Daily Dose - 020423 - Wal-Mart, Rotten News, Something Nice, outlying province of Texas, DDL, Hey Martha

Wal-Mart......

PLANT CITY, FL (AP) - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item --Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., to produce the spirits at an affordable price; in the $6-8 range.

While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I., "There is wine in a box that people are willing to buy," she said. "The right name is important"

The top 15 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:

15. Box O' Grapes
14. Chateau Traileur Doublewide
13. White Trashfindel
12. Big Red Gulp
11. Grape Expectations
10. Domaine Wal-Mart "Merde du Pays"
9. NASCARbernet
8. Chef Boyardeaux
7. Peanut Noir
6. Blue Light Special Nun
5. Chateau des Moines
4. Martha Stewart's Sour Grapes
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. World Championship Wriesling

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine...

1. Nasti Spumante

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Rotten News... (true)

The KKK claims discrimination

KKK claims bias keeps its name from project

Bricks at Heritage Center in Clark won’t carry name of group

By Shawn Ankrom
Cox News Service

SPRINGFIELD | The Ku Klux Klan is claiming discrimination because bricks bearing its name won't line the way to the Heritage Center of Clark County.

Local masonry manufacturer and supplier Bryce Hill, Inc., won't engrave the bricks with the KKK name, bricks intended to be displayed alongside more than 1,200 others purchased by residents to raise money for the center. People can buy a brick engraved with their name or the name of a loved one for $100.

The Klan requested the first brick in August when a man walked in and filled out a form requesting the inscription "Mystic Knights of the Ku Klux Klan," said Roger Sherrock, Heritage Center operations director. He paid cash, Sherrock said, and walked out without leaving an address or phone number.

"When I realized what we had, I thought, ‘Let's make sure we're doing the right thing here,’ " Sherrock said. "No brick goes down until that (confirmation) form comes back."

Sherrock discussed the request with attorneys, then rejected the brick order. So, the KKK ordered 100 bricks directly through Bryce Hill, which has been doing the work for the museum. But Bryce Hill didn't fill the order either.

Bryce Hill manager Kent Sherry wouldn't comment on the order. The company's owner could not be reached Friday for comment.

Doug R. Walker, imperial wizard of the Dayton-based Mystic Knights of the KKK, filed a complaint this month to the Ohio Civil Rights Commission. It claimed, in part, that the Klan placed an order with Bryce Hill, which did make one brick.

"We were then told that they could not make anymore (sic) bricks for our order because we were the Ku Klux Klan!" the letter states. "They returned our check with a letter stating that they have decided not to except (sic) our business! We feel that this is nothing but discrimination against a legal White Christian fraternity!"

G. Michael Payton, executive director of the Ohio Civil Rights Commission, said the commission would not take up the Klan's cause because the Ohio Civil Rights Act does not prohibit discrimination by private entities because of political or societal beliefs.

"A fair interpretation of (Bryce Hill's) refusal indicated that service was not provided to the KKK because of its political/societal beliefs," Payton wrote to Walker. "We presume the KKK still advocates hatred against minorities and Jews, among other things."

Payton, who is black, was taken aback by Walker's letter.

"If there is anything good about this story, it's Bryce Hill," he said. "Sometimes we have to have principles. Bryce Hill is the hero here. That's an honorable thing for them to do. That reflects well on the Springfield community."

This isn't the first time the Heritage Center has dealt with KKK controversy. A historical display prepared for the museum's opening in March 2001 contained a reference to the Klan and racial tension in Springfield. That display, including a mannequin in a Klan robe, was changed after museum supporters complained it was too graphic.

"Obviously, we don't want to be associated with groups like (the Ku Klux Klan)," said Bill Swaim, Clark County Historical Society board president and publisher of the Springfield News-Sun. “To think of them being memorialized with a brick . . . no, we're not interested."

Sherrock just wants to return the $100 to the man who made the original request. But the man can't be reached at phone numbers he left for return calls.

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Marketing, as good as it gets:

News item: Detroit named the "Greatest City on the Earth" in the current issue of Maxim magazine while dismissing the 12 runner ups with scathing comments.

News item: Philadelphia named the "Greatest City on the Earth" in the current issue of Maxim magazine while dismissing the 12 runner ups with scathing comments.

News item: San Francisco named the "Greatest City on the Earth" in the current issue of Maxim magazine while dismissing the 12 runner ups with scathing comments.

News item: Ten other U.S. cities named the "Greatest City on the Earth" in the current issue of Maxim magazine while dismissing the 12 runner ups with scathing comments.

Bonehead award two goes to Maxim, a men's lifestyle magazine, for deep sixing their credibility by coming out with 13 different versions of their magazine, with each set declaring a different city as the best in the world, while insulting the twelve runner-ups, and then distributing each set to a region nearest the winning city. Except for the New York City version that is, which was mistakenly sent to Philadelphia where Philly residents got to see themselves described as "a lard ass with arteries packed as tight as a Colombian airline passenger's G.I. tract," and their city described as "a glorified piss break between New York and D.C."

When the Detroit Free Press, noticing that they were the best city on earth, asked the publisher if other cities were involved, the publisher flat-out lied, saying there wasn't and that "everything we said about Detroit, we meant." Which is unfortunate because in other versions of the magazine they wrote that Detroit is a "dismal wasteland of abandoned warehouses and Kid Rock wannabes," and continued that the best thing they can say about Detroit is that it's "not quite Canada."

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Something Nice

Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill."

Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.

Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on.

"Well," said the other brother, "You said to do something nice for Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo."

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When I attended a convention once of oil men, the first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on about crap for a good half hour and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. The Texas man said, "Oklahoma, an outlying province of Texas."

The second speaker said, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight, there ain't NO state that can out-lie Texas."

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DDL

There was a young fellow named Sweeney,
Whose girl was a terrible meanie.
The hatch of her snatch,
Had a catch that would latch,
She could only be screwed by Houdini

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"Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself."
- Peter da Silva

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"I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind."
- Steve Allen

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"With our first child, I must admit I wasn't prepared for the sticker shock. My wife did all the work, but the hospital still charged us $5,000. I couldn't afford that, so we had to put our daughter on layaway."
- Robert G. Lee

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Hey Martha (true)

Wednesday, February 13, 2002

Spelling errors dominate education fight

MADRID, Spain (AP) -- The government couldn't help but chuckle last week when students opposed to reforms aimed at raising education standards released a flier calling for demonstrations with a glaring spelling mistake.

Now it's the government's turn to blush.

A letter written in Catalan, signed by Environment Minister Jaume Matas and sent to tens of thousands of homes in northeastern Spain, contained 13 spelling errors and two geographical errors.

The letter defends a controversial hydrological project in which water is to be diverted from the Ebro River, which flows through the Aragon and Catalonia regions, to the Mediterranean coast.

Education and Culture Minister Pilar del Castillo, the architect of the education overhaul, reacted to the flier by saying, "Students who call demonstrations are the ones who get the worst grades." She has said repeatedly in recent days that Spain's schools are churning out uneducated young people.

Responding to minister Matas' multiple slip-ups, a Socialist Party leader in Catalonia, Jaume Antich, said: "Are you trying to prove Pilar del Castillo right when she talks about low cultural levels? In view of this letter, I don't know if you'd pass the exam she wants to reinstate."