A gentleman from Europe was visiting a small town in central Texas and stopped to eat at the local cafe. While reading the menu, he noticed a couple of items that were unfamiliar. He called the waitress and asked her to explain "calf-fries and lamb-fries".

"The calf-fries are the male parts of a calf and the lamb-fries are the male parts of a sheep," she answered. "They are called 'fries' so that the ladies will not be offended."

About that time, a huge Texan sauntered in, took a seat and yelled out, "Bring me a cheeseburger and a double order of French Fries".

The Frenchman knocked over a table, three chairs and the pie-case before he created a new backdoor. He has not been seen in that town again.

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A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American. "Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills and blue after we pay them."

The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!"

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The Heads of the four armed services were sitting around bragging about which group had more guts. They decided to put it to a test.

First, they went into the field where Army tank crews were in training. The Army General got on the radio and told one of the Privates to jump under a moving tank. He did and he died. The General said, "Now that guy had guts."

The Air Force General insisted that was nonsense, so they went to where pilots were doing bombing target tests. The General got on the radio and directed one of the pilots to crash his plane. He did and he died. The Air Force General said, "Now that guy had guts."

The Marine General claimed that was foolish. So, next they all went to a Marine shooting range. He directed one of the Marines to jump in front of one of the targets. He got shot and died. The Marine General said, "Now that guy had guts."

Finally, the Navy Admiral said that they hadn't seen anything yet. They went to a carrier that was in port and a sailor was at the top of the mast working on the radar systems. The Admiral shouted up for the sailor to jump.

Shocked the sailor said, "What?" The Admiral repeated himself. Flipping the bird, the sailor shouted back, "Screw you!"

"See? Now that guy has guts!" replied the smug Admiral.