Three contractors were touring the white house on the same day. One was from New York, another from Missouri, and the
third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living.

When they each replied that they were contractors the guard said "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't
you guys look at it and give me a bid."

So to the back fence they went. First up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some
measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Next was the Missouri contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like
I can do this Job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."

Then the guard asks the New York contractor how much. Without so much as moving the contractor says, $2700."

The guard, incredulous, looks at him and says "You didn't even measure like the guys! How did you come up with such a high
figure?"

"Easy" says the contractor from New York, "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you and we hire the guy from Missouri."

Three nuns died and went to Heaven. St. Peter told them that they had been saintly and holy nuns but would each have to
answer a question in order to enter Heaven.

He asked the first nun, Sister Angelica, "Who was the first man on earth?"

"Oh", she replied. "That was Adam."

Trumpets blared, angels sang, St. Peter gave her a white robe and welcomed Sister Angelica to Heaven.

He asked the second nun, Sister Carmela, "Who was the first woman on earth?"

"Oh", she replied. "That would be Eve."

Trumpets blared, angels sang, St. Peter gave her a white robe and welcomed Sister Carmela to Heaven.

The third nun, Sister Maria, was getting a bit nervous because the first questions had been so easy. St. Peter turned to her and
asked "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?"

"Oh", she replied. "That's very hard."

Trumpets blared, angels sang, St. Peter gave her a white robe and welcomed Sister Maria to Heaven.