Bad Day

A fellow went to work one day and was met at the door by his boss. "You're fired, and there may be a summons
for your arrest out of this!" the boss exclaimed. The fellow then started to drive home when the steering went out
on his car and he ran into a carload of nuns. After the policeman let him go with the collection of tickets, he
called his insurance company, only to find out that his wife forgot to send in the premium payment and that his
insurance ran out last week. On his way home, he stopped into the bank to get some money and found out that
his wife had been there earlier with his best friend and emptied the accounts. After leaving the bank, he was on
his way home and saw the fire engines heading down his street. Upon arriving at his house, he discovered that
it was indeed his house on fire. The fire chief was sure that it was going to be a total loss. Again, calling the
insurance company, he found that the homeowner's insurance also had been canceled.

By now the fellow was somewhat depressed and went into the local bar. As he was telling his troubles to the
bartender the bartender said, "You've got the chance of a lifetime. All your obligations are gone and you can
start all over. Why don't you take this bucket, go up to Huckleberry Hill, pick huckleberries, and go door to door
selling them." Well, this sounded O. K.. to the fellow, so off he went. After picking most of the day he finally had
enough berries to sell. At the first house he stopped at the woman said that she would indeed take all his
huckleberries but would he mind coming around to the back door. As the fellow got to the back door the woman
opened it and was totally nude. (And not hard on the eyes.) The fellow just broke down and was weeping
hysterically. The woman was quite beside herself and asked what the problem was. The fellow answered "I've
lost my job, my car is ruined, my wife ran off with my best friend taking all my money, my house burned down, all
my insurance has been canceled, and now... You're going to screw me out of my huckleberries."

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Englishman on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man."

When the Englishman remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."