Paddy was working in a home for the blind when one day he decided he was gonna go to the country side and visit a ladyfriend of his. Just as luck would have it 3 of the blind people he looked after begged him to take them with for the ride, just to get out to the country and breath the crisp, fresh air. All attempts to dissuade them were fruitless when Paddy came up with a plan to keep them busy while he was inside with the ladyfriend.

Anyway, so off they went and after a long drive finally arrived at the cottage where upon they were greeted by Paddy's friend. Before going inside he gave his three blind friends a soccer ball with a bell inside so that they could play a bit of kick-the-ball while he was busy. Paddy, sure that this would keep them out of any trouble left them and went inside. About two hours later Paddy decided to check on his friends and wondered outside. To his absolute horror there were his three blind friends being loaded into the back of a police van,handcuffs and all. Paddy rushed to his car and followed the van to the Police station. Absolutely dumbfounded as to what his blind friends could have done that would warrant them being arrested, he questioned the arresting officer.

"Well sir, its and open and shut case. Those three gentleman kicked the ice - cream man to death!"

A man and a woman are driving home from a date. The man stops the car, and the woman says: "Oh no, you aren't going to pull the "out of gas" routine!"

The man says, "No, it's the "hereafter" routine. If you're not here after what I'm here after, then you're going to be here after I'm gone."