An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking
a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a
time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here
in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank
together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks
them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief,
but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he, says,
"everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each
one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo,
manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I
love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to
the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to
the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you
so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and decided to marry the one
with the biggest breasts.