose - 030107 - CRYPTIC PASSWORD, BIZARRE NEWS, stripping bricks, wrong
number, DDL, Rotten News
CRYPTIC PASSWORD
Many years ago I was acting as the system administrator for a test system in a large
publicly held company. Periodically I would receive a call from someone who had not
accessed the system recently, forgot their password and locked themselves out trying to
logon. I would look up their password and unlock the system for them and they would go
on their merry way.
One day I received a call from a young lady who was in just such a predicament. I looked
up her password and informed her that it was 'DOME' and, just to be playful, told her the
price for me being gracious enough to unlock her sign-on was an explanation of the
meaning of her password.
She became very embarrassed over the phone and pleaded that she could never reveal
her secret. I of course replied that I would not give her system access until she did. After
negotiating for several minutes she finally acquiesced but made me promise to never
reveal her password meaning to any of her colleagues to which I gladly agreed.
"Well, what does it mean?", I asked. She hesitated and then replied, "It's two words."
There was pregnant pause. I unlocked her system and simply said, "Have a nice day".
________________________
BIZARRE NEWS.........
No Extra Fat From This Skin
MANCHESTER, England - Tired of eating the same old whipped cream and chocolate
syrup off of naked bodies?
The Samsi Japanese restaurant in Manchester, England is offering its guests a delectable
Asian cuisine served on the bodies of two nude women.
Angel Tan, 22, and Kit-Ying Ross, 25, have volunteered to act as human tables for
"nyataimori" nights on Fridays at the restaurant.
The Japanese word translates as "adorned body of a woman."
Some dinner choices include lobster, smoked salmon sushi and garlic udon noodles. The
guests may only touch the women in appropriate ways with the chopsticks.
So bring your appetite... and your pants.
_____________________________
My husband Ronnie volunteered to strip the bricks from the exterior of my parents house.
One morning he was out front chipping away when a man came by looking for my father.
"He's not here," Ronnie said.
The man thanked him, watched him remove a few more bricks, and said, "I'll bet next time
they'll leave the key for you."
_____________________________
It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the
phone rang.
"Hello?"
A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?"
I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I
was bored.
"I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?"
"Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded.
"I think he said he'd be home around 10:00."
Silence on the other end... a confused silence.
"Is this Steve?"
My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number.
"Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?"
"Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him..." she said in a
slightly irritated voice.
I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back
at 10:00."
A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!"
"The girl he went out with."
"I know that! I mean... who is she?"
"I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?"
"Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home."
She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will.
Is this Jennifer?"
She exploded this time. "Who's Jennifer?"
Apparently she wasn't.
"Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an
honest mistake."
"Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's very
upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home."
I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... but Becky isn't going to like this..."
*Click*
______________________________
DDL
I chase all the girls when I'm spunky
A five day a week sexual junky
I tend not to stray
On Tues- or Wednesday
On those nights I spank my own monkey.
_______________________________
"Anheuser-Busch announced they are coming out with low-carb beer called "Ultra" which
is aimed at the diet-conscious beer drinker. Diet-conscious beer drinker...aren't those
called women?"
--Jay Leno
***
I don't buy temporary insanity as a murder defense. Because people kill people. That's
and animal instinct. I think breaking into someone's home and ironing all their clothes is
temporary insanity.
***
"The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I
replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'"
--Roy Blount Jr.
__________________________
Rotten News... (true)
Man killed while throwing rocks out a moving van
Saturday, August 31, 2002
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
VANCOUVER, Wash. -- A 23-year-old man, who was riding in a van and opening the slide
door to throw rocks at mailboxes and cars, fell out of the van and died.
John E. Reynolds died of head injuries at the scene early Thursday morning, said Sgt.
Craig Randall of the Clark County Sheriff's Office. He hit his head on the pavement.
"Ultimately, it's a tragedy of something stupid and juvenile," Randall said.
There were five people in the van. Throughout the night, Reynolds had hung out the
window or opened the door to get a better rock-throwing vantage from the van's middle
seat, investigators said.
"That's probably part of the reason they didn't perceive any threat," Randall said.
Neither Reynolds, nor the driver, Tara Broon, 24, of Vancouver, was using alcohol or
drugs, Randall said. The Ford minivan was traveling at between 30 and 40 miles per hour
in a 30 mph van, and it had not braked or turned quickly.
The accident is under investigation.
*******
Posted on Mon, Jun. 17, 2002
Man hoping pet venture won't be just bull
The Associated Press
ROCKWELL, Iowa - Dustin Pillard is betting his farm on he can sell pets.
However, what sounds like a safe bet could be a lot of bull to pet owners. Pillard is selling
compact cows.
He has 50 tiny cows on his northern Iowa farm, all about 3 feet tall. He's hoping they'll
catch on as pets, and so far inquiries have come in from as far as Europe, Mexico and
Argentina.
"I like them," said Pillard, 30. "If nobody else does, that doesn't really bother me. We're
breeding just for the novelty end of it."
The smallest full-grown animal is a 3-year-old bull that's 33 inches tall and weighs 320
pounds. The largest, a mature bull, is 35 inches tall and 400 pounds.
Pillard thinks interest for the cattle, which start at about $1,000, is growing. And the more
people know, the more interest he sees.
"If they saw a rodeo bull that was only three feet tall, I'd think they'd have to have one.
That's our hope, anyway."
*******
Penis punisher keeps the medics busy
January 22 2002 at 01:04PM
Taipei - One Taiwan man's tireless pursuit of quick thrills has landed him in hospital four
times in just one year, with doctors having to remove objects stuck inside his penis, local
Taiwanese media reported on Tuesday.
After learning from a videotape that inserting objects into body orifices might be an
exciting experience, the 30-year old truck driver on one occasion inserted fuse wire and
another time a ballpoint pen into his urinary tract, according to cable TV network ETTV.
Instead of pleasure, the man experienced severe pain and had to have the objects
removed in Kaohsiung Veterans General Hospital, said the report.
Undeterred, the main tried the same experiment two more times, but all ended with a trip
to the hospital.
The man wasn't alone in his pleasure pursuit.
In a separate incident, a 20-year-old unmarried man had to be treated after he had forced
a small steel ring onto his penis.
- Sapa-DPA