January 10 5:00 P.M. It's starting to snow. The first of the season, and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It is beautiful.

January 11, we woke to a lovely blanket of crystal snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time and loved it. I did both our driveway and sidewalk. Later a county snow plow came along and accidentally covered our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved and shoveled again.

January 12, it snowed an additional five inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly after, the snow plow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish-gray.

January 13, warmed enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought some snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing broke. Move snow and ice expected.

January 14, still cold, sold the wife's car and bought a 4x4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guard rail anyway and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. Had another eight inches of the white shit last night. Both vehicles covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That goddamn snow plow came by twice today.

January 15, two degrees outside, more fuckin' snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burnt the house down. I managed to put out the flames, but suffered second degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyebrows and eyelashes. Car slid on the ice on the way to the emergency room and was totaled.

January 16, goddamn mother fucking white shit keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fucking mailbox. If I catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snow plow I'll chew open his chest and rip out his heart. I think he hides around the corner and waits for our driveway to be shoveled again. Power still off. Toilets are frozen and part of the roof has started to cave in.

January 17, six goddamn more fuckin' inches of fuckin' sleet and fuckin' ice and God knows what other kind of white fuckin' shit fell last night. I wounded the fuckin' snow plow asshole with an ice axe, but he got away. Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow-blind. I can't move my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More snow predicted. Wind-chill minus 22 fuckin' degrees. I'm moving back to North Carolina.