The lecturer had just finished giving his in depth speech on sex and now wanted to take down some statistics
from the 100 strong male audience regarding their sex-lives.

He started off by asking:

"Which of the members of this audience enjoy regular sex at least once daily?"

50 men stood up proudly. Following on from this he then enquired:

"How many of you have sex only once a week?"

Another 30 men stand up rather sheepishly. The lecturer then asked:

"Which of you only have sex once every month?"

10 men after a pause of about 2 minutes shamefacedly stand up. After a brief pause the lecturer then asks:

"Are there any of you who have sex only once every 6 months?"

9 incredibly embarassed men weeping from the shame stood up.

The lecturer was astonished to find that there was still one individual who had not been accounted for. So he
questioned in disbelief:

"Are there any of you who only have sex once a year!?"

To which the remaining man leapt up ecstatically with a smile ear to ear and cried "Me, me, me ,me, I only have
sex once a year!"

The lecturer confused at why he was so happy asked him:

"I'm sorry I don't understand why you are so happy. For christ's sake you only get sex once a year!"

To which the man replied:

"Yeah, but it's TONIGHT!"

-----------------------------------------

A guy goes into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila and one beer chaser. The
bartender lines up seven shots and goes to get the beer. When he comes back with
the beer only moments later, all seven shots were gone.

The bartender says, "Wow! You sure drank those fast."

The guy explains, "You'd drink fast too if you had what I have."

The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy reaches into his pocket and says, "Fifty cents!"