Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated." The doctor says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation."

Fred replies, "Doc, I just want to be castrated and I'm a little embarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it?" The doctor says, "Well, okay, I guess I could make this one exception. I don't understand it, but alright."

He puts Fred to sleep, does the operation and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up.

"Well, Doc, how'd it go?" Fred asks.

"It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my..."

"Circumcised!" yells Fred. "That's the word!"

_______________________________

A couple of drinking buddies, who were airplane mechanics, were in the hanger at Mascot in Sydney. It was fogged in and they had nothing to do.

One said to the other, "Man, have you got anything to drink?"

"Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel and that'll kinda give you a buzz."

So, Bill and Bob drank jet fuel, get smashed and had a great time.

The following morning, Bill woke up and figured his head would probably start pounding as soon as he stood up. But it didn't. He felt good. In fact, he felt great - no hangover!

Bill's phone rang, it was Bob. Bob asked, "Hey, how do you feel?"

"I feel great!" replied Bill.

"I feel great too! You don't have a hangover?"

"No. That jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover. We ought to do this more often!"

"Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing..."

"What's that?"

"Did you fart yet?"

"What?"

"Did you fart yet?"

"No..."

"Well, don't, because I'm in Melbourne!"

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A new teacher was trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up."

After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am," he said, "but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."