Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right. Mrs. Claus had burned all the
cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had while making the toys.
The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the
sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree.

Santa was furious. "I can't believe it! I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours -
all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree!

I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn't even back yet! What am I going to do?"

Just then, the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas
tree. He says "Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?" And thus the tradition of angels
atop the Christmas trees came to pass........

Three men were flying in a plane. One dropped out an apple the other dropped an orange and the other dropped a granade.

Then they got to land and were walking down the street and saw a kid crying. They asked him why he was crying and he said "an apple hit me in the head". Then they saw another kid crying he said "an orange hit me in the head". Then they saw a kid laughing his head off and they asked him what was so funny he said "I farted and my house blew up!"