Daily Dose - 000322 - Buy A Mac, Going Hunting, atheist, could hit her, best friend Sam, DDL, Hey Martha

Buy A Mac

I was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac. I was against it and an argument started. I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.

He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"

And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."

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Going Hunting

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him.

"Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'"

"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.

"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'"

__________________

An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; and Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays. EVERY religions has its holidays. But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized national holidays. It's an unfair discrimination."

His friend replied, "Well... Why don't you celebrate April first?"

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A young guy was complaining to his Boss about the problems he was having with his stubborn girlfriend. She gets me so angry sometimes I could hit her, the young man exclaimed.

Well, I'll tell you what I used to do with my wife, replied the Boss. Whenever she got out of hand I'd take her pants down and spank her.

Shaking his head the young guy replied, that doesn't work. Once I get her pants down I'm not mad anymore.

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Morris a 63 year old , comes home from the office early. He enters his bedroom, and sees his best friend Sam, on top of his nude 62 year old wife.

Morris, shaking his head, says,..."Sam, I have to, BUT YOU ? "

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DDL

The night was almost gone,
As I opened my eyes with a yawn.
I was quite amazed
With her thighs on my face,
I was seeing the crack of Dawn.

There once was a boy named Kevin
Who used a vacuum to stretch it to seven,
Then eight and then nine,
And though ten was divine,
There will be film at eleven.

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My attention isn't hard to get. It IS hard to keep...

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Being healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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Life is a series of very rude awakenings.

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The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody will be able to appreciate how difficult it was.

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Hey Martha (true)

Tuesday, February 8, 2000

Check out this proposal

OSLO, Norway (AP) -- Frode Jonassen was checking out the produce counter at a crowded grocery story when he received an offer over the public address system he just couldn't refuse.

"I love you and want to marry you," the voice of his girlfriend, Tone Soerensen, blared over the tinny loudspeakers. "You have 10 seconds to decide."

Friends, family suddenly appeared and joined with amused customers in counting down from 10.

Stunned, the 30-year-old Jonassen managed to blurt out a "yes" just before the clock ran out, the Oslo newspaper Verdens Gang reported Tuesday.

The two were shopping Saturday in Stavanger, about 300 kilometres west of Oslo, when Soerensen, 32, disappeared into a back room. Her boyfriend didn't find that strange, since she works at the grocery store.

"But I was caught totally off guard when I heard Tone on the loudspeakers," Jonassen said.

The wedding is set for Aug. 26.