Daily Dose - 020522 - worst dream, Rotten News, mechanic, Dead Cat Test, DDL, Hey Martha

Andy said, "Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row."

The psychiatrist replied, "Hold it, Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible."

"Oh yeah?" said Andy, "In the dream, I was the third girl from the end."

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Rotten News.... (true)

April 12, 2001

Worm Pulled From Woman's Brain

It sounds like a warning against prostitutes, but beware of Mexican pork tacos.

While vacationing three years ago, American tourist Dawn Becerra consumed one and ended up on the other side of the food chain. A three-week post-taco illness was only the beginning of her problems, as she soon began sufferring seizures. Mayo Clinic doctors, who found the worm, informed Becerra that a seizure-free life would require brain surgery.

Becerra ultimately decided to undergo the six-hour procedure, during which she had to be awake so doctors could talk to her and keep track of her progress. Physicians were able to remove the worm, which had died and damaged a portion of Becerra's own brain tissue. Doctors say she's doing fine and will suffer no permanent damage beyond immortalization on this website.

(ABC News)

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Early puberty linked to shampoos

19:00 03 April 02

Exclusive from New Scientist Print Edition

Unbeknown to many parents, a few hair products - especially some marketed to black people - contain small amounts of hormones that could cause premature sexual development in girls.

The evidence that hair products containing oestrogens cause premature puberty is largely circumstantial, and the case is still unproven. But Ella Toombs, acting director for the Office of Cosmetics and Colors at the US Food and Drug Administration, told New Scientist: "No amount [of oestrogen] is considered safe and can be included in an over-the-counter product."

Under FDA regulations, over-the-counter products containing hormones are drugs, and thus require specific approval. However, there appears to be a grey area regarding products marketed before 1994. The FDA failed to respond to a request to clarify the position. At least five companies are still making hormone-containing hair products, a source within the industry - who preferred not to be named - told New Scientist.

Throughout the West, girls are tending to reach puberty earlier. This has been blamed on everything from improved diet to environmental contaminants. But African-American girls are developing even earlier than their white counterparts. About half of black girls in the US begin developing breasts or pubic hair by age eight, compared with just 15 per cent of white girls, one study has found. In Africa, girls enter puberty much later, regardless of their socioeconomic status.

"Placenta, hormones or estrogen"

That big discrepancy may be explained, at least in part, by the more frequent use of hormone-containing hair products among African Americans, says Chandra Tiwary, former chief of paediatric endocrinology at Brooke Army Medical Center in Texas. "I believe that the frequency of sexual precocity can be reduced simply if children do not use those hair products," he says.

The products are sold as shampoos or treatments to deep-condition dry, brittle hair. The labels usually state that they contain placenta, hormones or "estrogen", although not all products that make such claims contain active hormones. While New Scientist's inquiries suggest such products are no longer sold in Europe, many are still available worldwide over the Internet.

And they remain popular among African Americans. A small study published earlier this year by Su-Ting Li of the Child Health Institute in Seattle suggests that nearly half of African-American parents use such products, and that most also use them on their children.

For other ethnic groups the figure is under 10 per cent. Tiwary told New Scientist that he has carried out a bigger, as yet unpublished, survey of 2000 households that confirms these findings.

In 1998 Tiwary, now retired, published a study of four girls - including a 14-month-old - who developed breasts or pubic hair months after beginning to use such products. The symptoms started to disappear when they stopped using them.

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Be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under your vehicle, especially in public.

From the Sydney Morning Herald Australia comes this story of a central west couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.

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The Dead Cat Test

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.

"Dead." She was informed.

"How do you know?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in his ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

"You did WHAT?!?" the teacher squealed in surprise.

"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'pssst' and he didn't move."

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Really Dirty DDL

Says a busy young whore named Miss Randalls,
As men by the dozens she handles,
"When I get this busy
My cunt gets all jizzy,
And it runs down my legs like wax candles."

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The Ajax man, the Maytag man and Mr. Clean are all bachelors.

And that, my friends, is proof that women prefer men who talk dirty!

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I got a set of golf clubs for my wife, and I must say: "It was a damn good trade!"

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"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.... Unless there are three other people with me."

-- Orson Welles

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Hey Martha (true)

Wednesday, August 22, 2001

Cops confused by movie props

ST. LOUIS (AP) -- A would-be horror story turned into a comedy for police after they found a torso in a trash can.

A dark red trail led them to Eric Stanze's back door. When the 29-year-old man let them inside Saturday, they found a home full of decapitated heads, disemboweled corpses and other mutilated body parts.

Serial killer? Not quite.

The body parts were all movie props made of plastic or papier-mache and covered with bogus blood by Stanze, a director and producer of independent horror videos.

So fooled by Stanze's handiwork, the police called in the medical examiner to investigate the scene just to be sure.

"I went around back, and there were flies buzzing around the Dumpster," Stanze said. "I could see how the cops could mistake it for a real crime scene."

By the medical examiner pulled on her latex gloves to examine the counterfeit corpse, the police were joking about it, Stanze said. "But not the medical examiner. She never cracked a smile or said a word. She just glared at me and then left -- to cover a real crime, I guess," he said.