Daily Dose - 020528 - men's figure skating, Rotten News, insane asylum, seat belt, DDL, Hey Martha
It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian competitor, he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull costume, performs some excellent leaps but without any great artistic feel for the music.
The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.9: United States 5.5: Ireland 6.0
Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and stripes costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He gets the crowd clapping, but is not technically as good as the Russian. He slightly misses landing a triple Salchow and loses the center during a spin. But, artistically, it is a more satisfying performance.
The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.5: United States 5.9: Ireland 6.0
Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old donkey jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies. He reaches the ice, trips straight away and bangs his nose which starts bleeding. He tries to get up, staggers a few paces then slips again. He spends his entire 'routine' getting up then falling over again. Finally he crawls off the ice a tattered and bleeding mess.
The Judges' scores read: Britain 0.0: Russia 0.0: United States 0.0: Ireland 6.0
The other 3 judges turn to the Irish judge and demand in unison, "How the hell can you give that mess 6.0?!"
To which the Irish judge replies, "You've gotta remember, it's damn slippery out there."
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Rotten News... (true)
Firewalk accident leaves fast food bosses working for Colonel Cinders
Flame-grilled ... the sore feet.
By Les Kennedy
It was meant to build confidence, but 30 managers of the KFC fast food restaurant were left nursing sore feet after a firewalk did not go as planned.
Twenty people were taken to Hunter Valley hospitals, seven with deep burns to their feet and 13 with less serious injuries, after the bonding exercise went wrong. Ten others were treated by the 11 ambulance crews called to scene just after 2pm.
Among those taken to hospital was KFC's Australian chief, Roger Eaton..
The accident took place on the last day of a motivational conference for 180 NSW KFC bosses at the Horizons golf resort at Salamander Bay, Port Stephens.
The firewalking exercise, which is undertaken by many companies, was one of the last of the program, and was supposed to build confidence in the managers. It was voluntary.
Angus Armstrong, a legal spokesman for Tricon Restaurant Australia, which runs the KFC franchise in Australia, said last night that the firm regarded the safety of its staff above all, and was at a loss to explain what went wrong.
Both Tricon and WorkCover have begun investigations into the incident.
Mr Armstrong said an independent company conducted the firewalking exercise and KFC had used it twice before without incident.
He said the seven people taken to John Hunter Hospital, among them Mr Eaton, were initially feared to have serious burns, but their burns had been found not to be so severe.
"We have been told that they will be released overnight. We are very pleased to hear that they are not as severe," he said.
Mr Armstrong said it was "totally unacceptable" that anyone should get hurt, adding that Tricon Restaurants "will be reviewing the types of exercises" it conducts at future conferences.
Horizons' marketing manager, Lisa Taylor, declined yesterday to name the company which organised the fire-walking activity.
She said the resort hosted various corporate groups for motivational seminars but Horizon had nothing to do with the programs.
"[It was] a private company taking part in a motivational team-building exercise run by a professional third party," she said.
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From: News and Views | City Beat |
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
Jetliner Lust Attracts F-16s
By JOHN MARZULLI and BILL HUTCHINSON
Daily News Staff Writers
A randy, drug-fueled romp in a New York-bound jet's rest room sparked a midair terror scare that sent a pair of F-16 fighter jets scrambling, authorities revealed yesterday.
But the red alert aboard American Airlines Flight 101 from London on Friday gave way to red faces when authorities discovered all the fuss was over two amorous British men.
Police said the passengers, whose names were not released, admitted smoking crack cocaine and having sex in the cramped rest room.
The miles-high ordeal began about 8:15 a.m. Friday on the London-to-New York flight, said an American Airlines spokeswoman.
Flight attendants complained to the pilot that the two men were acting suspiciously, making four or five trips to the rest room together.
"A captain had requested that the local authorities meet the two passengers at the gate at Kennedy," said airline spokeswoman Sonja Whitemon.
Air Force Listens In
Air Force officials overheard the captain's radio dispatch to American Airlines operations and sent two F-16s to intercept the jetliner over the Atlantic Ocean, said Federal Aviation Administration officials.
Whitemon insisted the airplane's crew did not ask for the military escort.
"The captain requested that that not happen because he didn't believe the situation was that serious, but it happened anyway," Whitemon said.
The two passengers were asleep when the plane touched down at JFK and were escorted off by Port Authority, Customs and FAA agents.
No drugs were found on the men, who were not charged with any crimes. Immigration officials denied them entry into the country because they admitted smoking crack in the rest room, law enforcement officials said.
The men were put back on a plane bound for London later Friday, officials said.
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This weekend I got an emergency phone call from my daughter, Spud. After I hung up, I grabbed the yellow pages, found the number I wanted, and called straight away.
April asked, "Who are you calling?"
"The insane asylum."
"What? The insane asylum? Why?"
"Someone escaped from there."
"How do you know?"
"Because someone took my ex-wife on a date."
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A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.
After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"
"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.
"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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DDL
I hear they have started a test run
On Liquid Viagra. When all done,
A fella will say,
At the end of the day:
"Hey, Baby, go pour me a stiff one."
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"If California can't solve the energy crisis, it will spread to the rest of the nation, and the economy will collapse, and we will become a primitive society where we all run around naked with spears and refuse to attend meetings. Wouldn't that be GREAT?"
--Dave Barry
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"I don't know why a woman would be ticked off if you gave her a 56-piece socket-wrench set with a 72-tooth reversible ratchet, but thrilled if you give her a tiny, very expensive vial of liquid with a name like 'L'essence de Nooquie Eau de Parfum de Cologne de Toilette,' which, to the naked male nostril, does not smell any better than a stick of Juicy Fruit. All I'm saying is that this is the kind of thing women want."
--Dave Barry
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When an express train to London made an unscheduled stop at Reading, the philosopher, C.E.M. Joad, climbed aboard.
"You've got to get off sir," the conductor told him, "this train doesn't stop here." Replied Joad, "In that case, don't worry, I'm not on it.'
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Hey Martha (true)
Tuesday, July 17, 2001
Misspelled tattoo costs $7,000
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. (AP) -- A tattoo artist's misspelling will cost him $7,000.
That's how much Joseph Beahm settled for in his lawsuit over a misspelled tattoo on his right shoulder. The settlement came Monday just as a trial was to begin.
Beahm said he underwent 13 laser surgeries to remove the flawed tattoo of a knife stabbing into a man's back, with the words "Why Not, Everyone Elese Does." Else is spelled with an extra "e."
Beahm had asked Body Art World of Seaside Heights to pay for the removal but the company refused, saying Beahm had seen a rendering of the tattoo before it was done in 1999 and didn't find anything wrong with it then. Beahm sued the shop for $20,000 last year.
Gene Menges, owner of Body Art World, was not at the shop Monday, a person who answered the phone said. The person refused comment on the case.
Beahm has about six other tattoos, including one of a man's face on the back of his head. He says he is ready to get the correctly spelled words put back on.
"I want the words back there. That one had meaning behind it," Beahm said. "It means people stab you in the back, including tattoo parlors."