Daily Dose - 020310 - rude church members, BIZARRE NEWS, True Stories, DDL, Hey Martha
Two church members were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces.
To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open.
She tried again, really put her back into the job, and slammed the door again.
Same results. The door bounced back like it was made of Silly Putty.
Convinced one of these rude church members was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would teach them a lesson.
Just then, one of the church members said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."
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BIZARRE NEWS....
Bizarre Holidays
JANUARY
January is... National Fiber Focus Month
January 1 is... First Foot Day
January 2 is... Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes Day
January 8 is... National JoyGerm Day and Man Watcher's Day
January 10 is... Peculiar People Day
January 11 is... National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day
January 12 is... Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day
January 22 is... National Answer Your Cat's Question Day
January 23 is... Measure Your Feet Day
January 24 is... Eskimo Pie Patent Day
January 27 is... Thomas Crapper Day
January 28 is... Kazoo Day and Rattle Snake Round-Up Day
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Pilotless Plane Takes Off and Disappears
SAN RAFAEL, California - Amateur pilot Paul Clary was working on his plane, the "1946 Aeronca Champion" when it broke free from its blocks. With the throttle up, the plane taxied down the runway and took off without anyone at the controls.
He described the incident as a "nightmare." He was trying to drain a flooded engine when he turned the propeller and the engine started. He and his son chased the plane in a van for almost 10 minutes until they lost sight of it.
Emergency broadcasts alerted local radio of the potential danger, and a helicopter was sent to locate the plane. Authorities estimate that the plane crashed because it only had two hours worth of fuel.
The helicopter ceased it's mission after a four-hour search. Walt Smith, regional coordinator for the Federal Aviation Administration said, "This will be in the aviation history books. It's pretty wild. We thought we'd heard everything."
So did we.
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Bizarre Survival Story
GHENT, Belgium - A motorcyclist was minding his own business, waiting at a crossroads, when a Mercedes in front of him was struck by another car, causing it to back up and run over him.
Though the car temporarily rested on his chest, the driver hurriedly restarted the car and pulled off of the victim.
Renaud Ghequiere described the tale he is fortunate enough to live to tell: "I felt an enormous pressure on my chest. I managed to move slightly but felt all the oxygen was pressed out of my lungs. My head was just in front of the wheel."
Had the car moved ever so slightly, Ghequiere might have been killed. His ribs and heart were bruised, but he is reportedly doing well.
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Naked Man Reaches Driving Goal
IOWA - December 17, 2001, was a historic day. Naturist Dave Wolz notified the Des Moines Iowa Register that he had officially driven 15,000 in the nude.
In his letter he stated, "On Monday, December 17, 2001, at about 9:50 am, just north of mile marker 98 on Interstate 39 in Illinois, I reached my goal of 15,000 miles driving naked."
Several motorists noticed his nudity and called the police, but Wolz put on shorts before an officer pulled him over.
He continually makes road trips, usually for chess tournaments, but his car broke down in September while he was driving nude. He was only at 12,300 miles at the time.
But, in October, he diligently drove to reach his goal through a whirlwind trip to Missouri and Ohio.
His New Year's resolution is to drive 20,000 miles naked in 2002.
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Road Rage on a Whole New Level
BOLOGNA, Italy - On the notorious "road rage row" in Italy, a cyclist accidentally scratched a motorist's car as he biked past him. The two reportedly began trading insults and continued sparring after stopping their vehicles.
This is when the verbal taunts allegedly turned into physical abuse. The 61-year-old driver supposedly bit the cyclist's left hand so severely that his finger came off.
Police escorted the two to the hospital where doctors determined they couldn't reattach the finger because of the damage.
Well, that will teach the cyclist to be more careful.
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Massachusetts Woman Meets the Spiders from Mars
Nancy Talbott is in search of spiders from Mars.
The whole thing started last year on a cool September night. Nancy woke up to a loud droning noise that completely surrounded her remote Massachusetts home. The phenomenon lasted about an hour, and although she went outside to investigate the pitch dark kept her from seeing anything.
The next morning her entire property was covered in thousands of what she described as little gooey spider webs. They were everywhere covering the house, lawn, trees and fences.
She sent a sample to a local lab which told her they did not know what the substance was, but it was not spider webs.
Is it the exhaust of an experimental aircraft? Is it a new type of air pollution? Is it the aftermath of a close encounter?
She is still searching for answers, so if any of this sounds familiar Nancy would love to hear from you.
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Yet another in our continuing tradition of True Stories.
Reuters is reporting that Spanish soccer player Francisco Gallardo has been charged by the Spanish soccer association for biting team mate Jose Antonio Reyes after Reyes had scored.
Gallardo bit Reyes on the penis.
Seems high spirited Gallardo was ecstatic over Reyes' goal and bent down to take a nibble of Reyes' genitalia.
The rulebook says it's a violation of "sporting dignity and decorum."
Reyes said, "I felt a bit of a pinch but I didn't realize what he had done until I saw the video."
But that's not the worst of it. "It's the teasing I'm going to get from my team mates."
Check out the picture:
http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/1129soccer29-ON.html
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DDL
There was a young virgin named Lynn
Who thought getting fucked was a sin.
At least, that's the ruse
She attempted to use,
Only moments before giving in.
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"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
-Jim Bishop
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"My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years."
-Paul Merton
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"I won't say our school was tough, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like: What I'm going to be if I grow up."
-Lenny Bruce
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Hey Martha (true)
Tuesday, January 22, 2002
Florida woman uses taxi for nation wide trip
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) -- Patricia Agness wanted to see the nation. So she hopped into a cab.
Agness dialed up her neighborhood taxi company, negotiated a fare and embarked on a 10,000-mile cross-continent cab ride.
That was last week, and the meter is still running.
"The land is fascinating," Agness said Friday, speaking to the Florida Times-Union in Jacksonville from a cell phone as her white-and-orange Gator City Taxi cab cruised through San Antonio, Texas.
Agness, 55, said she doesn't like to fly, doesn't like buses and doesn't have a driver's license. "I needed to get away, and this is the best way to see the open road," she said.
The ride will take Agness and taxi drivers Joe Gattuso and Safdar Hussein on a round-trip journey that reaches as far as Juneau, Alaska.
Gattuso and Agness negotiated a rate of $1 a mile, a discount over the cab company's usual $1.65 a mile rate.
The drivers planned to take eight-hour turns behind the wheel and allow for minimum stops and no overnight stays. They hope to make it to Alaska by midweek.