A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how
long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - *I* don't need to ask my patients these
kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking." She smugly added, "Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said, "There
you are. ...Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."

This woman went to the doctor, wanting to find out about the latest weight loss program.

The doctor tells her, "Well- there is a new one that you can lose a lot of weight with, and what you do is ingest everything
anally."

After about 6 weeks, the woman walks into his office for a follow-up. She was walking a bit bent over, and was swaying her
behind extremely from side to side

The doctor didn't even recognize her -- she had lost so much weight. "Maam- you look wonderful!"

She said, "Thanks, Doc. I have lost 150 pounds!"

The doctor said, "Great! Now let me see if I can do something about that limp of yours.

She said, "Limp hell? I'm chewin' gum!"