A little boy is sitting on a curb with a can of turpentine next to him. A priest walks up to him, holding a small vial of holy water.

The priest says, "This is the most powerful liquid on earth, son. If you rub this on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a boy."

The boy picks up his can of turpentine and replies, "That's NOTHING! If you rub THIS on a cat's ass, it will pass a motorcycle!"

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A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are each given 50 bucks to measure the height of a building.

The mathematician buys a ruler and a sextant, and by determining the angle subtended by the building a certain distance away from the base, he establishes the height of the building.

The physicist buys a heavy ball and a stopwatch, climbs to the top of the building and drops the ball. By measuring the time it takes to hit the bottom, he establishes the height of the building.

The engineer puts forty bucks into his pocket. By slipping the doorman the other ten, he establishes the height of the building.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"