A field engineer, a service assistant, and a manager are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.

The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the field engineer.

"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless."

Poof! He's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the service assistant. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other."

Poof! He's gone.

"You're next," the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, "I want those guys back in the office after lunch."

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The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were short-tempered. They not only expected you to know your parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So, it was with some amusement that we (PanAm 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (Speedbird).

Speedbird: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."

Ground: "Guten morgan. Taxi to your gate." The BA 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird: "Standby ground, I'm looking up the gate location now."

Ground (with typical German impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you never been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird (cooly): "Yes, in 1944, but I didn't stop.

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On preparing to return home from an out of town trip, a man got a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having time to get the paperwork to take the puppy on board, the man just hid the pup down the front of his pants and snuck him on board the airplane.

About 30 minutes into the trip, a stewardess noticed the man shaking and quivering. "Are you okay, sir?" asked the stewardess "Yes, I'm fine," said the man.

Later, the stewardess noticed the man moaning and shaking again. "Are you sure you're alright sir?" "Yes," said the man, "but I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down the front of my pants."

"What's wrong?" asked the stewardess. "Is he not housebroken?"

"No, that's not the problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!"